3-3 after a 1-2 week; luckily, my rare totals play covered the number. after getting verbally spanked by lav last week for playing road favs, i'm going to mix it up a bit ;) [note: thanks, lav!]
at the time of the play, bodog had the best lines on both games...
7 pt tease: SAN DIEGO +13, SAN FRANCISCO +10
first, i gotta think that both teams have a shot to win their games SU, so i nearly played them both at their normal lines. however, i'm gonna keep it light early on. now, i've learned my lesson betting against new england over the past four years, but i'll make an exception here with the big number. luckily, they pulled out a nice road win against the steelers, so they opened with a nice number this week. however, not only did they lose matt light and rodney harrison, but they also will be without kevin faulk. now, kevin faulk isn't a big-game name, but ask tom brady if he'll miss faulk blocking for him when he drops back to pass... i like the big number, and with a TD pad via the tease, SD is a solid play. as for san fran, i can't honestly admit that i like betting on them, but i can honestly say that i won't hesitate to bet against arizona. AZ will meet SF in mexico city, and without kurt warner, AZ turns to cade mcknown -- i mean josh mccown [is he kyle orton's brother-in-law or something?] -- to manage the offense. similar shitty defenses will be at play, but i'll take a big cushion against a shitty team and hope SF keeps it close, or - as i think they will - win this one SU.
Friday, September 30, 2005
Thursday, September 29, 2005
Stupid-Ass Red Sox Acquisition (Part Two!)...
Remember when the Sox dropped Jose Cruz, Jr. just 10 days after giving up two prospects to acquire him (dropped on Aug. 10)? It appears as though the Sox out-duped themselves, by giving up two more prospects to rent Mike Stanton for 4 games!!! (Give me a fucking break already!!!)
---
Red Sox get Stanton for final four games
Associated Press Posted: 55 minutes ago
BOSTON (AP) - The Red Sox acquired left-hander Mike Stanton from the Washington Nationals on Thursday for right-handers Rhys Taylor and Yader Peralta. Boston's trade means Stanton could wind up pitching this weekend against his former team, the New York Yankees. If the Red Sox advance to the playoffs, Stanton would not be eligible for the postseason roster.
Stanton, who is 38, started the season with the Yankees and was cut June 30 after going 1-2 with a 7.08 ERA in 14 innings over 28 relief appearances. He signed with Washington on July 13 and went 2-1 with a 3.58 ERA in 27 2-3 innings over 30 games.
"We'd like to thank Mike for the fine job he did not only in our bullpen, but with the knowledge and leadership he shared with our young pitchers," Nationals general manager Jim Bowden said. "We are pleased to acquire two young pitchers with good arms."
Taylor, 20, was 2-2 with a 1.49 ERA in five starts and six relief appearances for the Gulf Coast League Red Sox. Peralta, 19, combined to go 2-3 with four saves and a 4.57 ERA in 27 relief appearances for Greenville, Lowell and the Gulf Coast League Red Sox.
---
Red Sox get Stanton for final four games
Associated Press Posted: 55 minutes ago
BOSTON (AP) - The Red Sox acquired left-hander Mike Stanton from the Washington Nationals on Thursday for right-handers Rhys Taylor and Yader Peralta. Boston's trade means Stanton could wind up pitching this weekend against his former team, the New York Yankees. If the Red Sox advance to the playoffs, Stanton would not be eligible for the postseason roster.
Stanton, who is 38, started the season with the Yankees and was cut June 30 after going 1-2 with a 7.08 ERA in 14 innings over 28 relief appearances. He signed with Washington on July 13 and went 2-1 with a 3.58 ERA in 27 2-3 innings over 30 games.
"We'd like to thank Mike for the fine job he did not only in our bullpen, but with the knowledge and leadership he shared with our young pitchers," Nationals general manager Jim Bowden said. "We are pleased to acquire two young pitchers with good arms."
Taylor, 20, was 2-2 with a 1.49 ERA in five starts and six relief appearances for the Gulf Coast League Red Sox. Peralta, 19, combined to go 2-3 with four saves and a 4.57 ERA in 27 relief appearances for Greenville, Lowell and the Gulf Coast League Red Sox.
Monday, September 26, 2005
Dougie's Diary
Someone posted this at the Sons of Sam Horn. Supposed to be a diary of Doug Mirabelli, but I doubt heavily he authored the below. Nonetheless, I laughed my ass off.
The origin of this is in a password protected forum, so I can't link it, but here it is, cut and pasted:
----
This was forwarded in an email to me... sort of bizarre, yet fairly amusing nevertheless. This is Doug Mirabelli's July 30th.....:
12:05 am Order room service- charge it to Nomar 's room - tried to spell out garciaparra- finally just screamed charge it Nomar's room and make it quick.
12:20 Order third porn movie of the day
12:40 Filet Mignon with a side of chicken parm arrives
12:46 meal finished- calls back to room service- orders 2 piece of cheesecake charges it to Terry Francona's room
12:55 dessert arrives
12:57 dessert demolished- dougie strips down and take his pre bedtime swings naked in front of the mirror
1:30 can't sleep calls nomar's room and says in a spanish voice" this is omar minaya you have been traded to the Montreal expos- nomar cries- dougie calls him a @#%$ and tells him to go ice his pinky toe
1:45 calls derek lowe's room and tells him he has been traded to the pawtucket red sox
2:00 am can't sleep - goes skinny dipping in the hotel pool
3:00 am finally falls a sleep after killing it for the third time
today and another peice of cheesecake
9:55 wakes up- kills it- then takes a shower and shaves- leave one stripe down his chin-tells himself he is a stud who hits bombs
10:15 takes 30 hard cuts naked
10:20 gets dressed- tight jeans- cowboy boots and tanktop heads off to park
10:22 leaves note at front desk- please tell derek lowe and nomar to call john henry asap- leaves them a 900 number to call
11:00 arrives at ballpark- give dead leg to shilling and tells him to shut the @#%$ up for once
11:15 tells nomar he heard he is being traded to the expos for 3 pieces of @#%$ and some toilet paper
11:17 ask nomar if his @#%$ is still sore
11:18 steps on nomar's heel- tells him to quit being a @#%$
11:30 chest bumps wakefield
11:45 pulls shilling aside with a flying tackle and screams in his face- if you weren't such a loud mouth i would be catching Randy every 5th day instead of chasing knuckleballs to the backstop. tells he got rocked in new york and stop pitching like suck a @#%$- rips shilling wallet from his back
pocket and and takes his cash
12:00 tells derek lowe- what the @#%$ are you doing here- i thought we already traded your @#%$ weak ass sinker ball headcase @#%$ carcass-gives lowe a wedgie and farts in his face
12:15 screams out loud- "we trade nomar yet?"
12:45 orders chicken parm
1:25 finishes eating- heads out to bp
1:30 gets put in nomar bp group
1:42 throws nomar out of the cage
1:50 hits 13 of 20 pitches 400 feet foul- misses other 7
1:52 nomar gets back in cage- calls him and his wife gay- throws baseballs at nomar heels- hope he trips and hurts himself
1:55 reminds nomar that the sox dropped ther offer from 15 to 12 million-tells nomar they are having a party tonight when they trade him
2:15 takes 45 minutes nap- gets ready for deadline-dreams he hit game 7 dinger onto the mass pike- wakes up sees nomar and is pissed
3:15 announce to clubhouse- "nomar or @#%$ down lowe get traded yet ?"
3:45 bad mood takes over as it is the trading deadline and he sees nomar has not been traded
3:58 clubhouse closed to reporter- theo walks in- announes see ya @#%$-does a sack dance in nomar face
4:02 team notified of nomar's deal- leads chants in nanananana hey hey hey goodbye
4:10 bullshit do lowe not traded- tells him he is getting racked
tonight- stuffs him in his locker
4:15 high fives luccino and bear hugs theo- theo stunned
4:30 tells francona they should have trade Francona and schilling to Wilkes Barre-
4:33 francona runs away- dougie catches him and give him an atoimic wedgie- tells him to @#%$ bunt the runner along every now and then; francona runs and hides behind schilling.
4:45 makes plan for post game celebration nomar traded party at local nightspot
4:50 grabs schilling's wallet and takes out cash to pay for party
5:05 announces today is a good day-
Here is the second email I received on this "subject"... I have no idea who the original author is, so feel free to rip away.... I am merely the messenger. (I will say the Wakefield and Francona parts in both this and the other one are pretty funny...as is 1:25pm).
With that, I bring you Doug Mirabelli's doubleheader on 7/22:
9:00 shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed
9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands- farts 5 more times
9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge
9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for 3 he picked up last night
9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone
9:17 takes a dump
9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower
9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee
9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror-screams out loud "Dougie is going deep tonight "
9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tanktop and gets ready to leave
9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them
tomorrow
9:57 pulls onto RT 1 with Led Zeppelin blaring- cuts three people off-gives the finger to all three people
10:15 pulls into Fenway park- tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks nomar in
10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his
families' life if there is one scratch on his truck
10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the the first time time today and 350th time this month- asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend merloni
10:27 takes a sh*t- leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by
10:30 gives nomar a deadleg and calls him a homo
10:33 stuffs derek lowe in a locker and pisses on him
10:37 goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Wakefield
10:45 takes Pokey's Headphones off and steps on them- says until he is hitting 250-no music.
10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DHing the first game "
10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling
10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this : 375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S
11:17 writes back response to to fan's Letter "Hey P*ssy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for p*ssies like your boyfriend Nomar "
11:30 Walks out to batting pratice with a tantkop on
11:45 after no stretching steps into the cage- ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure
11:47 takes 25 cuts- hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8
11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang nomar for mixing in a curve after Dougie hit one onto the pike
11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie- calls him a pickle smoker
12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives
12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar's locker
12:15 Tito posts lineup- Dougie sees he is not the DH- Calls Francona a p*ssy. Francona runs behind Schilling
12:25 Dougie gets nakes and take 25 cuts in front of the clubhouse mirror- annoucing "Dougie is going deep tonight "
12:45 Takes a sh*t- uses Nomars 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his ass-
1:05 game starts - Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind schilling
1:25 Dougie annouces he is ready to pinch hit in the Bottom of the first for Nomar.
1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in- Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at trenton by 7 tonight
1:55 dougies 4 fenway frank arrive- pays with nomar's credit card
2:15 finishes shopping with nomars credit card- maxed it out at Auto Zone
2:30 dozes off
3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and wake
3:33 annouces himself ready to pinch hit
4:30 sox lose game- Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'D him-Francona runs away
5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for p*ssies
5:30 Dougie takes BP again- refuses to bunt
5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair- 11 foul- all pulled- he missed 15 pitches
6:00 Dougie see name in lineup- calls francona a p*ssy for batting him 8th- francona hides behinf schilling
6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup
6:25 announces that Dougie is going deep tonight
6:30 dinner arrives- 2 steaks from the capital grille- dougie pours steak juice into nomar's locker- makes d lowe eat the fat
6:35 dougie gives d lowe an atomic wedgie
7:00 tells wakefield the show some balls tonight and don't throw anything in the dirt
7:10 scoreless first- dougie tells francona it must be the catching
7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep
7:27 dougie screams at pitcher- tells him he is a p*ssy and he is taking him deep
7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall- coasts into second. almost gets thrown out
7:31 tells pitcher he fastball sucks- tells shortstop and second baseman that he didn't get all of it-
8:15 dougie ropes a rocket to third- third baseman takes all day and still turns two on dougie-
8:16 fans boo dougie
8:17 dougie tells family fo 4 to @#%$ off and steals some kids hot dog on way to dugout
8:18 dougie is tired and is happy he it into a doubleplay- he did not want to run the bases anymore
9:10 dougie fans on inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs- calls pitcher- catcher and ump all p*ssies
9:30 9th inning - dougie is exhausted- walks out to the mound and calls embree a p*ssy and tells him to just bring the heat- dougie wants to get home
9:50 Dougie showers- and walks around the clubhouse naked- tells dan shaugnessy and gordon edes to blow him-
9:55 dougie shaves - and leaves a goatee
10:00 Knocks nomar off his exercise bike- calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse
10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans- gives the bird to everyone near him
10:25 arrives at Kowloon on RT 1
10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3
12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn- goes for a dip in his above ground pool
12:10 leaves tighty whitey's on his neighboor's windshield
12:15 walks into house nakes and screams "who saw my bomb i hit tonite???"
12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood
12:45 takes 35 cuts naked and orders porn
12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie
1:15 dougie passes out on couch
The origin of this is in a password protected forum, so I can't link it, but here it is, cut and pasted:
----
This was forwarded in an email to me... sort of bizarre, yet fairly amusing nevertheless. This is Doug Mirabelli's July 30th.....:
12:05 am Order room service- charge it to Nomar 's room - tried to spell out garciaparra- finally just screamed charge it Nomar's room and make it quick.
12:20 Order third porn movie of the day
12:40 Filet Mignon with a side of chicken parm arrives
12:46 meal finished- calls back to room service- orders 2 piece of cheesecake charges it to Terry Francona's room
12:55 dessert arrives
12:57 dessert demolished- dougie strips down and take his pre bedtime swings naked in front of the mirror
1:30 can't sleep calls nomar's room and says in a spanish voice" this is omar minaya you have been traded to the Montreal expos- nomar cries- dougie calls him a @#%$ and tells him to go ice his pinky toe
1:45 calls derek lowe's room and tells him he has been traded to the pawtucket red sox
2:00 am can't sleep - goes skinny dipping in the hotel pool
3:00 am finally falls a sleep after killing it for the third time
today and another peice of cheesecake
9:55 wakes up- kills it- then takes a shower and shaves- leave one stripe down his chin-tells himself he is a stud who hits bombs
10:15 takes 30 hard cuts naked
10:20 gets dressed- tight jeans- cowboy boots and tanktop heads off to park
10:22 leaves note at front desk- please tell derek lowe and nomar to call john henry asap- leaves them a 900 number to call
11:00 arrives at ballpark- give dead leg to shilling and tells him to shut the @#%$ up for once
11:15 tells nomar he heard he is being traded to the expos for 3 pieces of @#%$ and some toilet paper
11:17 ask nomar if his @#%$ is still sore
11:18 steps on nomar's heel- tells him to quit being a @#%$
11:30 chest bumps wakefield
11:45 pulls shilling aside with a flying tackle and screams in his face- if you weren't such a loud mouth i would be catching Randy every 5th day instead of chasing knuckleballs to the backstop. tells he got rocked in new york and stop pitching like suck a @#%$- rips shilling wallet from his back
pocket and and takes his cash
12:00 tells derek lowe- what the @#%$ are you doing here- i thought we already traded your @#%$ weak ass sinker ball headcase @#%$ carcass-gives lowe a wedgie and farts in his face
12:15 screams out loud- "we trade nomar yet?"
12:45 orders chicken parm
1:25 finishes eating- heads out to bp
1:30 gets put in nomar bp group
1:42 throws nomar out of the cage
1:50 hits 13 of 20 pitches 400 feet foul- misses other 7
1:52 nomar gets back in cage- calls him and his wife gay- throws baseballs at nomar heels- hope he trips and hurts himself
1:55 reminds nomar that the sox dropped ther offer from 15 to 12 million-tells nomar they are having a party tonight when they trade him
2:15 takes 45 minutes nap- gets ready for deadline-dreams he hit game 7 dinger onto the mass pike- wakes up sees nomar and is pissed
3:15 announce to clubhouse- "nomar or @#%$ down lowe get traded yet ?"
3:45 bad mood takes over as it is the trading deadline and he sees nomar has not been traded
3:58 clubhouse closed to reporter- theo walks in- announes see ya @#%$-does a sack dance in nomar face
4:02 team notified of nomar's deal- leads chants in nanananana hey hey hey goodbye
4:10 bullshit do lowe not traded- tells him he is getting racked
tonight- stuffs him in his locker
4:15 high fives luccino and bear hugs theo- theo stunned
4:30 tells francona they should have trade Francona and schilling to Wilkes Barre-
4:33 francona runs away- dougie catches him and give him an atoimic wedgie- tells him to @#%$ bunt the runner along every now and then; francona runs and hides behind schilling.
4:45 makes plan for post game celebration nomar traded party at local nightspot
4:50 grabs schilling's wallet and takes out cash to pay for party
5:05 announces today is a good day-
Here is the second email I received on this "subject"... I have no idea who the original author is, so feel free to rip away.... I am merely the messenger. (I will say the Wakefield and Francona parts in both this and the other one are pretty funny...as is 1:25pm).
With that, I bring you Doug Mirabelli's doubleheader on 7/22:
9:00 shakes off the cobwebs and gets out of bed
9:01 lets out blistering fart and takes 90 second piss on his hands- farts 5 more times
9:03 drinks 3 raw eggs Rocky Balboa style and opens the fridge
9:05 take out leftovers from the Kowloon pupu platter for 3 he picked up last night
9:15 grunts at his wife and gives hid kids 20 bucks each to leave him alone
9:17 takes a dump
9:22 sings Van Halen in the shower
9:25 shaves and leaves his goatee
9:30 takes 35 vicious cuts with his bat naked in front of the mirror-screams out loud "Dougie is going deep tonight "
9:45 puts on his cowboy boots and tight jeans and tanktop and gets ready to leave
9:50 grunts at his wife and kids and tells them he'll see them
tomorrow
9:57 pulls onto RT 1 with Led Zeppelin blaring- cuts three people off-gives the finger to all three people
10:15 pulls into Fenway park- tells clubhouse parking attendant to make sure he blocks nomar in
10:16 puts the kid in a headlock and threatens the kid and his
families' life if there is one scratch on his truck
10:22 walks into clubhouse and calls Nomar a homo for the the first time time today and 350th time this month- asks Nomar if he misses his boyfriend merloni
10:27 takes a sh*t- leaves door open and yells at anyone who walks by
10:30 gives nomar a deadleg and calls him a homo
10:33 stuffs derek lowe in a locker and pisses on him
10:37 goes through a 10 minute hand shake with his boy Wakefield
10:45 takes Pokey's Headphones off and steps on them- says until he is hitting 250-no music.
10:50 Francona walks by and Dougie cuts him off and says "Is Dougie DHing the first game "
10:51 Francona runs and hides behind Schilling
10:55 Dougie tells Trot if he played 162 Games his numbers would look like this : 375 72 Hr's 52 Doubles 9 Singles 6 Walks 220 K'S
11:17 writes back response to to fan's Letter "Hey P*ssy, I don't wear batting gloves because they are for p*ssies like your boyfriend Nomar "
11:30 Walks out to batting pratice with a tantkop on
11:45 after no stretching steps into the cage- ignores the 5 bunts standard procedure
11:47 takes 25 cuts- hits 17 over the monster and misses the other 8
11:48 calls the batting practice pitcher a homo and tells him to go bang nomar for mixing in a curve after Dougie hit one onto the pike
11:55 Tackles Nomar and gives him wedgie- calls him a pickle smoker
12:00 Dougie's daily order of Double Chicken Parm from Joe Tecci's arrives
12:07 Dougie finishes Chicken Parm and pours the rest of his sauce into Nomar's locker
12:15 Tito posts lineup- Dougie sees he is not the DH- Calls Francona a p*ssy. Francona runs behind Schilling
12:25 Dougie gets nakes and take 25 cuts in front of the clubhouse mirror- annoucing "Dougie is going deep tonight "
12:45 Takes a sh*t- uses Nomars 350 dollar silk shirt to wipe his ass-
1:05 game starts - Dougie tells Francona he is not going to the bullpen to warm up pitchers. Francona hides behind schilling
1:25 Dougie annouces he is ready to pinch hit in the Bottom of the first for Nomar.
1:45 Abe Alvarez comes in- Dougie tells him he sucks and will back at trenton by 7 tonight
1:55 dougies 4 fenway frank arrive- pays with nomar's credit card
2:15 finishes shopping with nomars credit card- maxed it out at Auto Zone
2:30 dozes off
3:30 sees they are losing and goes back to the dugout and tells whole team they suck except for him and wake
3:33 annouces himself ready to pinch hit
4:30 sox lose game- Dougie tells Francona he should have DH'D him-Francona runs away
5:00 Dougie tells Nomar singles are for p*ssies
5:30 Dougie takes BP again- refuses to bunt
5:33 Dougie hit 22 pitches over the wall 11 fair- 11 foul- all pulled- he missed 15 pitches
6:00 Dougie see name in lineup- calls francona a p*ssy for batting him 8th- francona hides behinf schilling
6:05 Dougie demands to bat cleanup
6:25 announces that Dougie is going deep tonight
6:30 dinner arrives- 2 steaks from the capital grille- dougie pours steak juice into nomar's locker- makes d lowe eat the fat
6:35 dougie gives d lowe an atomic wedgie
7:00 tells wakefield the show some balls tonight and don't throw anything in the dirt
7:10 scoreless first- dougie tells francona it must be the catching
7:25 Dougie tells fans in on deck circle he is going deep
7:27 dougie screams at pitcher- tells him he is a p*ssy and he is taking him deep
7:30 Dougie hits bomb off the wall- coasts into second. almost gets thrown out
7:31 tells pitcher he fastball sucks- tells shortstop and second baseman that he didn't get all of it-
8:15 dougie ropes a rocket to third- third baseman takes all day and still turns two on dougie-
8:16 fans boo dougie
8:17 dougie tells family fo 4 to @#%$ off and steals some kids hot dog on way to dugout
8:18 dougie is tired and is happy he it into a doubleplay- he did not want to run the bases anymore
9:10 dougie fans on inside pitch after crushing 4 foul home runs- calls pitcher- catcher and ump all p*ssies
9:30 9th inning - dougie is exhausted- walks out to the mound and calls embree a p*ssy and tells him to just bring the heat- dougie wants to get home
9:50 Dougie showers- and walks around the clubhouse naked- tells dan shaugnessy and gordon edes to blow him-
9:55 dougie shaves - and leaves a goatee
10:00 Knocks nomar off his exercise bike- calls him a homo singles hitter and leaves clubhouse
10:10 cuts off 4 redsox fans- gives the bird to everyone near him
10:25 arrives at Kowloon on RT 1
10:45 sits down at bar and digs into his pupu platter for 3
12:00 stumbles home and parks truck on the front lawn- goes for a dip in his above ground pool
12:10 leaves tighty whitey's on his neighboor's windshield
12:15 walks into house nakes and screams "who saw my bomb i hit tonite???"
12:30 wakes up whole neighborhood
12:45 takes 35 cuts naked and orders porn
12:55 pulls out bucket of KFC and gets ready for movie
1:15 dougie passes out on couch
Saturday, September 24, 2005
NFL Week 3
2-1 on the early season as the Cowgirls push the tease to a 1-teamer (sorry, Lav, for the terrible line [+0.5] that you got)!
smells like a trap, much like my lions pick last week, but my philosophy is simple - bet on teams with talent and hope they win, versus betting on shitty teams and praying that they get a backdoor cover. this one has all signs of a TB win, with the x-factor being Favre/Lambeau.
however, here are a couple of green bay september trends:
- - 1-6 ats last 7 at home vs non div opp
- - 4-11 ats last 15 off ats loss
public is all over
the skinny:
bubba franks didn't practice on friday and will be a gametime decision. he was expected to be a huge factor against the best defensive team in the world. even if he plays, a bum hip injury will limit his effectiveness.
obviously, it's scary to bet against GB at home, but september isn't GB's best month, either. GB should be renamed "sickbay." i'm not sure if they even have named a starter at left corner yet - joey thomas, although probable, missed practice due to "recurring headaches." my gosh, if there's ever a team that has one foot in the grave, GB is it.
pirates 34, cheese-dogs 16
Thursday, September 22, 2005
Lavinius Gets Pulled Over in Corvette for First Time
Let's set the stage...
I'm riding home after having pizza with 10 other Canes fans at Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza in Ft. Lauderdale, which by the way, is the best pizza I've had in south Florida.
After leaving Anthony's, I had to go meet somebody up in Pompano who was buying my ticket to the Canes/Colorado game this weekend (Note: I am unable to go because I will be in Baltimore to see the Sox try to make something out of this season). In any event, I get to Pompano, meet the guy there, sell my ticket, and make my way home.
On the way home, I call my dad. I am meeting him, Mama Lavinius, and Sister Lavinius in Baltimore tomorrow. They are driving down from Boston- me flying from Ft. Lauderdale. So I'm shooting the shit with my dad for about 10-15 minutes. I get to within two minutes of my house, still talking to Pops, and next thing I know, I see flashing blues in the rear view. Now I'm thinking, "what the fuck!"
Lavinius: Dad, I gotta go, I'm getting pulled over.
Papa Lavinius: You're getting pulled over?
Lavinius: Yeah, I'll call you back.
Papa Lavinius: Okay, bye
*Lavinius takes right turn into his neighborhood and pulls off to the right*
*rolls down window...bracing self for reprimand*
Officer: License and Registration
Lavinius: *reaches into glove box and wallet and retrieves contents*
Officer: *Looks over Contents*
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Lavinius: Was I speeding?
Officer: 62 in a 45
Lavinius: Wow. I'm usually good about not speeding. I had no idea. (/crock of shit)
Fuck! So now I'm thinking, "oh fuck, a ticket! Young guy, black Vette, late at night...this guy is nailing me with a ticket before I take off for the weekend."
Officer: Do you live around here?
Lavinius: Yeah, I live in this neighborhood, about two minutes away down the street (*points to street*)
Officer: (*hands back license and registration*)
Officer: Be careful next time
Lavinius: Thank you, sir.
Phew!
Honestly, I had no idea I was going that fast. Sometimes in the Vette, when I don't look at my odometer, I have no idea how fast I'm going (Note: I accelerated to 80 in a 45 earlier today just trying to get around slower traffic, and didn't even know it till I looked!.) Plus with me on my cell phone, and the roads practically empty, all I was thinking about was getting home and packing for my trip.
Man I dunno, maybe it was my clean shaven appearance, or maybe it was my boyish charm, but I am SHOCKED the officer, a man in his 60's (estimating), didn't slap me with a ticket. I'm just glad I haven't been nabbed for going 86 in a 45, like I did earlier today in an open road.
I love my Vette! But I gotta be a little more alert to things around me, and cut back the times I go 40+ mph over the speed limit in a 45 mph zone to once a day. (Bwahahahahaha!)
I'm riding home after having pizza with 10 other Canes fans at Anthony's Coal Fired Pizza in Ft. Lauderdale, which by the way, is the best pizza I've had in south Florida.
After leaving Anthony's, I had to go meet somebody up in Pompano who was buying my ticket to the Canes/Colorado game this weekend (Note: I am unable to go because I will be in Baltimore to see the Sox try to make something out of this season). In any event, I get to Pompano, meet the guy there, sell my ticket, and make my way home.
On the way home, I call my dad. I am meeting him, Mama Lavinius, and Sister Lavinius in Baltimore tomorrow. They are driving down from Boston- me flying from Ft. Lauderdale. So I'm shooting the shit with my dad for about 10-15 minutes. I get to within two minutes of my house, still talking to Pops, and next thing I know, I see flashing blues in the rear view. Now I'm thinking, "what the fuck!"
Lavinius: Dad, I gotta go, I'm getting pulled over.
Papa Lavinius: You're getting pulled over?
Lavinius: Yeah, I'll call you back.
Papa Lavinius: Okay, bye
*Lavinius takes right turn into his neighborhood and pulls off to the right*
*rolls down window...bracing self for reprimand*
Officer: License and Registration
Lavinius: *reaches into glove box and wallet and retrieves contents*
Officer: *Looks over Contents*
Officer: Do you know why I pulled you over?
Lavinius: Was I speeding?
Officer: 62 in a 45
Lavinius: Wow. I'm usually good about not speeding. I had no idea. (/crock of shit)
Fuck! So now I'm thinking, "oh fuck, a ticket! Young guy, black Vette, late at night...this guy is nailing me with a ticket before I take off for the weekend."
Officer: Do you live around here?
Lavinius: Yeah, I live in this neighborhood, about two minutes away down the street (*points to street*)
Officer: (*hands back license and registration*)
Officer: Be careful next time
Lavinius: Thank you, sir.
Phew!
Honestly, I had no idea I was going that fast. Sometimes in the Vette, when I don't look at my odometer, I have no idea how fast I'm going (Note: I accelerated to 80 in a 45 earlier today just trying to get around slower traffic, and didn't even know it till I looked!.) Plus with me on my cell phone, and the roads practically empty, all I was thinking about was getting home and packing for my trip.
Man I dunno, maybe it was my clean shaven appearance, or maybe it was my boyish charm, but I am SHOCKED the officer, a man in his 60's (estimating), didn't slap me with a ticket. I'm just glad I haven't been nabbed for going 86 in a 45, like I did earlier today in an open road.
I love my Vette! But I gotta be a little more alert to things around me, and cut back the times I go 40+ mph over the speed limit in a 45 mph zone to once a day. (Bwahahahahaha!)
Tuesday, September 20, 2005
Another MLB Oddity...
Tonight's game versus the Tampa Bay Devil Rays brings yet another MLB oddity that I don't ever recall seeing... Jorge Cantu hit a deep fly to center field off Curt Schilling and picked up an RBI on a sacrifice fly -- because Carl Crawford scored from second base!!! That's right, Crawford tagged up after Damon caught the ball; Damon lackadaisically threw the ball in, but the speedy Crawford was motoring all the way, rounded third, and easily beat the relay throw at home to score from second base on a routine pop-up!!!
Back to Back... Finally!
Despite combining for 81 homers in 150 games, it wasn't until game 151 that David Ortiz and Manny Ramirez went back-to-back for the first time all season!
Friday, September 16, 2005
NFL Week 2
started off with a W last week as Pitt and Buff easily covered the tease...
every once in a while i'll look through the lines and spot a number that sticks out like a sore thumb - so much that i tend to overthink the pick. the line that seems out of whack to me is:
DETROIT LIONS -1
first of all, let me start by saying that i NEVER bet the lions on the road, but will make the exception here. for a -1 line, it's basically a SU play, which means value to me... other than LB, the lions have a better team all-around. the biggest wild-card here is jason hanson - with a hamstring injury in the season opener, he's listed as questionable. i think his impact on this game will be minimal though, as i believe detroit will punch in more TDs than field goals.
chicago will rely on rookie qb kyle orton (who the hell is he?) to carry the offense. to me, that means detroit will stuff men in the box to stop the run and force orton to beat them deep. basically, chicago has no weapons and i don't see them generating much offense, much like they didn't against the redskins last week...
i dunno, this smells like a blowout (a trap, if you will), with detroit winning it going away. i wouldn't be surprised to see detroit win by 20+. i also wouldn't be surprised to see detroit totally collapse and remind me once again why i don't bet them on the road.
however, betting light early in the season, this line seems pretty tasty. making an action play here is the only way this game becomes interesting...
7 PT TEASE: SAN DIEGO CHARGERS +10, DALLAS COWBOYS +1
normally i stay away from betting my beloved cowboys, but they've won 14 of the last 15 games against the skins, and it looks like more of the same here. the cowboys' big 3 (aikman, emmitt, and irvin) will be inducted into the cowboys' ring of honor, so that should provide an emotional spark. the cowboys proved they could stop the run by limiting studly ladainian to under 100 yards last week, so expect the same performance against clinton portis and a hapless skins' offense. special teams may play a big role as the skins' PK, john hall, strained a quad and probably won't play against the boys. additionally, the skins' punter is a rookie with an average leg, and the skins' backup PK (nick novak) was cut by the cowboys in training camp in favor of the boys' current PK, jose cortez. nick proved to be average within 40 yards, but i doubt he'll see many (if any) attempts at 40+. the boys' biggest weakness may be in their deep coverage, but look for them to cheat deep while their front D line takes care of business. brunell is immobile and his skills have diminished greatly, so don't expect much from him.
on the flipside, the chargers should win the game SU against the broncos, so the points appear to be a bonus. antonio gates returns to SD's lineup, which should give brees another option and less stress. although denver's LB corp is superb, their front line is relatively weak (ebenezer ekuban and mike myers were cowboys' castoffs and were generally ineffective at pressuring the QB). plummer is erratic and unpredictable, and mike anderson is questionable with bruised ribs. additionally, champ bailey separated his shoulder last week, so he won't be 100% - if he plays. at the very least, the chahhhhgahs should keep it close, if not win outright.
every once in a while i'll look through the lines and spot a number that sticks out like a sore thumb - so much that i tend to overthink the pick. the line that seems out of whack to me is:
DETROIT LIONS -1
first of all, let me start by saying that i NEVER bet the lions on the road, but will make the exception here. for a -1 line, it's basically a SU play, which means value to me... other than LB, the lions have a better team all-around. the biggest wild-card here is jason hanson - with a hamstring injury in the season opener, he's listed as questionable. i think his impact on this game will be minimal though, as i believe detroit will punch in more TDs than field goals.
chicago will rely on rookie qb kyle orton (who the hell is he?) to carry the offense. to me, that means detroit will stuff men in the box to stop the run and force orton to beat them deep. basically, chicago has no weapons and i don't see them generating much offense, much like they didn't against the redskins last week...
i dunno, this smells like a blowout (a trap, if you will), with detroit winning it going away. i wouldn't be surprised to see detroit win by 20+. i also wouldn't be surprised to see detroit totally collapse and remind me once again why i don't bet them on the road.
however, betting light early in the season, this line seems pretty tasty. making an action play here is the only way this game becomes interesting...
7 PT TEASE: SAN DIEGO CHARGERS +10, DALLAS COWBOYS +1
normally i stay away from betting my beloved cowboys, but they've won 14 of the last 15 games against the skins, and it looks like more of the same here. the cowboys' big 3 (aikman, emmitt, and irvin) will be inducted into the cowboys' ring of honor, so that should provide an emotional spark. the cowboys proved they could stop the run by limiting studly ladainian to under 100 yards last week, so expect the same performance against clinton portis and a hapless skins' offense. special teams may play a big role as the skins' PK, john hall, strained a quad and probably won't play against the boys. additionally, the skins' punter is a rookie with an average leg, and the skins' backup PK (nick novak) was cut by the cowboys in training camp in favor of the boys' current PK, jose cortez. nick proved to be average within 40 yards, but i doubt he'll see many (if any) attempts at 40+. the boys' biggest weakness may be in their deep coverage, but look for them to cheat deep while their front D line takes care of business. brunell is immobile and his skills have diminished greatly, so don't expect much from him.
on the flipside, the chargers should win the game SU against the broncos, so the points appear to be a bonus. antonio gates returns to SD's lineup, which should give brees another option and less stress. although denver's LB corp is superb, their front line is relatively weak (ebenezer ekuban and mike myers were cowboys' castoffs and were generally ineffective at pressuring the QB). plummer is erratic and unpredictable, and mike anderson is questionable with bruised ribs. additionally, champ bailey separated his shoulder last week, so he won't be 100% - if he plays. at the very least, the chahhhhgahs should keep it close, if not win outright.
Thursday, September 15, 2005
One of the weirdest MLB plays I've ever seen...
Boston's Gabe Kapler ruptured his left Achilles' tendon while rounding second base on Tony Graffanino's fifth-inning homer during Wednesday night's 5-3 win over Toronto.
Graffanino's ball went over the left-field wall, and Kapler fell to the ground. He got up on one knee but couldn't continue.
After a five-minute delay, Kapler was carted off the field. Alejandro Machado pinch ran starting at second base and finished circling the bases [full story].
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
How to Make a Woman Happy
It's not difficult. To make a woman happy, a man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. to never forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements or plans she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Feed him
2. Fuck him
3. Shut the fuck up
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
44. give her compliments regularly
45. love shopping
46. be honest
47. be very rich
48. not stress her out
49. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
50. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
51. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
52. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
53. to never forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements or plans she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY
1. Feed him
2. Fuck him
3. Shut the fuck up
Saturday, September 10, 2005
NFL Week 1
Cooch generally never bets this early in the NFL season, but I'll make a few action plays to get my gambling spirits flowing. We'll keep it very light and play lots o' teases, but Lavinius can vouch for my NFL street creds... heheh.
7 Pt. Tease:
Pittsburgh (even) and Buffalo (+1.5)
7 Pt. Tease:
Pittsburgh (even) and Buffalo (+1.5)
Wednesday, September 07, 2005
Congratulations Dontrelle Willis!
Congrats go out to the D-Train, Dontrelle Willis, for becoming the first 20 game winner in Florida Marlins history. He becomes the first African-American pitcher to achieve the 20 win plateau since Dave Stewart in 1990.
D-Train officially cemented himself in Marlins lore. Thirty years from now, during a Marlins' telecast, there will be a trivia question in the bottom of the 4th inning. It'll go something like this:
Who was the first pitcher in Marlins history to win 20 games?
Answer: Dontrelle Willis- September 7th, 2005
Congrats D-Train. It's guys like you that are helping the Marlins build that little something called tradition.
D-Train officially cemented himself in Marlins lore. Thirty years from now, during a Marlins' telecast, there will be a trivia question in the bottom of the 4th inning. It'll go something like this:
Who was the first pitcher in Marlins history to win 20 games?
Answer: Dontrelle Willis- September 7th, 2005
Congrats D-Train. It's guys like you that are helping the Marlins build that little something called tradition.
A useless grand-slam...
The Red Sox and Tigers played an extra-inning game Aug. 16 that fell on the opposite end of the bizarro scale. In that one, Detroit's Craig Monroe hit a 10th-inning grand slam -- and his team still lost. By three runs (thanks to a seven-run top of the 10th by Boston).
So how many players in history have hit an extra-inning slam in a loss? Well, there have been three others, according to Elias: Cy Williams (July 18, 1925), Mike Vail (June 30, 1979) and Andre Dawson (April 21, 1991).
But how many other players have hit extra-inning slams in games their teams lost by three runs (or more)? That, not surprisingly, would be zero. In fact, according to Retrosheet's Smith, there hasn't been any other game in the last 75 years in which a team scored four times by any means in any extra inning and still lost by three runs. Real, real hard to do, folks.
So how many players in history have hit an extra-inning slam in a loss? Well, there have been three others, according to Elias: Cy Williams (July 18, 1925), Mike Vail (June 30, 1979) and Andre Dawson (April 21, 1991).
But how many other players have hit extra-inning slams in games their teams lost by three runs (or more)? That, not surprisingly, would be zero. In fact, according to Retrosheet's Smith, there hasn't been any other game in the last 75 years in which a team scored four times by any means in any extra inning and still lost by three runs. Real, real hard to do, folks.
Sunday, September 04, 2005
Al Qaeda: Hurricane Katrina a "wrath of God"
DUBAI (Reuters) - The al Qaeda group in Iraq on Sunday hailed the hurricane deaths in America as the "wrath of God," according to an Internet statement.
"God attacked America and the prayers of the oppressed were answered," said the statement, which was posted on an Islamic Web site often used by the insurgent group fighting the U.S.-backed Iraqi government.
The statement's authenticity could not be verified.
"The wrath of the All-powerful fell upon the nation of oppressors. Their dead are in the thousands and their losses are in the billions," said the statement from the group led by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who has a $25 million U.S. bounty on this head.
"Only recently America killed and starved whoever it wanted, but today it is appealing for oil and food," it added.
The hurricane on the U.S. Gulf coast killed hundreds but as rescue work continues the final toll could be in the thousands.
--------
You had to figure these fuckers would twist it around. I guess when I take a violent shit after eating jalapeno peppers that's a "wrath of God" too...
Linky
"God attacked America and the prayers of the oppressed were answered," said the statement, which was posted on an Islamic Web site often used by the insurgent group fighting the U.S.-backed Iraqi government.
The statement's authenticity could not be verified.
"The wrath of the All-powerful fell upon the nation of oppressors. Their dead are in the thousands and their losses are in the billions," said the statement from the group led by Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, who has a $25 million U.S. bounty on this head.
"Only recently America killed and starved whoever it wanted, but today it is appealing for oil and food," it added.
The hurricane on the U.S. Gulf coast killed hundreds but as rescue work continues the final toll could be in the thousands.
--------
You had to figure these fuckers would twist it around. I guess when I take a violent shit after eating jalapeno peppers that's a "wrath of God" too...
Linky
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