Saddam Hussein executed, ending era in Iraq
Iraqis cheer after deposed dictator hanged for 148 Shiite deaths in 1982
NBC News and news services
BAGHDAD, Iraq - Saddam Hussein struggled briefly after American military guards handed him over to Iraqi executioners before dawn Saturday. But as his final moments approached and masked executioners slipped a black cloth and noose around his neck, he grew calm.
In a final moment of defiance, he refused a hood to cover his eyes.
Hours after Saddam faced the same fate he was accused of inflicting on countless thousands during a quarter-century of ruthless power, Iraqi state television showed grainy video of what it said was his body, the head uncovered and the neck twisted at a sharp angle.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
that's a lovely scarf, saddam....
what a nice way to ring in the new year!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
The Official Lavinius "State of the Nation" Address
The starting nine as presently constituted, and likely go into the season with:
Lugo
Youk
Papi
Manny
Drew
Lowell
Tek
Pedroia
Crisp
Good speed and OBP at the top
Outstanding power bats/OBP in the middle
Solid 6 hitter, declining but serviceable #7 hitter
Unproven yet promising #8 hitter
Well above avg #9 hitter
I have Coco 9th because I want him back to back with Lugo. Them hitting back to back allows the Sox to do some things on the bases (double steal, hit and run, better chance of going from 1st to 3rd on a single, essentially be more aggressive on the basepaths). Pedroia's production (or lack thereof) in the 8 hole will dictate whether or not he's more suited for the 8 or 9 hole. Preferably, I'd like to see the two speedsters hitting back to back.
The starting rotation is looking like this (assuming we don't whiff on a closer and Papelbon isn't moved back there):
Schilling
Dice-K
Beckett
Papelbon
Wakefield
That's as solid a starting five as you're gonna get. Look for Lester to be integrated into this rotation as well as the season progresses, giving the team six above average starters in their respective spots in the rotation.
A quick aside-- I watched some video clips of Dice-K last night both in Japan and in the WBC. He was extremely impressive. I loved his mound demeanor (very Pedro-esque in that respect). He's portrays a very calm like confidence giving off the aura that he's in charge. I love seeing that out of pitchers. He has a fastball that gets up into the mid 90's that he's able to throw by hitters consistently. He loves burying that fastball on the inside corner to right handed hitters. He's very effective doing that.
Offsetting the fastball is an 80 mph screwball/gyro ball that seems to fall off the table. It has the illusion of a knee/waist high strike, then at the very last second falls off the table.
He also mixed in a slider and a change-up, giving him four effective pitches.
Performance wise, he was as good as it gets in Japan. Probably the best pitcher in Japan during his time there. In his final season there, he was 17-5 with a 2.13 ERA. In 186.1 innings, he struck out 200 while walking just 34!
Did I mention 14 complete games?
He dominated the WBC too, taking home the MVP honors there. He went 3-0 with a 1.38 ERA en route to leading Japan to the title.
He finished his Japanese baseball career with a 108-60 record with a 2.95 ERA and 1.17 WHIP in eight seasons.
Basically, he's dominated at every level he's pitched at. The big leagues is the next logical step.
He will have to overcome a few obstacles, however. In Japan, he pitched on six days of rest. Over here he's gonna have to pitch on five. Will he make the transition? My guess is yes. Don't look for him to tally 14 complete games, however. :)
As for the other starters, I expect Curt to go out on a positive note. I'd look for 15+ wins out of him. Beckett's second season in the AL should be an improvement over his first. I wouldn't expect a 5+ ERA again.
Papelbon is conditioning his arm for 150+ innings of work, and it'll be better for his shoulder/arm to pitch every fifth day as opposed to 2-3 times/week as a closer. I'd only advocate a move back to the closer's role this year should we whiff on acquiring a featured closer this offseason.
Wakefield as a #5 might be the best #5 in baseball. He's always a lock for double digit wins. You won't find many #5s that win ya 10+ games with an ERA in the low to mid 4's.
Now, where things get dicey is the 'pen. Okajima I think can be a decent arm for us both in short inning work and as a lefty specialist. He might even emerge as the featured set-up guy on this team. With 681 K's in 642 innings over in Japan, he's proven his worth as a K pitcher. Look for him to get some situational work, and if successful, will see increased work as a short inning man and set up guy.
Timlin? I'd look for him to receive the primary set-up duties. We know what we get out of him: solid, unspectacular ball. Probably below average as far as set-up men goes; certainly below average for a set-up man on a playoff team to be sure. I'd like to see him more in a 7th inning role and us go out and get a guy in the Scot Shields/Brandon Donnely mold.
Delcarmen is a good young arm in our 'pen; more polished than Hansen at their respective stages of their careers. I look for him to see more high leverage situations in '07. Last year, he had a decent K to BB ratio of 45/17 (close to 3 to 1) in 53.1 innings. His 68 hits allowed over that time is a bit high for my blood. He must get that number down if he's going to emerge as a 7th inning go-to guy for us. Natural maturation will help there.
A sleeper in the group could be Devern Hansack. He posted impressive numbers last year, albeit with a small sample size. In 10 innings, he posted a 8 to 1 K/BB ratio, accompanied by a WHIP of 0.70 and a BAA of .171. Very good numbers that certainly warrant a further look. I would like to see him get a shot in our 'pen to see if he can build off last year's numbers.
As for Hansen, he might have the greatest upside in our 'pen, but he needs more seasoning. In order to be an effective reliever at this level, he needs a dominant offspeed pitch to offset his fastball. I heard Francona say something in a press conference I thought rang true: "it doesn't matter if you throw 1000 mph...if it's straight, it's gonna get turned around." That was the case with Hansen last year. If he wants to transition into the future closer of this team, he needs to command at least one other pitch, preferably of the off-speed variety.
Outside of that, this team needs a closer. Where will it come from? Will we trade away a Murphy, Ellsbury, WMP, or somebody of that ilk to acquire one? You'd hate to see this season go into the tank because of an inability to hold a 8th/9th inning lead. To me, I do whatever I can to get a featured closer in here, whether it's Cordero (WASH), Gonzalez, (PITT), or somebody of a similar caliber, but this team must go into the season with a featured closer. I don't want to go through April-June with a shaky closer, fall X amount of games behind the Yankees as a result, and be forced to acquire one at the deadline. Ideally, I'd like to get our closer now. And again, Papelbon would be a "last resort" kind of thing.
Well, that's my state of the team. I really believe we have the offense and the starting pitching to win it all. The big question marks will be the defense and the bullpen. Hopefully the front office will be just as diligent repairing those areas of the team as it was repairing the right field/#5 hitter, SS, and front end starting pitcher holes.
Lugo
Youk
Papi
Manny
Drew
Lowell
Tek
Pedroia
Crisp
Good speed and OBP at the top
Outstanding power bats/OBP in the middle
Solid 6 hitter, declining but serviceable #7 hitter
Unproven yet promising #8 hitter
Well above avg #9 hitter
I have Coco 9th because I want him back to back with Lugo. Them hitting back to back allows the Sox to do some things on the bases (double steal, hit and run, better chance of going from 1st to 3rd on a single, essentially be more aggressive on the basepaths). Pedroia's production (or lack thereof) in the 8 hole will dictate whether or not he's more suited for the 8 or 9 hole. Preferably, I'd like to see the two speedsters hitting back to back.
The starting rotation is looking like this (assuming we don't whiff on a closer and Papelbon isn't moved back there):
Schilling
Dice-K
Beckett
Papelbon
Wakefield
That's as solid a starting five as you're gonna get. Look for Lester to be integrated into this rotation as well as the season progresses, giving the team six above average starters in their respective spots in the rotation.
A quick aside-- I watched some video clips of Dice-K last night both in Japan and in the WBC. He was extremely impressive. I loved his mound demeanor (very Pedro-esque in that respect). He's portrays a very calm like confidence giving off the aura that he's in charge. I love seeing that out of pitchers. He has a fastball that gets up into the mid 90's that he's able to throw by hitters consistently. He loves burying that fastball on the inside corner to right handed hitters. He's very effective doing that.
Offsetting the fastball is an 80 mph screwball/gyro ball that seems to fall off the table. It has the illusion of a knee/waist high strike, then at the very last second falls off the table.
He also mixed in a slider and a change-up, giving him four effective pitches.
Performance wise, he was as good as it gets in Japan. Probably the best pitcher in Japan during his time there. In his final season there, he was 17-5 with a 2.13 ERA. In 186.1 innings, he struck out 200 while walking just 34!
Did I mention 14 complete games?
He dominated the WBC too, taking home the MVP honors there. He went 3-0 with a 1.38 ERA en route to leading Japan to the title.
He finished his Japanese baseball career with a 108-60 record with a 2.95 ERA and 1.17 WHIP in eight seasons.
Basically, he's dominated at every level he's pitched at. The big leagues is the next logical step.
He will have to overcome a few obstacles, however. In Japan, he pitched on six days of rest. Over here he's gonna have to pitch on five. Will he make the transition? My guess is yes. Don't look for him to tally 14 complete games, however. :)
As for the other starters, I expect Curt to go out on a positive note. I'd look for 15+ wins out of him. Beckett's second season in the AL should be an improvement over his first. I wouldn't expect a 5+ ERA again.
Papelbon is conditioning his arm for 150+ innings of work, and it'll be better for his shoulder/arm to pitch every fifth day as opposed to 2-3 times/week as a closer. I'd only advocate a move back to the closer's role this year should we whiff on acquiring a featured closer this offseason.
Wakefield as a #5 might be the best #5 in baseball. He's always a lock for double digit wins. You won't find many #5s that win ya 10+ games with an ERA in the low to mid 4's.
Now, where things get dicey is the 'pen. Okajima I think can be a decent arm for us both in short inning work and as a lefty specialist. He might even emerge as the featured set-up guy on this team. With 681 K's in 642 innings over in Japan, he's proven his worth as a K pitcher. Look for him to get some situational work, and if successful, will see increased work as a short inning man and set up guy.
Timlin? I'd look for him to receive the primary set-up duties. We know what we get out of him: solid, unspectacular ball. Probably below average as far as set-up men goes; certainly below average for a set-up man on a playoff team to be sure. I'd like to see him more in a 7th inning role and us go out and get a guy in the Scot Shields/Brandon Donnely mold.
Delcarmen is a good young arm in our 'pen; more polished than Hansen at their respective stages of their careers. I look for him to see more high leverage situations in '07. Last year, he had a decent K to BB ratio of 45/17 (close to 3 to 1) in 53.1 innings. His 68 hits allowed over that time is a bit high for my blood. He must get that number down if he's going to emerge as a 7th inning go-to guy for us. Natural maturation will help there.
A sleeper in the group could be Devern Hansack. He posted impressive numbers last year, albeit with a small sample size. In 10 innings, he posted a 8 to 1 K/BB ratio, accompanied by a WHIP of 0.70 and a BAA of .171. Very good numbers that certainly warrant a further look. I would like to see him get a shot in our 'pen to see if he can build off last year's numbers.
As for Hansen, he might have the greatest upside in our 'pen, but he needs more seasoning. In order to be an effective reliever at this level, he needs a dominant offspeed pitch to offset his fastball. I heard Francona say something in a press conference I thought rang true: "it doesn't matter if you throw 1000 mph...if it's straight, it's gonna get turned around." That was the case with Hansen last year. If he wants to transition into the future closer of this team, he needs to command at least one other pitch, preferably of the off-speed variety.
Outside of that, this team needs a closer. Where will it come from? Will we trade away a Murphy, Ellsbury, WMP, or somebody of that ilk to acquire one? You'd hate to see this season go into the tank because of an inability to hold a 8th/9th inning lead. To me, I do whatever I can to get a featured closer in here, whether it's Cordero (WASH), Gonzalez, (PITT), or somebody of a similar caliber, but this team must go into the season with a featured closer. I don't want to go through April-June with a shaky closer, fall X amount of games behind the Yankees as a result, and be forced to acquire one at the deadline. Ideally, I'd like to get our closer now. And again, Papelbon would be a "last resort" kind of thing.
Well, that's my state of the team. I really believe we have the offense and the starting pitching to win it all. The big question marks will be the defense and the bullpen. Hopefully the front office will be just as diligent repairing those areas of the team as it was repairing the right field/#5 hitter, SS, and front end starting pitcher holes.
Thursday, November 30, 2006
The "Big Man" to Run for President in 2008
This is my type of candidate!
----
Fuck the democrats in the ear. Piss on the republicans. They’re two sides of the same fuckin’ coin. The Big Man has no use for any of them cocksucking crooks in down there in Washington. The only things politicians give a shit about is lining their own pockets and getting their fat, thieving asses re-elected. I mean, sweet limping Jesus, look at the freak show we got on tap for 2008:
Is the suspense killing you?
----
Fuck the democrats in the ear. Piss on the republicans. They’re two sides of the same fuckin’ coin. The Big Man has no use for any of them cocksucking crooks in down there in Washington. The only things politicians give a shit about is lining their own pockets and getting their fat, thieving asses re-elected. I mean, sweet limping Jesus, look at the freak show we got on tap for 2008:
Is the suspense killing you?
Friday, November 24, 2006
i think they're referring to the "pipeline" service...
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks
November 7, 2006
PLANO, TX—With the recent trend of wholesome snack foods reaching "truly ridiculous proportions," Frito-Lay announced Monday that it would, against its better judgment, roll out a new line of healthy fruit-and-vegetable-based chips next February.
Frito Lay R
"Here," said Frito-Lay CEO Al Carey as he disgustedly tossed a bag of the company's new Flat Earth-brand snack crisps onto the lectern during a meeting with shareholders and members of the press. "Here's some shit that's made from beets. I hope you're all happy now that you have your precious beet chips with the recommended daily serving of fruit, or vegetables, or whatever the hell a 'beet' is."
"Mmm, dehydrated bulb things," Carey added. "Sounds delicious."
Carey appeared visibly appalled as Frito-Lay employees distributed Flat Earth snack samples to the audience.
"God help us all, would you look at these flavors," said Carey, gesturing toward a display showcasing the several varieties of Flat Earth chips, including Kauliflower Krunch, Raisins 'N Chives, Cranberry Spinach Explosion, Rutabaga Yum, Tofu Snaps, Eggplant Ecstasy, Broccoloroos, and Watercress. "Look at what you've reduced us to."
Enlarge ImageFrito Lay Jump R
Frito-Lay delivery people drop off a "bunch of bullshit to some pricks somewhere."
"Weren't Sun Chips healthy enough for you, you goddamn hippie bastards?" Carey added.
Frito-Lay spokeswoman Lisa Greeley, who said that the company made a commitment in 2004 to develop a healthier line of snacks but "never thought it would actually come to this," described the Flat Earth brand as "tailor-made for the small, vocal minority of health-conscious consumers who apparently can't just be content with salads, bananas, apples, or any of the literally thousands of fruits and vegetables already widely available."
"Our new veggie snacks combine the zesty tang of parsnip, the most mouthwatering root vegetable out there, with the bold flavor of, let's say, jute?" said Greeley before reluctantly bringing a Turnips 'N Radish chip to her mouth and forcing down a full bite. "It's a brand-new taste sensation unlike anything you've ever experienced, unless you've ever eaten sisal twine."
According to Frito-Lay's website, the new snacks contain one-third of the fat, one-half of the calories, and one-1,000th of the irresistible flavor of Frito-Lay's classic line of potato and corn chips. The presence of trans-fats and saturated oils is avoided by employing a cooking process "strikingly similar to the method used to create particle board." Serving suggestions that will be printed on the packaging include "definitely not adding any salt or seasoning, because then you might die"; dipping the chips in "delicious plain yogurt, lettuce paste, or other ground-up Flat Earth products"; and enhancing the flavor by replacing the chip in your hand with a Hot'n Spicy BBQ chip.
In January, Frito-Lay will launch a Flat Earth marketing campaign based on the slogan, "Bet You Can't Eat Even One." Surprisingly, however, the company is also in talks with distributors to ensure that Flat Earth snacks are installed in every school vending machine in the country.
"Oh, they're definitely going in the vending machines," Carey said. "Everyone's going to share in this misery, not just a handful of Naderites with spastic colons or loser kids with no taste buds whose parents want them to grow up to be boring milquetoasts afraid to have any fun. And don't think we haven't forgotten you either, office workers on snack breaks and anyone who wants to serve a big bowl of disappointment at a cocktail party."
"If this is what you want, America, fine," Carey continued. "But if you don't like them, then you can suck my fucking dick, because this is it—no more veggie crisps after this. None. You hear me? None."
"You're all gonna die eventually, anyway," Carey added. "Might as well be eating Cool Ranch Doritos with cheese dip when you go."
Frito-Lay is now considering discontinuing its traditional snack line and focusing entirely on chickpeas and sprouts, since, according to Carey, Americans "are so scared of getting fat, and are clearly no longer interested in good-tasting food."
"You all disgust me," said Carey, who then kicked over the Flat Earth display and stormed out of the room.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Sayonara Saddam!
Saddam sentenced to death by hangingShiites, Kurds celebrate upon hearing court's guilty verdict
BAGHDAD, Iraq - Iraq's High Tribunal on Sunday found Saddam Hussein guilty of crimes against humanity and sentenced him to hang for the 1982 killing of 148 Shiites in the city of Dujail. The visibly shaken former leader shouted "God is great!"
Saddam's half brother and former intelligence chief Barzan Ibrahim, and Awad Hamed al-Bandar, head of the former Revolutionary Court, were sentenced to join Saddam on the gallows for the Dujail killings after an unsuccessful assassination attempt during a Saddam visit to the city 35 miles north of Baghdad.
The death sentences automatically go to a nine-judge appeals panel which as unlimited time to review the case. If the verdicts and sentences are upheld, the executions must be carried out within 30 days.
(full story)Saturday, November 04, 2006
Police arrest naked man with concealed weapon...
Police arrest naked man after he allegedly said he had a tool in his rectum
EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.
The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.
John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
This woman can eat nails and shit lightning!
(well...at least the second part)
A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.
Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.
She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.
"I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.
...the rest
A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.
Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.
She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.
"I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.
...the rest
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Redskins player not happy with Madden game rating...
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98...
read the rest here
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98...
read the rest here
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Cory Lidle, Rest in Peace
Course, as a Yankees hater, I'd prefer to remember Lidle from his days in Oakland. He was a serviceable pitcher that could play various pitching roles, and not a bad word could be heard from him or about him.Class. He just had class.
Bud Selig noted, "Cory was only 34 years old and had played in the Major Leagues for nine seasons with seven different clubs. He leaves a young wife, Melanie, and a young son, Christopher. Our hearts go out to them on this terrible day."
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
what do you call a group of millionaires watching the ALCS and World Series at home?
the new york yankees!
bwahahhahahahahhaaa. go detroit!
bwahahhahahahahhaaa. go detroit!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Week 4 NFL Picks
SAINTS +7
Saints coming off emotional win and Carolina looking to get Steve Smith lots of action, so logic would be a play on the Panthers. Pure value play here as the road team has won the last 9 ATS in this series.
Saints coming off emotional win and Carolina looking to get Steve Smith lots of action, so logic would be a play on the Panthers. Pure value play here as the road team has won the last 9 ATS in this series.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Something to wash that down with, sir?
This image provided by the Direction of Penal Centers of El Salvador shows an x-ray taken of one of four prisoners at a maximum security Salvadoran prison in Zacatecoluca, 35 miles southeast of the capital of El Salvador. Four cellular telephones were found in the intestines of as many prisoners in El Salvador's maximum-security prison, authorities said Wednesday, Sept. 6, 2006. The discovery happened Tuesday at the prison in Zacatecoluca after suspicious prison officials took x-rays of each of the prisoners, prison spokesman Jaime Villanova said.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Cooch: "Hanley will be the equivalent of Alex Cora"
Wow...pass me some of what you're smoking.
Hanley in his first full season in the bigs, at age 22:
.279, 13 HR, 49 RBI, 35 doubles, 10 triples, 44 SBs, 105 runs
Just in comparison, Cora's most productive year in the bigs:
.264, 10 HR, 47 RBI, 9 doubles, 4 triples, 3 SBs, 47 runs
and his next best season, comparatively speaking:
.249, 4 HR, 34 RBI, 24 doubles, 3 triples, 4 SBs, 39 runs
Hanley the equivalent of Cora? At age 22, Hanley has already surpassed Cora's best big league season. Where's the basis for that kind of thinking?
There's absolutely no reason to believe Hanley can't get better. With a normal progression curve, he should be one of the top SS's in the league for years to come, with a few all-star appearances in his future.
Hanley in his first full season in the bigs, at age 22:
.279, 13 HR, 49 RBI, 35 doubles, 10 triples, 44 SBs, 105 runs
Just in comparison, Cora's most productive year in the bigs:
.264, 10 HR, 47 RBI, 9 doubles, 4 triples, 3 SBs, 47 runs
and his next best season, comparatively speaking:
.249, 4 HR, 34 RBI, 24 doubles, 3 triples, 4 SBs, 39 runs
Hanley the equivalent of Cora? At age 22, Hanley has already surpassed Cora's best big league season. Where's the basis for that kind of thinking?
There's absolutely no reason to believe Hanley can't get better. With a normal progression curve, he should be one of the top SS's in the league for years to come, with a few all-star appearances in his future.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
book your world series tickets now red sox fans!!!
but, it will likely be the yankees vs. whomever in the NL...
BOSTON -- The Boston Red Sox obtained right-hander Kevin Jarvis from Arizona for a player to be named or cash and assigned him to Triple-A Pawtucket on Thursday night.
The 37-year-old Jarvis was 0-1 with an 11.91 ERA in five games with the Diamondbacks this season and joins his 10th major-league organization. In his major-league career, he is 34-48 with a 6.05 ERA in 183 appearances.
In 15 games, 13 of them starts, with Triple-A Tucson this year Jarvis was 3-6 with a 3.44 ERA.
---
seriously, sox, when is it time to stop gambling on has-been/never-will-be pitchers with 6.00+ ERAs?
BOSTON -- The Boston Red Sox obtained right-hander Kevin Jarvis from Arizona for a player to be named or cash and assigned him to Triple-A Pawtucket on Thursday night.
The 37-year-old Jarvis was 0-1 with an 11.91 ERA in five games with the Diamondbacks this season and joins his 10th major-league organization. In his major-league career, he is 34-48 with a 6.05 ERA in 183 appearances.
In 15 games, 13 of them starts, with Triple-A Tucson this year Jarvis was 3-6 with a 3.44 ERA.
---
seriously, sox, when is it time to stop gambling on has-been/never-will-be pitchers with 6.00+ ERAs?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Red Sox Announce a 2-man rotation
With Wakefield and Clement on the shelf, 22-year-old Jon Lester in a hospital being tested for cancer, and Wells off to San Diego in an extra heavy duty plane used to transport elephants, the Sox are in a world of shit without any toilet paper.
Yep-- it's desperation time in Boston. They are all but out of the division race. They are hanging on by dental floss in the wild card race. Desperate times call for desperate measures-- which is why the Red Sox announced they are going with a rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way.
"As much as Tavarez, Snyder, Jason Johnson, and a pitching dummy are viable pitching options-- we've decided to go with a two-man rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way" , Red Sox manager Terry Francona said at an impromptu press conference yesterday following the Sox 6-4 win over Toronto.
"We're taking this shit back to the old school", said an exacerbated Theo Epstein. Fuck SABERMETRICS, fuck lefty/righty splits, fuck home/away ERA, fuck it all. I've had it with this shit. If we're gonna get back in this race, we gotta pull out all the fucking stops. If that means going unconventional on people's asses, then that's what we gonna do. Word to your mom."
The rotation for the coming days looks like this:
Friday 9/1: it will be Josh Beckett facing off against Ted Lilly
Saturday 9/2: Curt Schilling will be opposed by AJ Burnett
Sunday 9.3: Josh Beckett will be back on the rubber to face Gustavo Chacin
Monday 9/4: a well rested Curt Schilling faces a big test against Chisox ace Jon Garland
Selected seats are still available. Those with leftover ice in your finished soft drinks are encouraged to drop it off at the kiosks conveniently located next to the Red Sox dugout.
Yep-- it's desperation time in Boston. They are all but out of the division race. They are hanging on by dental floss in the wild card race. Desperate times call for desperate measures-- which is why the Red Sox announced they are going with a rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way.
"As much as Tavarez, Snyder, Jason Johnson, and a pitching dummy are viable pitching options-- we've decided to go with a two-man rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way" , Red Sox manager Terry Francona said at an impromptu press conference yesterday following the Sox 6-4 win over Toronto.
"We're taking this shit back to the old school", said an exacerbated Theo Epstein. Fuck SABERMETRICS, fuck lefty/righty splits, fuck home/away ERA, fuck it all. I've had it with this shit. If we're gonna get back in this race, we gotta pull out all the fucking stops. If that means going unconventional on people's asses, then that's what we gonna do. Word to your mom."
The rotation for the coming days looks like this:
Friday 9/1: it will be Josh Beckett facing off against Ted Lilly
Saturday 9/2: Curt Schilling will be opposed by AJ Burnett
Sunday 9.3: Josh Beckett will be back on the rubber to face Gustavo Chacin
Monday 9/4: a well rested Curt Schilling faces a big test against Chisox ace Jon Garland
Selected seats are still available. Those with leftover ice in your finished soft drinks are encouraged to drop it off at the kiosks conveniently located next to the Red Sox dugout.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
is this the pawsox or the red sox?
check out last night's starting lineup:
coco crisp, cf
alex coro, ss
mark loretta, dh (dh???)
kevin youkilis, lf (cleanup? in left field?)
erik hinske, rf
mike lowell, 3b
javy lopez, c
carlos pena, 1b
dustin pedroia, 2b
coco crisp, cf
alex coro, ss
mark loretta, dh (dh???)
kevin youkilis, lf (cleanup? in left field?)
erik hinske, rf
mike lowell, 3b
javy lopez, c
carlos pena, 1b
dustin pedroia, 2b
Sunday, August 27, 2006
It's the Most Shittiful Time of the Year...
Nine months out of the year-- there is no place I'd rather live than south Florida. But the remaining three months or so-- I do a complete one muh'fuckin eighty. Why? Hurricane season! And I'm not talking about the local college football team.
From August to October-- south Floridians are keeping close tabs on the weather. We're looking for those developing storms off the coast of Africa or the eastern Carribean. We're looking at projected paths and storm intensity-- and if that sumbitch is forecasted to come anywhere near south Florida, everybody scurries to the gas station and the local supermarkets. We're talking about gas lines that go on forever. If you can get to the pump in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. If you can get through the checkout counter at the supermarket in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. In any event, it's a damn free-for-all...
The first storm to hit south Florida this year was Ernesto. It was projected to be a category 1 storm, but fortunately was only a tropical storm. Turned out to be one big fakeout. Just got a bunch of rain dumped on us and that was it. But after last year, I ain't taking any chances. Hurricane Wilma was supposed to only be a cat 1 storm. Instead, it was a cat 3 and it blew my damn upstairs window out in my memorabilia room. So for three hours or so, I had 100+ mph gusts blowing inside that room. I literally had to take pictures-- some of which very valuable, off my wall while category 3 wind gusts blew inside the room. There was still jagged pieces of glass left in the window from where it blew out-- so I could have very easily been hit by one of those pieces. But I didn't care. I had far too many valuables in that room-- and I had to remove them as fast and as safely as I could.
It was a scary experience to say the least. Never would I have dreamed that a hurricane could blow out my window like that. Call it ignorance-- but I'm about 4 miles west of the ocean in a thickly settled neighborhood. Thought I had sufficient wind-breakers in the adjoining and nearby houses-- but I was sadly mistaken. When it was all said and done-- it cost me about $2,500 to repair everything wrong with the house. We're talking broken window, paint job, pressure cleaning, my screened-in porch which was torn to shreds at the roof, the awning that hangs over my guestroom window above the garage. It was crazy...borderline surreal.
In short, what I'm getting at is, you just can't take chances during hurricane season. You gotta be prepared. My thinking is, I'd rather be prepared and be wrong than not be prepared and be wrong. And what's the worst that can happen? You have some extra soup and baked beans in the cupboard. BFD.
Hopefully this year's hurricane season is a lot more docile than last year's. I'm in the process of getting impact (hurricane) windows installed for every room in the hizzy. I thought about putting up hurricane shutters-- but the sunlight from outside means too much to me-- and well, I'd rather not live in a cave. I'll take impact windows, thank you very much.
In the meantime, you northern folks enjoy it. Come winter time when you're freezing your balls or tits off in a below zero wind chill-- you wish you were down in the Sunshine State. But I ain't gonna lie-- I wish I was in New England right now. It's a great place to be in the summer time. Someday I'd like to live up there seasonally-- spend maybe 3-4 months there and the rest of the time in Florida. Someday...
From August to October-- south Floridians are keeping close tabs on the weather. We're looking for those developing storms off the coast of Africa or the eastern Carribean. We're looking at projected paths and storm intensity-- and if that sumbitch is forecasted to come anywhere near south Florida, everybody scurries to the gas station and the local supermarkets. We're talking about gas lines that go on forever. If you can get to the pump in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. If you can get through the checkout counter at the supermarket in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. In any event, it's a damn free-for-all...
The first storm to hit south Florida this year was Ernesto. It was projected to be a category 1 storm, but fortunately was only a tropical storm. Turned out to be one big fakeout. Just got a bunch of rain dumped on us and that was it. But after last year, I ain't taking any chances. Hurricane Wilma was supposed to only be a cat 1 storm. Instead, it was a cat 3 and it blew my damn upstairs window out in my memorabilia room. So for three hours or so, I had 100+ mph gusts blowing inside that room. I literally had to take pictures-- some of which very valuable, off my wall while category 3 wind gusts blew inside the room. There was still jagged pieces of glass left in the window from where it blew out-- so I could have very easily been hit by one of those pieces. But I didn't care. I had far too many valuables in that room-- and I had to remove them as fast and as safely as I could.
It was a scary experience to say the least. Never would I have dreamed that a hurricane could blow out my window like that. Call it ignorance-- but I'm about 4 miles west of the ocean in a thickly settled neighborhood. Thought I had sufficient wind-breakers in the adjoining and nearby houses-- but I was sadly mistaken. When it was all said and done-- it cost me about $2,500 to repair everything wrong with the house. We're talking broken window, paint job, pressure cleaning, my screened-in porch which was torn to shreds at the roof, the awning that hangs over my guestroom window above the garage. It was crazy...borderline surreal.
In short, what I'm getting at is, you just can't take chances during hurricane season. You gotta be prepared. My thinking is, I'd rather be prepared and be wrong than not be prepared and be wrong. And what's the worst that can happen? You have some extra soup and baked beans in the cupboard. BFD.
Hopefully this year's hurricane season is a lot more docile than last year's. I'm in the process of getting impact (hurricane) windows installed for every room in the hizzy. I thought about putting up hurricane shutters-- but the sunlight from outside means too much to me-- and well, I'd rather not live in a cave. I'll take impact windows, thank you very much.
In the meantime, you northern folks enjoy it. Come winter time when you're freezing your balls or tits off in a below zero wind chill-- you wish you were down in the Sunshine State. But I ain't gonna lie-- I wish I was in New England right now. It's a great place to be in the summer time. Someday I'd like to live up there seasonally-- spend maybe 3-4 months there and the rest of the time in Florida. Someday...
Saturday, August 26, 2006
It's all in the pronounciation Part II
whorepresents.com
expertsexchange.com
therapistfinder.com
powergenitalia.com
molestationnursery.com
ipanywhere.com
cummingfirst.com
speedofart.com
gotahoe.com
credit: canestime.com
expertsexchange.com
therapistfinder.com
powergenitalia.com
molestationnursery.com
ipanywhere.com
cummingfirst.com
speedofart.com
gotahoe.com
credit: canestime.com
Thursday, August 24, 2006
Tuesday, August 01, 2006
The TV Deal the NBA Wishes It Had Not Made
Brothers Ozzie and Dan Silna, co-owners of the long-forgotten ABA team, the Spirits of St. Louis make $24 million a year and haven't had a team in 30 years.
---
Roughly once a month, the NBA cuts 31 checks to NBA teams as revenue from its multibillion-dollar national television contract.
There are only 30 NBA franchises, so who gets the extra check?
The money goes to brothers Ozzie and Dan Silna, co-owners of the long-forgotten ABA team, the Spirits of St. Louis.
Thirty years ago, Ozzie Silna, with attorney Donald Schupak, negotiated a deal that cleared the way for the ABA to merge with the NBA. It ranks as one of the best sports deals in modern times, one that has paid the Silnas about $168 million and continues to pay off.
(full story)
---
Roughly once a month, the NBA cuts 31 checks to NBA teams as revenue from its multibillion-dollar national television contract.
There are only 30 NBA franchises, so who gets the extra check?
The money goes to brothers Ozzie and Dan Silna, co-owners of the long-forgotten ABA team, the Spirits of St. Louis.
Thirty years ago, Ozzie Silna, with attorney Donald Schupak, negotiated a deal that cleared the way for the ABA to merge with the NBA. It ranks as one of the best sports deals in modern times, one that has paid the Silnas about $168 million and continues to pay off.
(full story)
Lavinius with Miami Hurricanes cheerleaders
One of the crowning moments of my life. :)
(I'm the one on the right)
(I'm the one on the right)
Monday, July 03, 2006
Sox set MLB record for errorless games
MIAMI - The Boston Red Sox saw their record streak of error-free games end Saturday, when catcher Doug Mirabelli's throw to second base sailed into center field in the first inning against the Florida Marlins.
It was Boston's first error in 18 games; the 17-game run of perfect defense was one more than the previous best in major league history, set by the 1992 St. Louis Cardinals.
[full stizzory here]
It was Boston's first error in 18 games; the 17-game run of perfect defense was one more than the previous best in major league history, set by the 1992 St. Louis Cardinals.
[full stizzory here]
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Fear of...pickles?
Girl on Maury Povich is terrified to the bone of pickles! We're not talking snakes, or spiders, or even the dark. We talkin' PICKLES!
Picklephobia
Picklephobia
Friday, June 23, 2006
Phillies' Myers charged with hitting wife
BOSTON (AP) - Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was arrested Friday and charged with hitting his wife in the face on a street not far from Fenway Park.
The team's best starter, who was scheduled to pitch Saturday against the Red Sox, pleaded not guilty to assault charges at his arraignment Friday in Boston Municipal Court, said David Procopio, a spokesman for the Suffolk County District Attorney's office. Myers' next court date is Aug. 4.full story
...
My guess: like most other battered women, she probably "just doesn't listen."
Shit. That's bad... Just kidding, really... Myers plead not guilty to the charges.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
where are they now? paxton crawford, pitcher/steroid user
paxton crawford, after 10 seasons of minor league ball (only 15 games in the mlb with the red sox), called it quits and is now working at the family farm in arkansas.
crawford has recently admitted to using steroids in the minors prior to his promotion to the sox in 2001, and used HGH during his brief mlb stay. crawford was nothing better than average, finally realizing that life in the independent league and AA-ball wasn't his, errr, beef. good luck on the family farm, crawford. your 15 games with the sox will never be forgotten. (ahhhh, who is paxton crawford?)
crawford has recently admitted to using steroids in the minors prior to his promotion to the sox in 2001, and used HGH during his brief mlb stay. crawford was nothing better than average, finally realizing that life in the independent league and AA-ball wasn't his, errr, beef. good luck on the family farm, crawford. your 15 games with the sox will never be forgotten. (ahhhh, who is paxton crawford?)
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
a couple of red sox rarities...
1. tim wakefield actually got some run support tonight. the sox put up 8 early runs, while wakes only gave up a penny en route to a victory... box score ... in wake's 8 losses, the sox have scored a total of 6 runs!
2. alex cora, after a 3-3 performance, is now hitting .304 and sports a .396 OBP (see box score link above) - obviously, he will not continue the pace, but when's the last time that you could say cora was an offensive machine? my props to cora for being solid all season...
2. alex cora, after a 3-3 performance, is now hitting .304 and sports a .396 OBP (see box score link above) - obviously, he will not continue the pace, but when's the last time that you could say cora was an offensive machine? my props to cora for being solid all season...
Saturday, June 17, 2006
Best Porn Movies
Batman and Throbbin'
Forrest Hump
Filthy Lil' Pornabees
The Da Vinci Load
The Hunt for Pink October
Romancing the Bone
Yank My Noodle It's A Dandy
Some Like It Wet
2069: A Space Orgasm (featuring the immortal line, "Open my pod bay doors, Hal!" The sequel, "3069: The Year We Make Cuntact", wasn't as good.)
Cool Hand-Job Luke
Poonstruck
The French Tickler Connection
Five Easy Pieces (they didn't even have to change the title!)
Rambone
Splatman
Orgazmo
Weapons of Ass Destruction (WADs)
Hung WANKENSTEIN
Sperms of Endearment
Yo Quiero Taco Smell
Grand Theft Anal
from my homies at Canestime
Forrest Hump
Filthy Lil' Pornabees
The Da Vinci Load
The Hunt for Pink October
Romancing the Bone
Yank My Noodle It's A Dandy
Some Like It Wet
2069: A Space Orgasm (featuring the immortal line, "Open my pod bay doors, Hal!" The sequel, "3069: The Year We Make Cuntact", wasn't as good.)
Cool Hand-Job Luke
Poonstruck
The French Tickler Connection
Five Easy Pieces (they didn't even have to change the title!)
Rambone
Splatman
Orgazmo
Weapons of Ass Destruction (WADs)
Hung WANKENSTEIN
Sperms of Endearment
Yo Quiero Taco Smell
Grand Theft Anal
from my homies at Canestime
Thursday, June 15, 2006
In desperate need of a third starter, Theo calls Marlins GM Larry Beinfest asking about Dontrelle Willis
Theo: (*hits up Larry Beinfest on speed dial*)
(*ring*, *ring*)
Beinfest: (*looks at caller ID*)
Beinfest: (*picks up phone*) Yo, Theo! Why am I not shocked to be hearing from you?
Theo: I don't know, why aren't you?
Beinfest: Uh, Theo, that was a rhetorical question.
Theo: (*long pause*) Uh, yeah, I knew that.
Beinfest: Anyway, you interested in stealing some more of my players...I mean making a trade?
Theo: Yeah Larry. We're interested in Dontrelle.
Beinfest: He's off the market.
Theo: (under breath) I heard that one before. (/under breath)
Beinfest: What was that?
Theo: Oh, nothing.
Beinfest: We have no interest in trading Dontrelle.
(under breath) Geez isn't Beckett enough? Fuck take Josh Johnson and Scott Olsen while you're at it. (/under breath)
Theo: No, obviously Beckett is not enough otherwise I wouldn't be calling you again.
Beinfest: Geez Theo, can't you let us enjoy the few players we have left
worth a wet turd in peace?
Theo: Sorry, can't do that. In case you haven't noticed, we're trying to beat the Yankees here. Unlike you we're actually *trying* to win.
Beinfest: Hey go fuck yourself you Cooch guitar playing wannabee!
Theo: Look, this is gay. Just tell me what you'd want for Dontrelle if he were on the market.
Beinfest: Well, Jon Lester is a good starting point.
Theo: Okay, who else?
Beinfest: And Hansen.
Theo: (under breath) shit (/under breath)
Beinfest: I'm sorry?
Theo: (disgusted) Lester and Hansen? (/disgusted)
Beinfest: Yup
Theo: You gotta be fucking shitting me
Beinfest: Dude, we're not gonna just *give* a 20 game winner who was second in the Cy Young voting last year and is just 23 years old making shiznit for a salary...away for free.
Theo: (*sigh*) Fine, let me sleep on it, ok?
Beinfest: Do what chu gotta do, Epstine (the "stine" pronounced like "wine")
Theo: Peace out Larry
Beinfest: Hey, thanks for Hanley!!!
Beinfest: (*click*)
Theo: (under breath) motherfucker... (/underbreath)
Theo: (*click*)
(*ring*, *ring*)
Beinfest: (*looks at caller ID*)
Beinfest: (*picks up phone*) Yo, Theo! Why am I not shocked to be hearing from you?
Theo: I don't know, why aren't you?
Beinfest: Uh, Theo, that was a rhetorical question.
Theo: (*long pause*) Uh, yeah, I knew that.
Beinfest: Anyway, you interested in stealing some more of my players...I mean making a trade?
Theo: Yeah Larry. We're interested in Dontrelle.
Beinfest: He's off the market.
Theo: (under breath) I heard that one before. (/under breath)
Beinfest: What was that?
Theo: Oh, nothing.
Beinfest: We have no interest in trading Dontrelle.
(under breath) Geez isn't Beckett enough? Fuck take Josh Johnson and Scott Olsen while you're at it. (/under breath)
Theo: No, obviously Beckett is not enough otherwise I wouldn't be calling you again.
Beinfest: Geez Theo, can't you let us enjoy the few players we have left
worth a wet turd in peace?
Theo: Sorry, can't do that. In case you haven't noticed, we're trying to beat the Yankees here. Unlike you we're actually *trying* to win.
Beinfest: Hey go fuck yourself you Cooch guitar playing wannabee!
Theo: Look, this is gay. Just tell me what you'd want for Dontrelle if he were on the market.
Beinfest: Well, Jon Lester is a good starting point.
Theo: Okay, who else?
Beinfest: And Hansen.
Theo: (under breath) shit (/under breath)
Beinfest: I'm sorry?
Theo: (disgusted) Lester and Hansen? (/disgusted)
Beinfest: Yup
Theo: You gotta be fucking shitting me
Beinfest: Dude, we're not gonna just *give* a 20 game winner who was second in the Cy Young voting last year and is just 23 years old making shiznit for a salary...away for free.
Theo: (*sigh*) Fine, let me sleep on it, ok?
Beinfest: Do what chu gotta do, Epstine (the "stine" pronounced like "wine")
Theo: Peace out Larry
Beinfest: Hey, thanks for Hanley!!!
Beinfest: (*click*)
Theo: (under breath) motherfucker... (/underbreath)
Theo: (*click*)
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Monday, May 29, 2006
RIP Ironhead
One of the first things I thought of upon hearing the news of his death was his Zest body wash commercial from the late 90's. Here's one dude's funny attempt at re-creating it:
Sunday, May 28, 2006
Trivia...
Dontrelle Willis is 1-6 in 11 starts this season after winning 22 games in 2005. Only three pitchers in the divisional-play era (1969 to date) won no more than one of their first 11 starts in a season after winning 20 or more games the year before: Jim Merritt, who was 20-12 for the Reds in 1970 but 0-9 in his first 11 starts in 1971; Mike Krukow, who was 20-9 for the Giants in 1986, then 1-5 in his first 11 starts in 1987; and Jose Lima, who was 21-10 for Houston in 1999 and 1-7 in his first 11 starts in 2000.
---
The Tigers beat the Indians 3-1 for their 15th win in their last 16 games. The Tigers won 15 times over a 16-game stretch in only two other seasons: 1911 and 1984.
---
The Tigers beat the Indians 3-1 for their 15th win in their last 16 games. The Tigers won 15 times over a 16-game stretch in only two other seasons: 1911 and 1984.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
the sox' best defensive team, ever?
BY THE NUMBERS: 12 -- Boston's total number of errors through 38 games, fewest in the majors. It is the fewest number of errors the Red Sox made through 38 games since 1960, the first year defensive statistics were tracked game-by-game.
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Baseball player traded for Beer
05/01/2006 Schaumburg Assigned the contract of RHP Nigel Thatch (Rookie) to Fullerton of the Golden Baseball League in exchange for 1 pallet (60 cases) of Budweiser beer.
And to think we used to joke about these hypothetical trades
And to think we used to joke about these hypothetical trades
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Wednesday, April 19, 2006
Papelbon on pace for 81 saves...
When's the last time a Sox closer had 7 saves this early in the season?
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Tuesday, April 04, 2006
I Don't Heart Huckaby
With 3 past balls in his first game catching Wakefield, Josh Bard really didn't impress anyone. In fact, I wonder how long it would take the Sox to recall Ken Huckaby for "Wakefield-duties." It's one thing if Bard could actually contribute some offense, but his .237 lifetime BA and .288 career OBP says otherwise (157 games over 4 seasons). Unfortunately, Huckaby's numbers are worse (.223/.256 in 153 games).
The impact of Mirabelli's absence won't be known until the end of the season, but the most past balls Mirabelli let up in a season (40+ games started) was 15. Bard might hit that by mid-May.
I heart Mirabelli.
The impact of Mirabelli's absence won't be known until the end of the season, but the most past balls Mirabelli let up in a season (40+ games started) was 15. Bard might hit that by mid-May.
I heart Mirabelli.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Red Sox '06 Opening Day:
Sox vs. Rangers at Ameriquest Field in Arlington
Trivia: When's the last time the Red Sox opened the season at home?
Red Sox '05 Opening Day Lineup:
--------------------------------------
Johnny Damon, CF
Edgar Renteria, SS
Manny Ramirez, LF
David Ortiz, DH
Kevin Millar, 1B
Jason Varitek, C
Jay Payton, RF
Bill Mueller, 3B
Mark Bellhorn, 2B
David Wells, SP
Red Sox '06 Opening Day Lineup:
--------------------------------------
Covelli "Coco" Crisp, CF
Mark Loretta, 2B
Manny Ramirez, LF
David Ortiz, DH
Trot Nixon, RF
Jason Varitek, C
Mike Lowell, 3B
Kevin Youkilis, 1B
Alex Gonzalez, SS
Curt Schilling, SP
Red Sox '05 Opening Day Lineup:
--------------------------------------
Johnny Damon, CF
Edgar Renteria, SS
Manny Ramirez, LF
David Ortiz, DH
Kevin Millar, 1B
Jason Varitek, C
Jay Payton, RF
Bill Mueller, 3B
Mark Bellhorn, 2B
David Wells, SP
Red Sox '06 Opening Day Lineup:
--------------------------------------
Covelli "Coco" Crisp, CF
Mark Loretta, 2B
Manny Ramirez, LF
David Ortiz, DH
Trot Nixon, RF
Jason Varitek, C
Mike Lowell, 3B
Kevin Youkilis, 1B
Alex Gonzalez, SS
Curt Schilling, SP
Friday, March 31, 2006
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Tavarez packs a mean right hook... for a pitcher.
One thing you can't deny - Julian Tavarez isn't afraid to throw a right hook, whether it's to the clubhouse phone or to a charging Joey Gathright. Tavarez looked a wee bit like a young Ray "Boom Boom" Mancini as he unloaded on Gathright in March 27th's game against the Devil Rays.
From the Boston Herald:
“It’s the kind of person I am,” said Tavarez, who signed a two-year, $6.7-million contract on Jan. 18...
[On a play at home plate] Tavarez stepped on Gathright’s right forearm and the runner reacted with a shout while pushing the pitcher’s leg off. As he sprang to his feet, however, Tavarez threw a punch that glanced off Gathright’s chin, setting off the melee.
Tavarez then shoved his glove in Gathright’s face and threw another punch that glanced off the top of his head.
[full story]
For those scoring at home (unofficial boxing results):
Tavarez: 3
Gathright: 0
From the Boston Herald:“It’s the kind of person I am,” said Tavarez, who signed a two-year, $6.7-million contract on Jan. 18...
[On a play at home plate] Tavarez stepped on Gathright’s right forearm and the runner reacted with a shout while pushing the pitcher’s leg off. As he sprang to his feet, however, Tavarez threw a punch that glanced off Gathright’s chin, setting off the melee.
[full story]
For those scoring at home (unofficial boxing results):
Tavarez: 3
Gathright: 0
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Back from Detroit
Here are a couple pics from the Heat/Pistons game on Wednesday 3/22. I'll try to add more as time goes by...
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Trot Nixon next Sox casualty?
With the recent push of outfielder acquisitions, we'd have to assume that the Sox are making moves to rid themselves of the oft-injured Trot Nixon?
Monday, March 20, 2006
So much for hometown discounts...
Poor Arroyo.
Guy absolutely loved Boston. He could have signed with another team for more money as a free agent this offseason, but instead, took a hometown discount to stay with the Red Sox. Then he gets raked in spring training and subsequently chewed out by Cooch in the blog. And how does he gets rewarded? By the Red Sox shipping his ass out of town. Guess it's safe to say there won't be any hometown discounts to stay in Boston anytime soon. Ouch! When they say baseball is a "business", they ain't lying.
Red Sox Acquire Wily Mo Pena from the Reds for Bronson Arroyo
Guy absolutely loved Boston. He could have signed with another team for more money as a free agent this offseason, but instead, took a hometown discount to stay with the Red Sox. Then he gets raked in spring training and subsequently chewed out by Cooch in the blog. And how does he gets rewarded? By the Red Sox shipping his ass out of town. Guess it's safe to say there won't be any hometown discounts to stay in Boston anytime soon. Ouch! When they say baseball is a "business", they ain't lying.
Red Sox Acquire Wily Mo Pena from the Reds for Bronson Arroyo
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Arroyo in midseason form...
Arroyo's getting battered in spring training (no pun intended). Terrible's not really the right word to describe his pitching performances so far. After his third straight horrendous outing, Arroyo reflected, "I guess I was missing the location."
If Washington state were the location, Arroyo's in fucking Iraq.
story
If Washington state were the location, Arroyo's in fucking Iraq.
story
Friday, March 10, 2006
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Lavinius' text message exchange w/ girlfriend...
(from 3/8/06 before Lavinius went up to Jupiter, FL to take in a Red Sox/Marlins spring training game...)
Leslie: Hey! Another super busy day and I am exhausted already! Have fun in Mars! ;) 143
Lavinius: I'd have much more fun in Uranus. :)
Leslie: Oh u are bad! I love u :)
Leslie: Hey! Another super busy day and I am exhausted already! Have fun in Mars! ;) 143
Lavinius: I'd have much more fun in Uranus. :)
Leslie: Oh u are bad! I love u :)
Monday, March 06, 2006
Friday, March 03, 2006
Why You Shouldn't Use Your Cell in a Public Bathroom
Copied from another website. This is fucking gross...
All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over 48 hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of ass cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for the wife. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 1 through 5 for your convenience:
1. Occupied.
2. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.
3. isht smeared on seat.
4. isht salad and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.
5. No toilet paper, no stall door, something growing near base of toilet.
Clearly, it had to be Stall #2. I trudged back, entered, dropped the trousers and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.
I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the ch4f's salady day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My ass let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.
Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.
Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:
(1) The next-door conversation had ceased;
(2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and
(3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.
It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.
"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"
Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride.
Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up...in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids...love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.
Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My isht-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.
There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.
As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.
I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my shamefulness to my anonymous isht-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to isht in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in a bathroom. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.
P.S. No this isn't me. I don't think I could be so articulate about my bowel movements. Thanks to Dave for this post on his Xanga.
All in all, it hadn't been a good day. Bad traffic, a malfunctioning computer, incompetent coworkers and a sore back all made me a seething cauldron of rage. But more importantly for this story, it had been over 48 hours since I'd last taken a dump. I'd tried to jumpstart the process, beginning my day with a bowl of ass cleansing fiber cereal, following it with six cups of coffee at work, and adding a bean-laden lunch at Taco Bell. As I was returning home from work, my insides let me know with subtle rumbles and the emission of the occasional tiny fart that Big Things would be happening soon. Alas, I had to stop at the mall to pick up an order for the wife. I completed this task, and as I was walking past the stores on my way back to the car, I noticed a large sale sign proclaiming, "Everything Must Go!" This was prophetic, for my colon informed me with a sudden violent cramp and a wet, squeaky fart that everything was indeed about to go. I hurried to the mall bathrooms. I surveyed the five stalls, which I have numbered 1 through 5 for your convenience:
1. Occupied.
2. Clean, but Bathroom Protocol forbids its use, as it's next to the occupied one.
3. isht smeared on seat.
4. isht salad and toilet paper in bowl, unidentifiable liquid splattered on seat.
5. No toilet paper, no stall door, something growing near base of toilet.
Clearly, it had to be Stall #2. I trudged back, entered, dropped the trousers and sat down. I'm normally a fairly Shameful Shitter. I wasn't happy about being next to the occupied stall, but Big Things were afoot.
I was just getting ready to bear down when all of a sudden the sweet sounds of Beethoven came from next door, followed by a fumbling, and then the sound of a voice answering the ringing phone. As usual for a cell phone conversation, the voice was exactly 8 dB louder than it needed to be. Out of shameful habit, my sphincter slammed shut. The inane conversation went on and on. Mr. Shitter was blathering to Mrs. Shitter about the ch4f's salady day he had. I sat there, cramping and miserable, waiting for him to finish. As the loud conversation dragged on, I became angrier and angrier, thinking that I, too, had a crappy day, but I was too polite to yak about in public. My ass let me know in no uncertain terms that if I didn't get crapping soon, my day would be getting even crappier.
Finally my anger reached a point that overcame Shamefulness. I no longer cared. I gripped the toilet paper holder with one hand, braced my other hand against the side of the stall, and pushed with all my might. I was rewarded with a fart of colossal magnitude -- a cross between the sound of someone ripping a very wet bed sheet in half and of plywood being torn off a wall. The sound gradually transitioned into a heavily modulated low-RPM tone, not unlike someone firing up a Harley. I managed to hit the resonance frequency of the stall, and it shook gently.
Once my ass cheeks stopped flapping in the breeze, three things became apparent:
(1) The next-door conversation had ceased;
(2) my colon's continued seizing indicated that there was more to come; and
(3) the bathroom was now beset by a horrible, eldritch stench.
It was as if a gateway to Hell had been opened. The foul miasma quickly made its way under the stall and began choking my poop-mate. This initial "herald" fart had ended his conversation in mid-sentence.
"Oh my God," I heard him utter, following it with suppressed sounds of choking, and then, "No, baby, that wasn't me (cough, gag), you could hear that (gag)??"
Now there was no stopping me. I pushed for all I was worth. I could swear that in the resulting cacophony of rips, squirts, splashes, poots, and blasts, I was actually lifted slightly off the pot. The amount of stuff in me was incredible. It sprayed against the bowl with tremendous force. Later, in surveying the damage, I'd see that liquid poop had actually managed to ricochet out of the bowl and run down the side on to the floor. But for now, all I could do was hang on for the ride.
Next door I could hear him fumbling with the paper dispenser as he desperately tried to finish his task. Little snatches of conversation made themselves heard over my anal symphony: "Gotta go... horrible... throw up...in my mouth... not... make it... tell the kids...love them... oh God..." followed by more sounds of suppressed gagging and retching.
Alas, it is evidently difficult to hold one's phone and wipe one's bum at the same time. Just as my high-pressure abuse of the toilet was winding down, I heard a plop and splash from next door, followed by string of swear words and gags. My isht-mate had dropped his phone into the toilet.
There was a lull in my production, and the restroom became deathly quiet. I could envision him standing there, wondering what to do. A final anal announcement came trumpeting from my behind, small chunks plopping noisily into the water. That must have been the last straw. I heard a flush, a fumbling with the lock, and then the stall door was thrown open. I heard him running out of the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.
After a considerable amount of paperwork, I got up and surveyed the damage. I felt bad for the janitor who'd be forced to deal with this, but I knew that flushing was not an option. No toilet in the world could handle that unholy mess. Flushing would only lead to a floor flooded with filth.
As I left, I glanced into the next-door stall. Nothing remained in the bowl. Had he flushed his phone, or had he plucked it out and left the bathroom with nasty unwashed hands? The world will never know.
I exited the bathroom, momentarily proud and shameless, looking around for a face glaring at me. But I saw no one. I suspect that somehow my supernatural elimination has managed to transfer my shamefulness to my anonymous isht-mate. I think it'll be a long time before he can bring himself to isht in public -- and I doubt he'll ever again answer his cell phone in a bathroom. And this, my friends, is why you should never talk on your phone in the bathroom.
P.S. No this isn't me. I don't think I could be so articulate about my bowel movements. Thanks to Dave for this post on his Xanga.
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Friday, February 17, 2006
Dan Le Batard on the Chuck Norris Show...
...I mean, Chuck Norris on the Dan Le Batard show. ;)
"Chuck Norris pushes the earth down when doing push-ups."
"If you put in 'Chuck Norris' for every answer on the SAT, you'd get a perfect score."
"When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor slapped the baby, and HE cried."
Funny isht...
Chuck Norris on 790 the Ticket in Miami
"Chuck Norris pushes the earth down when doing push-ups."
"If you put in 'Chuck Norris' for every answer on the SAT, you'd get a perfect score."
"When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor slapped the baby, and HE cried."
Funny isht...
Chuck Norris on 790 the Ticket in Miami
Sunday, February 12, 2006
The Rock Star Lifestyle...
That's right, folks -- after a rock gig, you never know what your fans might request. However, this roadie got her wish as Thick signed one of her precious parts...
Monday, February 06, 2006
Lavinius @ Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, FL
I recently attended a National Signing Day party on Wednesday, February 1st at the Seminole Hard Rock Casino in Hollywood, FL. A bunch of us Canes fans congregated at The Park Sports Club for top notch food, drinks, and convo.
Attached is a pic from the event. I am the one in the white shirt.
Tuesday, January 31, 2006
Detroit Pistons winning streaks this season
I was gonna post this earlier, but I purposely waited till the latest Pistons winning streak came to an end.
8 (Nov. 2- Nov. 18)
6 (Nov. 26- Dec. 11)
9 (Dec. 14- Dec. 29)
11 (Jan. 10- Jan. 31)
8 (Nov. 2- Nov. 18)
6 (Nov. 26- Dec. 11)
9 (Dec. 14- Dec. 29)
11 (Jan. 10- Jan. 31)
Saturday, January 28, 2006
Friday, January 20, 2006
What Would You Do for a Lifetime Ticket to Baseball?
Would you be an Iranian hostage tied up and blindfolded for the better part of 14 months while being subject to beatdowns and mental anguish each day, not knowing whether you were going to live or die?
Safe at Home
25 Years Ago, a Gift From Major League Baseball Helped Iran Hostages Reconnect With America
By Les Carpenter
Washington Post Staff Writer
Friday, January 20, 2006; A01
It was a small thing really, barely bigger than a credit card, tucked unpretentiously in a small black case. For each of the 52 American hostages who bounded off the plane, free at last, the ticket stuffed inside the box was another of the trinkets that piled up around them. A modest reward for the cold, metal muzzle of a shotgun pressed against their faces.
For 444 days they had been tied and blindfolded, held hostage in the U.S. Embassy in Iran by student revolutionaries incensed at the United States' decision to admit Iran's ailing and deposed shah, Mohammad Reza Pahlavi, for medical treatment. Long before 9/11, Afghanistan and Iraq, there were the Iran hostages. Their plight paralyzed a country unaccustomed to such an affront and likely cost President Jimmy Carter reelection in 1980. Then, 25 years ago today, they were released the moment Ronald Reagan took the oath of office.
They returned to an adoring nation that gave them a ticker-tape parade and welcomed them as heroes. They were besieged with flags, yellow ribbons and countless gifts, among them the tiny box from Major League Baseball. Inside was a lifetime pass to any major or minor league game.
What each did with the pass says something about the group of 52 diplomats and military personnel. Some embraced it, using it often. Others tucked it away, rarely, if ever, pulling it out. The response was as varied as the ways they approached their notoriety and fame, back then and in the quarter-century that has passed, a quarter-century that has seen the number of living former hostages dwindle to 42.
Rocky Sickmann, a Marine guard from outside St. Louis, immediately put his in a safety deposit box. Bruce Laingen, the embassy's charge d'affaires, would later gush about the pass: "Not many people have that!" Steve Kirtley, another Marine guard who now lives in McLean, used it last June to take his two youngest sons to a Nationals game.
In the case of Barry Rosen, the embassy's press attache from New York, the little gold card helped to heal his family.
He stepped off the plane at Stewart International Airport in Newburgh, N.Y., on Jan. 25 gaunt, weary and a disheveled mess. He scanned the crowd and found his wife, Barbara, "looking as beautiful as ever." Beside her stood their son, Alexander, dressed in a suit and their little girl, Ariana, an infant when he had left more than two years before, in a red coat and a matching red dress.
"The movie should have ended right there," Rosen said with a laugh.
But the hero to America was a mystery to his family. Alexander, just 2 1/2 when Rosen left for Iran, had only vague recollections of his father; Ariana didn't know him at all. His return was an intrusion.
"My children were very fearful of me," Rosen recalled. "It wasn't that I was an ogre, they didn't know who the hell I was. They were with their mother all the time and then this strange man walked in the house. I couldn't take them out of the house. They wouldn't go anywhere with me."
Then the baseball pass arrived. Rosen grew up in Brooklyn a Dodgers fan and loved National League baseball. Maybe his kids would, too. "If it's a way of bringing us together, let's use it," he remembered Barbara saying.
Their first game, at Shea Stadium in New York, was so wonderful, he couldn't have drawn it better himself. The sky was clear, the sun sparkled on the grass. They arrived early to watch batting practice and then didn't want to leave.
"They had never, never been to a baseball game," he said. "You see a baseball field for the first time and it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. I got Alexander a glove, I got the kids hats. My little girl was squirming all over the place. But we were all together and that was the important thing."
For the next several years, the family fractured by the Ayatollah Ruhollah Khomeini, Iran's revolutionary leader, went to baseball games together, often as many as 10 times a season. The ritual was always the same, as soon as the coming year's Mets schedule came out, Alexander and Barry picked the games they wanted to see. Then Barry called the Mets and the tickets would be waiting.
"It really cemented my family," said Rosen, who now runs Columbia University's Afghanistan Education Project. "Even now, my son is going to be 30 and we still go to games. It's a way to connect."
* * *
In the days after they came home, the gifts started arriving. It began with a rush of American flags, attached with overwrought missives insisting the flag had flown for 444 days over the sender's home and how they wanted the hostage to have this memento. "A lot of them looked like they had just been sewed," Laingen said.
But it was more than just flags. Soon, some or all began receiving an eclectic collection of presents -- a new Electrolux vacuum cleaner ("the really good one" recalled William Belk, an embassy communications and records officer), a Ducane grill, the promise of a new pair of jeans every year, free rentals from Budget Rent-a-car in Detroit, free dinners, trips to Mardi Gras, trips to Hawaii, trips to Puerto Rico.
There seemed no end to the glut of handouts.
It's hard to pinpoint the worst moment of the 444 days, but the mock executions seem a good place to start. For several days in late January and early February of 1980, the captors showed revolutionary films to the hostages, gory movies with scenes that always ended the same way: with a supposed enemy being tortured and shot.
Then, one morning, about a week later, Sickmann remembers being jostled awake at 2 a.m. by men wearing masks, just like the executioners in the revolutionary films. Sickmann was pulled out of bed and dragged by his hair to a hallway outside where, he said, the other hostages were lined up against the wall. His heart dropped.
"You thought instantly that there had been a military rescue and they're going to shoot us," he said. "You want to be tough in that situation, but everything changes. You lose body fluids. Some were praying, some were cursing left and right."
They took Sickmann into a room and told him to strip -- an act of shame in Islamic culture. His mind flew back to the films. There were three men with rifles and he was certain this was the end. They told him to turn around and put his arms in the air, then they blindfolded him, which in the films was the final act before the killing.
He braced himself and waited for the bullet to crash into his skull.
Only it never came. After a few minutes the guards told him to put on his clothes and go back to his room.
And while shots weren't fired, something died in him, in each of them that night.
"How does someone ever forget that?" Sickmann, now the director of military sales for Anheuser-Busch in St. Louis, said all these years later. "Life was uncertain after that. You didn't know if you would live or die."
* * *
In the garage of his home outside Jacksonville, Fla., Alan Golacinski, an embassy security officer, keeps three boxes of things that were sent to him after his return from Iran. In the containers are football jerseys, sports memorabilia and letters. He hasn't opened them in years. His wife keeps after him about throwing away the cartons and one of these days he is sure he will.
"I don't want to sound ungrateful," he said. "I just don't remember all" the gifts.
But still they kept coming: a box of Idaho potatoes, tickets to a Broadway show, a VCR back when VCRs were cutting-edge technology.
Another Marine guard, Kevin Hermening, was given a scholarship to the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, though he later turned down the offer to study journalism at UW-Oshkosh. The Ducane grill he received was stolen off his porch several years ago.
What is the reward for suffering? Baseball commissioner Bowie Kuhn discussed the topic one day in the middle of the hostage crisis with Jeremiah Denton, a Navy admiral who had been held captive in Vietnam and later became a senator from Alabama, as they sat at a baseball game in Cincinnati. Sometime that afternoon, Kuhn is convinced, the idea of a lifetime baseball pass was discussed, though he can't remember the actual conversation. What he does know is that the gift is unique.
"You know, I'd be hard-pressed to tell you that we gave out passes to anyone other than them," Kuhn, who retired in 1984, said recently.
Charles Scott, an Army colonel who was the embassy military attache, often found himself face-to-face at Atlanta Braves games with the man most responsible for his captivity and ultimately his release -- Jimmy Carter. To this day, Scott, now a public speaker, can't forgive the former president for allowing the shah into the country.
Still, whenever he would run into Carter, he'd eschew the traditional handshake and bury the former president in a giant hug.
Many years ago, Scott offered the Carter Library several boxes of letters he received in the days after his return, but when the library told him he would have to catalogue each envelope, he took the package to the back of his yard and burned it.
"Life does go on," he said.
Hermening, the youngest hostage who celebrated his 21st birthday in captivity, came home to the Milwaukee area and immediately into the best years of the Brewers. He loved going to the games in those days. So much so that he and his wife drove from Milwaukee to Baltimore the last weekend of the 1982 season for a showdown that would determine the winner of the American League East.
Belk settled in Bellingham, Wash., not far from the Canadian border and fell in love with the local minor league team, going to games on a regular basis. He brought the pass when he traveled, watching games in Seattle, Baltimore and Los Angeles.
He now has a home in Georgia. "In fact, from here I'll probably go down to Atlanta quite a bit; I can use it there," he said.
Laingen, who lives in Bethesda, used it to go to Orioles games but gave up after the franchise seemed to spiral into disarray. Embassy political officer John Limbert, who grew up watching the Washington Senators in Griffith Stadium, used the pass in Baltimore as well, but he lost interest.
Like many of his colleagues, he got busy and fell into work, in Limbert's case as president of the American Foreign Service Association, the union that represents active and retired foreign service officers. He held the post until last year.
* * *
In Marin County north of San Francisco, an Iranian immigrant and oriental rug dealer named Taghi Rezaian made a public declaration: He would give each hostage a $1,000 oriental rug. All they had to do was call.
"I wanted to welcome them back," Rezaian said. "I'm Persian by birth but by choice I'm American. I'm a proud American."
The hostage crisis had not been good for Rezaian or his business. Several times people threw rocks through his window. The first few times he called the police but after the police reports of the attacks on his store started to appear in the papers, he stopped calling.
"I wanted to tell everyone that I'm an American no matter how long I've been an American citizen and a taxpayer," he said.
When asked how many hostages had taken him up on his offer, Rezaian said he thinks 48 or 49 eventually got rugs. However, none of the 10 hostages reached for this story said he took one of Rezaian's carpets.
When he first returned from Iran, Kirtley went to baseball games all the time. He was a Marine drill instructor stationed in San Diego. Sometimes in the evenings, he'd drive over to where the Padres played, flashed the pass and spent the rest of the night sitting in the bleachers.
"I used it to just go down and watch the San Diego Chicken," he said.
But eventually life took over. He became a father and moved to a new, stable life in McLean, working as an information technology consultant. He turned out to be more of a football fan than baseball, but it was hard not to notice the new baseball team that came to Washington last year.
Only Kirtley didn't know how to go about using the card at the Nationals games.
"It took me literally weeks of research," he said. Finally he stumbled across a site for the D.C. Sports and Entertainment Commission. He called and the woman who answered told him to just come to the game. So one night last June, Kirtley brought his two youngest sons to Robert F. Kennedy Memorial Stadium. They showed up early to the main gate only to discover the ticket takers had no idea who he was or why he had this strange pass. Some calls were made and suddenly the woman he had talked to on the phone came racing up shouting, "Mr. Kirtley! Mr. Kirtley!"
She led them inside and brought them to a section of seats 12 rows from the field, just to the third base side of the Nationals' dugout. But the woman didn't leave; instead she walked to the bottom of the section, spoke to a security guard and then waved Kirtley's two boys down, giving them seats in the front row right next to the dugout. About 15 minutes later, the guard came up to Kirtley and said, "You can go down too."
"It was amazing," Kirtley said. "But the thing that was too bad is I don't think my kids knew what a big deal it was. I did know but it was their first game, they didn't know that this didn't normally happen."
After all, how many fathers get a lifetime ticket to baseball?
Thursday, January 19, 2006
On this day in 1977...
it snowed in Miami. I shit you not.
----
The coldest recorded temperature in the city of Miami was 27 °F (-2.8 °C) on February 3, 1917, though the coldest temperature ever recorded in the metropolitan area was 20 °F (-6.6 °C) near Homestead, Florida, on January 19, 1977. That same day, Miami experienced its first and only recorded snowfall since weather records began in the 1830s.
linkypoo
----
The coldest recorded temperature in the city of Miami was 27 °F (-2.8 °C) on February 3, 1917, though the coldest temperature ever recorded in the metropolitan area was 20 °F (-6.6 °C) near Homestead, Florida, on January 19, 1977. That same day, Miami experienced its first and only recorded snowfall since weather records began in the 1830s.
linkypoo
Wednesday, January 18, 2006
Peyton Manning is a Loser
Divisional Playoffs: January 15, 2006
PITTSBURGH 21, INDIANAPOLIS 18
When the camera zoomed in on Peyton Manning's face after Vanderjagt missed a potential game-tying field goal with only 21 seconds left against the Steelers on Sunday, you could see Peyton mutter with a half-grimace/half-grin, "He missed it." Vanderjagt’s missed field goal ensured that Peyton will continue to carry the dubious label, “can’t win a big game.”
The game wasn’t as close as the final score indicated – the referee even tried to help the Colts by inexplicably overturning an obvious interception by Pittsburgh Safety Troy Polamalu with 6 minutes left in the 4th quarter (the league later admitted that it was clearly the wrong call; I would dare say that it was the worst call ever made in the NFL “instant replay era,” and it would not shock me to learn that the referee had portions of his salary riding on Indy at his local sportsbook.)
Despite the bye week, home field advantage, and huge help from referee Pete Morelli, Manning somehow ended up losing another postseason game that he should have won; the Colts were 10-point favorites over the Steelers – the kicking game should have been a non-factor if Peyton took care of business the way he should have. Indy was a team that started 13-0 and had many folks talking “undefeated season.” They were a lock to make it to the Super Bowl and even-money to win it all. With the shocking loss to Pittsburgh, Manning’s postseason record drops to a pitiful 3-5.
Even if Vanderjagt had made the 46-yard field goal to tie the score against the Steelers, history indicates that Peyton would have eventually lost the game anyway. Despite the impressive regular season statistics Manning generates each year, the end result is always the same – he ends each season watching the big game from his living room, just like you and me.
PITTSBURGH 21, INDIANAPOLIS 18
When the camera zoomed in on Peyton Manning's face after Vanderjagt missed a potential game-tying field goal with only 21 seconds left against the Steelers on Sunday, you could see Peyton mutter with a half-grimace/half-grin, "He missed it." Vanderjagt’s missed field goal ensured that Peyton will continue to carry the dubious label, “can’t win a big game.”
The game wasn’t as close as the final score indicated – the referee even tried to help the Colts by inexplicably overturning an obvious interception by Pittsburgh Safety Troy Polamalu with 6 minutes left in the 4th quarter (the league later admitted that it was clearly the wrong call; I would dare say that it was the worst call ever made in the NFL “instant replay era,” and it would not shock me to learn that the referee had portions of his salary riding on Indy at his local sportsbook.)
Despite the bye week, home field advantage, and huge help from referee Pete Morelli, Manning somehow ended up losing another postseason game that he should have won; the Colts were 10-point favorites over the Steelers – the kicking game should have been a non-factor if Peyton took care of business the way he should have. Indy was a team that started 13-0 and had many folks talking “undefeated season.” They were a lock to make it to the Super Bowl and even-money to win it all. With the shocking loss to Pittsburgh, Manning’s postseason record drops to a pitiful 3-5.
Even if Vanderjagt had made the 46-yard field goal to tie the score against the Steelers, history indicates that Peyton would have eventually lost the game anyway. Despite the impressive regular season statistics Manning generates each year, the end result is always the same – he ends each season watching the big game from his living room, just like you and me.
Monday, January 09, 2006
Good Thing We Legally Changed Our Names to Lavinius and Cooch...
By Declan McCullagh
URL: http://news.zdnet.com/2100-1009_22-6024695.html
Commentary--Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.
It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.
In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.
This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.
"The use of the word 'annoy' is particularly problematic," says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. "What's annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else."
Buried deep in the new law is Sec. 113, an innocuously titled bit called "Preventing Cyberstalking." It rewrites existing telephone harassment law to prohibit anyone from using the Internet "without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy."
To grease the rails for this idea, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, and the section's other sponsors slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice. The plan: to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure.
The tactic worked. The bill cleared the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16.
There's an interesting side note. An earlier version that the House approved in September had radically different wording. It was reasonable by comparison, and criminalized only using an "interactive computer service" to cause someone "substantial emotional harm."
That kind of prohibition might make sense. But why should merely annoying someone be illegal?
There are perfectly legitimate reasons to set up a Web site or write something incendiary without telling everyone exactly who you are.
Think about it: A woman fired by a manager who demanded sexual favors wants to blog about it without divulging her full name. An aspiring pundit hopes to set up the next Suck.com. A frustrated citizen wants to send e-mail describing corruption in local government without worrying about reprisals.
In each of those three cases, someone's probably going to be annoyed. That's enough to make the action a crime. (The Justice Department won't file charges in every case, of course, but trusting prosecutorial discretion is hardly reassuring.)
Clinton Fein, a San Francisco resident who runs the Annoy.com site, says a feature permitting visitors to send obnoxious and profane postcards through e-mail could be imperiled.
"Who decides what's annoying? That's the ultimate question," Fein said. He added: "If you send an annoying message via the United States Post Office, do you have to reveal your identity?"
Fein once sued to overturn part of the Communications Decency Act that outlawed transmitting indecent material "with intent to annoy." But the courts ruled the law applied only to obscene material, so Annoy.com didn't have to worry.
"I'm certainly not going to close the site down," Fein said on Friday. "I would fight it on First Amendment grounds."
He's right. Our esteemed politicians can't seem to grasp this simple point, but the First Amendment protects our right to write something that annoys someone else.
It even shields our right to do it anonymously. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas defended this principle magnificently in a 1995 case involving an Ohio woman who was punished for distributing anonymous political pamphlets.
If President Bush truly believed in the principle of limited government (it is in his official bio), he'd realize that the law he signed cannot be squared with the Constitution he swore to uphold.
And then he'd repeat what President Clinton did a decade ago when he felt compelled to sign a massive telecommunications law. Clinton realized that the section of the law punishing abortion-related material on the Internet was unconstitutional, and he directed the Justice Department not to enforce it.
Bush has the chance to show his respect for what he calls Americans' personal freedoms. Now we'll see if the president rises to the occasion.
URL: http://news.zdnet.com/2100-1009_22-6024695.html
Commentary--Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.
It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.
In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.
This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.
"The use of the word 'annoy' is particularly problematic," says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. "What's annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else."
Buried deep in the new law is Sec. 113, an innocuously titled bit called "Preventing Cyberstalking." It rewrites existing telephone harassment law to prohibit anyone from using the Internet "without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy."
To grease the rails for this idea, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, and the section's other sponsors slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice. The plan: to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure.
The tactic worked. The bill cleared the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16.
There's an interesting side note. An earlier version that the House approved in September had radically different wording. It was reasonable by comparison, and criminalized only using an "interactive computer service" to cause someone "substantial emotional harm."
That kind of prohibition might make sense. But why should merely annoying someone be illegal?
There are perfectly legitimate reasons to set up a Web site or write something incendiary without telling everyone exactly who you are.
Think about it: A woman fired by a manager who demanded sexual favors wants to blog about it without divulging her full name. An aspiring pundit hopes to set up the next Suck.com. A frustrated citizen wants to send e-mail describing corruption in local government without worrying about reprisals.
In each of those three cases, someone's probably going to be annoyed. That's enough to make the action a crime. (The Justice Department won't file charges in every case, of course, but trusting prosecutorial discretion is hardly reassuring.)
Clinton Fein, a San Francisco resident who runs the Annoy.com site, says a feature permitting visitors to send obnoxious and profane postcards through e-mail could be imperiled.
"Who decides what's annoying? That's the ultimate question," Fein said. He added: "If you send an annoying message via the United States Post Office, do you have to reveal your identity?"
Fein once sued to overturn part of the Communications Decency Act that outlawed transmitting indecent material "with intent to annoy." But the courts ruled the law applied only to obscene material, so Annoy.com didn't have to worry.
"I'm certainly not going to close the site down," Fein said on Friday. "I would fight it on First Amendment grounds."
He's right. Our esteemed politicians can't seem to grasp this simple point, but the First Amendment protects our right to write something that annoys someone else.
It even shields our right to do it anonymously. U.S. Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas defended this principle magnificently in a 1995 case involving an Ohio woman who was punished for distributing anonymous political pamphlets.
If President Bush truly believed in the principle of limited government (it is in his official bio), he'd realize that the law he signed cannot be squared with the Constitution he swore to uphold.
And then he'd repeat what President Clinton did a decade ago when he felt compelled to sign a massive telecommunications law. Clinton realized that the section of the law punishing abortion-related material on the Internet was unconstitutional, and he directed the Justice Department not to enforce it.
Bush has the chance to show his respect for what he calls Americans' personal freedoms. Now we'll see if the president rises to the occasion.
Sunday, January 08, 2006
Thursday, January 05, 2006
Top facts about Chuck Norris...
Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Chuck Norris counted to infinity - twice.
When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Chuck Norris once challenged Lance Armstrong in a "Who has more testicles?" contest. Chuck Norris won by 5.
Chuck Norris once ate three 72 oz. steaks in one hour. He spent the first 45 minutes having sex with his waitress.
Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his dad did.
Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell them there was a stripper in it.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
stolen from here
Size DOES matter...
"This may take a few minutes, if you have a large blog."
yes, folks. cooch's blog is so large, it took several days to republish it...
yes, folks. cooch's blog is so large, it took several days to republish it...
Bills aiming for a "fresh start" in Buffalo
Let's see, 87 year old owner Ralph Wilson is set to bring in 81 year old ex-Bills coach Marv Levy to be the new GM and assist in running football operations.
What next, Dick Clark for offensive coordinator? The Golden Girls as cheerleaders?
Let me guess, beer to be replaced with prune juice at the concession stands?
"Geritol- the official sponsor of the Buffalo Bills"
What kind of friggin "fresh start" is this?
What next, Dick Clark for offensive coordinator? The Golden Girls as cheerleaders?
Let me guess, beer to be replaced with prune juice at the concession stands?
"Geritol- the official sponsor of the Buffalo Bills"
What kind of friggin "fresh start" is this?
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
The crack in Baltimore must be realllllllly good...
Baltimore's latest demands...
Manny, Clement, cash, and an outfielder or young Sox arm (i.e., Papelbon or Lester) for Tejada.
Cooch replies, "What in the fuck are you guys smoking?"
Seriously, Manny and Cash for Tejada would be a decent deal. It's not like Tejada's a big on-base guy (career = .338). Add Clement and a little cash, okay, we're desperate to move Manny. Add an arm on top of that? Fuck you.
Manny, Clement, cash, and an outfielder or young Sox arm (i.e., Papelbon or Lester) for Tejada.
Cooch replies, "What in the fuck are you guys smoking?"
Seriously, Manny and Cash for Tejada would be a decent deal. It's not like Tejada's a big on-base guy (career = .338). Add Clement and a little cash, okay, we're desperate to move Manny. Add an arm on top of that? Fuck you.
Tuesday, January 03, 2006
Regarding the Orange Bowl...
cooch texts lavinius via cell: "lavinius, what's your take on penn state vs. florida state in tonight's game?"
lavinius: "i like state to win."
lavinius: "i like state to win."
Monday, January 02, 2006
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
