With Wakefield and Clement on the shelf, 22-year-old Jon Lester in a hospital being tested for cancer, and Wells off to San Diego in an extra heavy duty plane used to transport elephants, the Sox are in a world of shit without any toilet paper.
Yep-- it's desperation time in Boston. They are all but out of the division race. They are hanging on by dental floss in the wild card race. Desperate times call for desperate measures-- which is why the Red Sox announced they are going with a rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way.
"As much as Tavarez, Snyder, Jason Johnson, and a pitching dummy are viable pitching options-- we've decided to go with a two-man rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way" , Red Sox manager Terry Francona said at an impromptu press conference yesterday following the Sox 6-4 win over Toronto.
"We're taking this shit back to the old school", said an exacerbated Theo Epstein. Fuck SABERMETRICS, fuck lefty/righty splits, fuck home/away ERA, fuck it all. I've had it with this shit. If we're gonna get back in this race, we gotta pull out all the fucking stops. If that means going unconventional on people's asses, then that's what we gonna do. Word to your mom."
The rotation for the coming days looks like this:
Friday 9/1: it will be Josh Beckett facing off against Ted Lilly
Saturday 9/2: Curt Schilling will be opposed by AJ Burnett
Sunday 9.3: Josh Beckett will be back on the rubber to face Gustavo Chacin
Monday 9/4: a well rested Curt Schilling faces a big test against Chisox ace Jon Garland
Selected seats are still available. Those with leftover ice in your finished soft drinks are encouraged to drop it off at the kiosks conveniently located next to the Red Sox dugout.
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6 comments:
it's about time! err, we'd better hope that beckett doesn't develop any finger-blister issues else it'll be a one-may show...
Sox just announced that if Beckett develops blisters and/or other finger ailments, he will remain in the rotation. However, he will pitch left-handed.
the 2006 version of greg harris? beckett should learn to pitch lefty - he'd still likely have a better fastball than pete schourek ever had!!
LOL...
and just one day after I make that post, Schill is on the shelf. But the Sox insist that they're going to stay with a 2-man rotation-- only with one minor modification-- the two men will be Beckett righthanded and Beckett lefthanded.
I got even money on Beckett's lefty heater registering higher on the gun than Schourek's. Then again, old women in wheelchairs go from the mound to home plate faster than Schourek's fastball.
i've seen postal deliveries quicker than schourek's...
Schourek's fastballs are too slow for even school zones.
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