Wednesday, January 23, 2008
My Janitor is Pissed
The janitor for my organization is tired of cleaning-up after slobs. He left the following message in the kitchen (bwhahahhahahah):
The Health Industry is on top of things
Way to break new ground guys!
Getting in shape reduces death risk
By CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, Associated Press Writer Tue Jan 22, 9:32 PM ET
DALLAS - The more fit you are, the longer you're likely to live, according to a large study of veterans that applies to black men as well as white men. The Veterans Affairs researchers found that the "highly fit" men in the study had half the risk of death as those who were the least fit. Being "very highly fit" cut the risk even more, by 70 percent.
In other news, Neil Armstrong lands on the moon, Abraham Lincoln dead at 56
Getting in shape reduces death risk
By CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, Associated Press Writer Tue Jan 22, 9:32 PM ET
DALLAS - The more fit you are, the longer you're likely to live, according to a large study of veterans that applies to black men as well as white men. The Veterans Affairs researchers found that the "highly fit" men in the study had half the risk of death as those who were the least fit. Being "very highly fit" cut the risk even more, by 70 percent.
In other news, Neil Armstrong lands on the moon, Abraham Lincoln dead at 56
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Heath Ledger Dead at 28
NEW YORK (CNN) -- Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.
Heath Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment.
The Academy Award nominated actor was 28.
"Pills were found in the vicinity of the bed," police spokesman Paul Browne told CNN.
"This is being looked at as a possible overdose, but that is not confirmed yet."
"This is being looked at as a possible overdose, but that is not confirmed yet."
Ledger was found by a housekeeper who had gone to wake him for an appointment with a masseuse in the Soho apartment, Browne said.
He was declared dead at about 3:30 p.m., Browne said.
In 2005, the actor played Ennis Del Mar in "Brokeback Mountain," about two cowboys who had a secret relationship.
The role earned him the Oscar nomination.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Shout out to a new L&C fan!
I hit the recruiting trail over the weekend seeking out new fans of our little hidden gem here on the blogspot (well, not really, but it sounds good to put it that way).
While on the trail, I was able to secure the fandom of one Victoria Baxter Nuzzi. You can just refer to her like I do as "Vikki." She's a second or third cousin of Lavinius (I believe our grandparents were first cousins...but if you're reading this Vikki, feel free to reply and clear this matter up once and for eternity). :)
She becomes either the 6th or 7th fan of the L&C diary. We hope to be at 10 fans by the end of the year, and 20 fans by the end of the decade. Lofty goals, I know, but when there's a will, there's a way...
Let's all give a big L&C welcome to Vikki!
While on the trail, I was able to secure the fandom of one Victoria Baxter Nuzzi. You can just refer to her like I do as "Vikki." She's a second or third cousin of Lavinius (I believe our grandparents were first cousins...but if you're reading this Vikki, feel free to reply and clear this matter up once and for eternity). :)
She becomes either the 6th or 7th fan of the L&C diary. We hope to be at 10 fans by the end of the year, and 20 fans by the end of the decade. Lofty goals, I know, but when there's a will, there's a way...
Let's all give a big L&C welcome to Vikki!
Opening Day begins in Japan with Red Sox playing A's
BOSTON -- Red Sox fans will have to get up early to watch the World Series champions start their title defense.
The major league season opener against the Oakland Athletics in Tokyo will start at 6:07 a.m. EDT on March 25, the Red Sox said Wednesday. The teams also play the following day.
Ahead of Opening Day, the Red Sox play the Central League's Hanshin Tigers at Tokyo Dome on March 22 (11:07 p.m. EDT March 21) and the Yomiuri Giants on March 23 (6:07 a.m.).
The major league season opener against the Oakland Athletics in Tokyo will start at 6:07 a.m. EDT on March 25, the Red Sox said Wednesday. The teams also play the following day.
Ahead of Opening Day, the Red Sox play the Central League's Hanshin Tigers at Tokyo Dome on March 22 (11:07 p.m. EDT March 21) and the Yomiuri Giants on March 23 (6:07 a.m.).
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Banned in the U.S.A.
Man this takes me back! Cooch used to rock out to these guys growing up on the mean streets of Lisbonia.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
24 posts!
I am pleased to announce that we have hit the 24 post plateau and it's only January 15th.
To give L&C fans a point of reference, last year we didn't have our 24th post of the year until August 22nd!
L&C has started '08 fast out of the blocks. We have no intention of slowing down. Enjoy the content!
Signed,
L of L&C
To give L&C fans a point of reference, last year we didn't have our 24th post of the year until August 22nd!
L&C has started '08 fast out of the blocks. We have no intention of slowing down. Enjoy the content!
Signed,
L of L&C
Mancrush V.2 adding some meat on them bones!
CHESTNUT HILL, Mass. -- The wiry frame is now right up there with the no-hitter when it comes to Clay Buchholz. It's just a memory.
The Red Sox's top pitching prospect took the organization's mandate of adding strength to his gifted right arm during the offseason seriously. And it was a noticeably sturdier Buchholz that worked out at Boston College on Tuesday as part of the Red Sox 2008 Rookie Program, a two-week event that ends on Friday.
"I know what it's going to take for me to have to stay on the team this year," said Buchholz. "A lot of hard work and dedication goes into being prepared for 162 games and that was my offseason this year, that was [what] I put all the dedication toward. I think I'm right at 191 [pounds] right now actually. It's better than the 178 I was last year."
Full story
Monday, January 14, 2008
And now, another priceless pep talk for Archie's elder seed
"Bummed about that loss? Wish you had another shot to knock off the undefeated Patriots? Understandable. But don't sweat it. You're still the reigning Super Bowl champ. Yeah, you know it. You're the man. But only for 20 more days. Then you're crap again. So live it up."
And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:
"Throw another tipped pass that was intercepted in the red zone? Too bad. Here's what you need to do: Work on your accuracy. Maybe watch a game tape of Tom Brady for some tips. That guy went 26-for-28. He's awesome. Plus, watching him is easy on the eyes. Total dreamboat."
And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:
"So I hear you're upset about losing at home in the divisional playoffs. Worried people are going to call you a choker again? Don't be. You played well. You just had a few bad breaks. And you were up against a buzz saw. That Billy Volek has never lost in the playoffs. He's a dynamo."
And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning
And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:
"Throw another tipped pass that was intercepted in the red zone? Too bad. Here's what you need to do: Work on your accuracy. Maybe watch a game tape of Tom Brady for some tips. That guy went 26-for-28. He's awesome. Plus, watching him is easy on the eyes. Total dreamboat."
And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:
"So I hear you're upset about losing at home in the divisional playoffs. Worried people are going to call you a choker again? Don't be. You played well. You just had a few bad breaks. And you were up against a buzz saw. That Billy Volek has never lost in the playoffs. He's a dynamo."
And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning
Dear Tony Romo
Stop dating celebrities.
Signed,
Those concerned for Tony Romo's career
P.S.- plenty of high quality low-profile snatch out there to get you off just as good as a celeb.
Signed,
Those concerned for Tony Romo's career
P.S.- plenty of high quality low-profile snatch out there to get you off just as good as a celeb.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
Message to Peyton Manning
TURN DOWN A COMMERCIAL!
This message has been paid for and sponsored by people who can no longer stand seeing Manning's ugly mug.
This message has been paid for and sponsored by people who can no longer stand seeing Manning's ugly mug.
Bill Walton= GOAT
As annoying as Bill Walton can be, the man is also incredibly witty.
On KIA NBA Shootaround, they asked Walton, Screamin' A., and Jalen Rose who they thought could beat San Antonio.
Jalen Rose says, "Phoenix."
Walton questions, "Phoenix? Why Phoenix? Are they still paying you?"
Jalen replies, "Yes. Under the table."
And Walton quips, "Just like at Michigan."
On KIA NBA Shootaround, they asked Walton, Screamin' A., and Jalen Rose who they thought could beat San Antonio.
Jalen Rose says, "Phoenix."
Walton questions, "Phoenix? Why Phoenix? Are they still paying you?"
Jalen replies, "Yes. Under the table."
And Walton quips, "Just like at Michigan."
Saturday, January 12, 2008
Celtics match best start in franchise history
EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (AP) - The Boston Celtics' big three all had big nights against the New Jersey Nets.
In the end, it was the Celtics' reserves that came up big in the fourth quarter in Boston's 86-77 win, the 30th of the season for the NBA's top team.
"We got down on the road and our starters needed some rest," Celtics coach Doc Rivers said. "The bench was able to dig it out and get us the win. They were huge for us. Every game, we try to get our big guys rest because its a long season and were trying to give the bench more confidence."
Kevin Garnett had 20 points and 11 rebounds, Paul Pierce added 18 points and Ray Allen scored 16 as Boston (30-4) matched the 1959-60 champion Celtics for the best start in franchise history.
[full story]
In the end, it was the Celtics' reserves that came up big in the fourth quarter in Boston's 86-77 win, the 30th of the season for the NBA's top team.
"We got down on the road and our starters needed some rest," Celtics coach Doc Rivers said. "The bench was able to dig it out and get us the win. They were huge for us. Every game, we try to get our big guys rest because its a long season and were trying to give the bench more confidence."
Kevin Garnett had 20 points and 11 rebounds, Paul Pierce added 18 points and Ray Allen scored 16 as Boston (30-4) matched the 1959-60 champion Celtics for the best start in franchise history.
[full story]
Friday, January 11, 2008
Division 1 college basketball team held to 20 points in a game! Are you friggin kidding me?!
When unprecedented suckage levels are attained, we at the L&C diary are compelled to share these findings with our readers.
The St. Louis University Billikens (whatever the sixth letter a Billiken is) were held to 20 POINTS in a Division 1 college basketball game.
We're not talking 'bout division 2, 3, 9, 10, high school, junior high, or elementary school. We're talking Division 1 college basketball.
Some lowlights for SLU:
*7 total first half points
*12% shooting from the field/floor in the first half
*14.6% shooting from the field/floor for the game
*5.3% shooting from 3-point land
*5 points from their leading scorer
My word! They could house all the homeless people in New Orleans with all them bricks!
A big THANK YOU goes out to the St. Louis University Billikens for reminding us that despite the world we live in, we still haven't seen it all.
Box score
The St. Louis University Billikens (whatever the sixth letter a Billiken is) were held to 20 POINTS in a Division 1 college basketball game.
We're not talking 'bout division 2, 3, 9, 10, high school, junior high, or elementary school. We're talking Division 1 college basketball.
Some lowlights for SLU:
*7 total first half points
*12% shooting from the field/floor in the first half
*14.6% shooting from the field/floor for the game
*5.3% shooting from 3-point land
*5 points from their leading scorer
My word! They could house all the homeless people in New Orleans with all them bricks!
A big THANK YOU goes out to the St. Louis University Billikens for reminding us that despite the world we live in, we still haven't seen it all.
Box score
Wednesday, January 09, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Rice shafted on Hall of Fame voting... Again.
BY THE NUMBERS: 382 -- The number of home runs hit by Sox outfielder Jim Rice during his 16-year career, which was tops among AL hitters during that span.
Seriously, isn't it time to get over the fact that he spent a good deal of time being a douche bag? His numbers speak for themselves. He's a Hall of Famer.Clemens and McNamee UNEDITED 17 min phone convo
Props to the WEEI website. Enjoy L&C fans!
WARNING: Explicit language for all our young viewers out there. Please consult mommy or daddy before listening.
What do you want me to do?
WARNING: Explicit language for all our young viewers out there. Please consult mommy or daddy before listening.
What do you want me to do?
Monday, January 07, 2008
Rocket Roger files defamation suit!
Took long enough for one of the accused to step up to the plate (or in Rocket's case, the rubber)
McNamee: "I'll go to jail for you!"
Roger: Not before you go to court for me!
McNamee: "I'll go to jail for you!"
Roger: Not before you go to court for me!
Sunday, January 06, 2008
More fun with blondes
Going to Orlando?
There was a blonde who had been planning a trip to Orlando for almost a year. She had saved her money and was determined to take this trip. Nothing or no one was going to stand in her way of enjoying something that had taken her so long to plan.
When she boarded the airplane, she settled herself into a first-class seat. It wasn't long until another passenger tapped her on the shoulder and told her she was in his seat.
She adamantly replied, "I am blonde. I have saved for over a year for this trip to Orlando and I am traveling first-class. I will not move." The other passenger complained to the flight attendant. The flight attendant walked up to the blonde and politely asked her to please move to the coach seat that was assigned her.
The blonde again said, "I am blonde. I have saved for over a year for this trip to Orlando and I am traveling first-class. I will not move." The flight attendant stalked up to the Captain and calmly told him what had happened. He said he would handle it.
The Captain leaned over the blonde and whispered in her ear. She immediately gathered her things and hurriedly moved to the back of the airplane.
Both the other passenger and the flight attendant looked at each other in disbelief, and the flight attendant asked the Captain exactly what was it he said that settled this disagreement so readily.
He smiled and replied, "I simply told her the front of the plane was not going to Orlando."
There was a blonde who had been planning a trip to Orlando for almost a year. She had saved her money and was determined to take this trip. Nothing or no one was going to stand in her way of enjoying something that had taken her so long to plan.
When she boarded the airplane, she settled herself into a first-class seat. It wasn't long until another passenger tapped her on the shoulder and told her she was in his seat.
She adamantly replied, "I am blonde. I have saved for over a year for this trip to Orlando and I am traveling first-class. I will not move." The other passenger complained to the flight attendant. The flight attendant walked up to the blonde and politely asked her to please move to the coach seat that was assigned her.
The blonde again said, "I am blonde. I have saved for over a year for this trip to Orlando and I am traveling first-class. I will not move." The flight attendant stalked up to the Captain and calmly told him what had happened. He said he would handle it.
The Captain leaned over the blonde and whispered in her ear. She immediately gathered her things and hurriedly moved to the back of the airplane.
Both the other passenger and the flight attendant looked at each other in disbelief, and the flight attendant asked the Captain exactly what was it he said that settled this disagreement so readily.
He smiled and replied, "I simply told her the front of the plane was not going to Orlando."
Saturday, January 05, 2008
Moved to Maine
Aug 12 - Moved to Maine. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so serene and beautiful. Can hardly wait to see snow cover them. God's country...I love it here.
Oct 14 - Maine is the most beautiful place. The leaves are turning all different colors, I love the shades of red and orange. I went for a ride through the beautiful country side and spotted some deer, they are so graceful certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I love it here.
Nov 11 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon...I love it here.
DEC 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white, it looks like a post card. We went outside and cleaned the snow off of the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, (I won) and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway out again. What a beautiful place. Mother nature in perfect harmony... I love Maine.
DEC 12 - More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal). Winter wonderland... I love it here.
DEC 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fuckin snowplow...
DEC 22 - More of the white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from all this damn shoveling. I think the snow plow man hides around the corner and waits till I'm done shoveling my driveway...asshole!
DEC 25 - "White Christmas" my busted ass! More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll castrate that dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt this fuckin ice.
DEC 28 - More white shit fell last night. Been inside since Christmas Day, except for shoveling out the driveway after "Snow Plow Harry" comes by, that prick...God damn car is behind a ton of snow. The weatherman said to expect another 10 inches of white shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 10 inches is?
Jan 1 - Happy Fuckin New Year. The weatherman was wrong (again). We didn't get 10" last night, we got 34", stupid ass weatherman anyway. At this rate it won't melt before the 4th of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shithead had the balls to come to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken 6 shovels already, shoveling all the shit; he pushed into my driveway, I broke the last one over his fuckin head.
Jan 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food, on the way back a God damn deer ran in front of me. I hit the bastard and tore my car all to hell. Did $3,000 in damages. Those fuckin beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed all of them last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing rotted out from all the fuckin salt they keep dumping all over the road. Car looks like a piece of shit.
May 10 - Moved back to Florida, I can't imagine why anyone in their right fuckin mind would ever want to live in this godforsaken place called Maine.
Oct 14 - Maine is the most beautiful place. The leaves are turning all different colors, I love the shades of red and orange. I went for a ride through the beautiful country side and spotted some deer, they are so graceful certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I love it here.
Nov 11 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon...I love it here.
DEC 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white, it looks like a post card. We went outside and cleaned the snow off of the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, (I won) and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway out again. What a beautiful place. Mother nature in perfect harmony... I love Maine.
DEC 12 - More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal). Winter wonderland... I love it here.
DEC 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fuckin snowplow...
DEC 22 - More of the white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from all this damn shoveling. I think the snow plow man hides around the corner and waits till I'm done shoveling my driveway...asshole!
DEC 25 - "White Christmas" my busted ass! More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll castrate that dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt this fuckin ice.
DEC 28 - More white shit fell last night. Been inside since Christmas Day, except for shoveling out the driveway after "Snow Plow Harry" comes by, that prick...God damn car is behind a ton of snow. The weatherman said to expect another 10 inches of white shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 10 inches is?
Jan 1 - Happy Fuckin New Year. The weatherman was wrong (again). We didn't get 10" last night, we got 34", stupid ass weatherman anyway. At this rate it won't melt before the 4th of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shithead had the balls to come to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken 6 shovels already, shoveling all the shit; he pushed into my driveway, I broke the last one over his fuckin head.
Jan 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food, on the way back a God damn deer ran in front of me. I hit the bastard and tore my car all to hell. Did $3,000 in damages. Those fuckin beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed all of them last November.
May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing rotted out from all the fuckin salt they keep dumping all over the road. Car looks like a piece of shit.
May 10 - Moved back to Florida, I can't imagine why anyone in their right fuckin mind would ever want to live in this godforsaken place called Maine.
Friday, January 04, 2008
Wednesday, January 02, 2008
Tuesday, January 01, 2008
Sunday, December 30, 2007
New England Patriots go 16-0*
* Cheating aside, they did win 16 games. Awesome, eh?
OK, Patriots get caught for cheating against the Jets.
NFL responds with, "That's wicked bad. However, we won't make the Patriots forfeit the game, because Las Vegas bettors would probably kill us. Integrity aside, let's just fine the Patriots. OK? Great."
Pats finish year undefeated. I put an asterisk on that one. Bullshit.
OK, Patriots get caught for cheating against the Jets.
NFL responds with, "That's wicked bad. However, we won't make the Patriots forfeit the game, because Las Vegas bettors would probably kill us. Integrity aside, let's just fine the Patriots. OK? Great."
Pats finish year undefeated. I put an asterisk on that one. Bullshit.
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Cooch wins the 2007 FFL Championship!!!
Championship Game Co-MVPs:
Kurt Warner and Anquan Boldin
Postseason Trivia:
Postseason Trivia:
Cooch's squad, Runningmen Down, was the only team to score at least 100 points in all of their postseason games.
Runningmen Down 2007 Team MVP:
Clinton Portis
Clinton was consistent all season long and pivotal in the postseason, posting 20+ points in the last 2 games.
Final Standings:
Monday, December 24, 2007
Lisbon Falls UPS!!!
I can't believe it! Lisbon Falls is small, but I didn't realize it was THIS SMALL. UPS just delivered a package to me and I can't believe the UPS "truck" the "driver" used - it's a bicycle with a cart attached! Holy. Shit. This is a slideshow of the UPS Man at the next house on his route. Unbelievable.
Friday, December 21, 2007
"The Dog Ate My World Series Ball!"
File this one into the WTF files...
ESPN.com news services
Updated: December 20, 2007, 12:16 PM ET
The baseball from the final out of the 2007 World Series is at Jonathan Papelbon's home in Hattiesburg, Md., according to the Hattiesburg American.
Well, part of it is.
The rest? You should ask the Boss.
If he could talk, he might say it was delicious. But the most he'll say is "woof."
"Boss," you see, is Jonathan Papelbon's dog. Boss likes to play with baseballs. And Boss found the baseball that Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek gave the closer after he struck out the Rockies' Seth Smith to clinch Boston's second World Series title in four years, the newspaper reported.
----
What's with this team and World Series balls? And if this load of poo is true, how is this ball anywhere near striking distance of poochie?
ESPN.com news services
Updated: December 20, 2007, 12:16 PM ET
The baseball from the final out of the 2007 World Series is at Jonathan Papelbon's home in Hattiesburg, Md., according to the Hattiesburg American.
Well, part of it is.
The rest? You should ask the Boss.
If he could talk, he might say it was delicious. But the most he'll say is "woof."
"Boss," you see, is Jonathan Papelbon's dog. Boss likes to play with baseballs. And Boss found the baseball that Red Sox catcher Jason Varitek gave the closer after he struck out the Rockies' Seth Smith to clinch Boston's second World Series title in four years, the newspaper reported.
----What's with this team and World Series balls? And if this load of poo is true, how is this ball anywhere near striking distance of poochie?
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
lavinius vs. cooch: head-to-head matchup #3 this season
FFL Playoffs, Round 2: Cooch beats Lavinius comfortably. Romo, who Cooch traded to Lavinius several weeks ago, puts up 3 points and pulls down Lavinius' squad with him. Cooch advances to the Championship game, facing a 5-8 team (Team Cherry), who pulled an even greater upset (ala Joe Namath) against the Tainted Taints.
(click on image for greater detail) Sunday, December 16, 2007
Good Job Eli Manning, you Douche Bag
Just in case you didn't know - I'm not much of an Eli Manning fan...
How about this line from today (Washington Redskins vs. New York Giants):
Yup. 36 incomplete passes. Nice job, douche.
How about this line from today (Washington Redskins vs. New York Giants):
Cooch to Romo: Next time, leave Jessica at home
The Rex Grossman award goes to.... Tony Romo!
With his bubbly girlfriend in the stands, Tony Romo played an absolute stinker in Irving today against the Eagles. The Eagles held Romo to the worst QB rating of his career (22.2, ouch!) as Romo threw 3 picks with no TDs; the Eagles won 10-6 and Romo was off all day...
[box score - very unimpressive]
[box score - very unimpressive]
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Dallas Cowboys Clinch NFC East!
Rob Phillips - Email
DallasCowboys.com Staff Writer
December 9, 2007 3:19 PM
DETROIT - The Cowboys have clinched their first division title since 1998, but not without a large dose of drama.
Quarterback Tony Romo's 16-yard touchdown pass to Jason Witten with 18 seconds left capped an amazing fourth-quarter comeback and lifted Dallas (12-1) past Detroit, 28-27, to secure the NFC East title Sunday at Ford Field.
Detroit (6-7) appeared to have preserved the upset with 5:47 left, when Greg Blue recovered Witten's fumble at the Lions' 1-yard line. But the Cowboys got the ball back, allowing Romo just enough time for a game-winning drive.
Witten finished with a game-high 15 catches for 143 yards, and Romo completed 35 of 44 passes for 307 yards and two touchdowns.
Running back Marion Barber also had three touchdowns for Dallas.
DallasCowboys.com Staff Writer
December 9, 2007 3:19 PM
DETROIT - The Cowboys have clinched their first division title since 1998, but not without a large dose of drama.
Quarterback Tony Romo's 16-yard touchdown pass to Jason Witten with 18 seconds left capped an amazing fourth-quarter comeback and lifted Dallas (12-1) past Detroit, 28-27, to secure the NFC East title Sunday at Ford Field.
Detroit (6-7) appeared to have preserved the upset with 5:47 left, when Greg Blue recovered Witten's fumble at the Lions' 1-yard line. But the Cowboys got the ball back, allowing Romo just enough time for a game-winning drive.
Witten finished with a game-high 15 catches for 143 yards, and Romo completed 35 of 44 passes for 307 yards and two touchdowns.
Running back Marion Barber also had three touchdowns for Dallas.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
NFL Week 13 Picks
LAVINIUS: Lavinius Lock and Load Play of the Week
Denver -3 over Oakland (buy the 1/2)
-Denver 5 SU wins over Oakland last 5 H2H
-Denver 4 SU wins in Oakland last 4 in Oakland
-Oakland 1-4 SU at home this year
-Denver has scored 95 pts in their last 3 games (a little over 31 per)
-Oakland allows 153.6 rushing ypg (Denver rushes for 124 per game)
-Cutler is playing his best ball of the season
Denver over Oaktown! Buy the hook!
COOCH: Cooch's Lead Pipe Lock
NY Giants -1 (buy the hook, god dang it!) over Chicago
- Chitown sucks and has just lost Benson....
- Giants leader in all major facets: Pts/game, yards allowed, yards gained, time of possession, red zone, kicking, and penalties.
- Giants 6-2 ATS last 8 road games
- Bears 3-9 ATS last 12 vs NFC
LAVINIUS: Dental Floss Lock of the Week
Ravens +21 over NE (purchase el hooko):
Brady will get the shits eating at Phillip's Crab Shack the night before
and drink too much at Power Plant Live. He will sleep with one too many
girls, including a transvestite inadvertantly, and smoke a half a dozen
blunts with John Curtice while receiving head under the table from said
tranny.
COOCH: Action Play Cock Lock Consensus Pick 50 Dime Play of the Week GOLD Star Release
ST LOUIS -3 OVER ATL
Last great thing out of ATL was 50 Cent. No, wait, was that Lil' John?
LAVINIUS: Ratings Buster Cement Beam Lock of the Decade in Odd-Numbered Years
Miami -1 over Jets
Phins win, '76 Bucs champagne shower ensues.
Denver -3 over Oakland (buy the 1/2)
-Denver 5 SU wins over Oakland last 5 H2H
-Denver 4 SU wins in Oakland last 4 in Oakland
-Oakland 1-4 SU at home this year
-Denver has scored 95 pts in their last 3 games (a little over 31 per)
-Oakland allows 153.6 rushing ypg (Denver rushes for 124 per game)
-Cutler is playing his best ball of the season
Denver over Oaktown! Buy the hook!
COOCH: Cooch's Lead Pipe Lock
NY Giants -1 (buy the hook, god dang it!) over Chicago
- Chitown sucks and has just lost Benson....
- Giants leader in all major facets: Pts/game, yards allowed, yards gained, time of possession, red zone, kicking, and penalties.
- Giants 6-2 ATS last 8 road games
- Bears 3-9 ATS last 12 vs NFC
LAVINIUS: Dental Floss Lock of the Week
Ravens +21 over NE (purchase el hooko):
Brady will get the shits eating at Phillip's Crab Shack the night before
and drink too much at Power Plant Live. He will sleep with one too many
girls, including a transvestite inadvertantly, and smoke a half a dozen
blunts with John Curtice while receiving head under the table from said
tranny.
COOCH: Action Play Cock Lock Consensus Pick 50 Dime Play of the Week GOLD Star Release
ST LOUIS -3 OVER ATL
Last great thing out of ATL was 50 Cent. No, wait, was that Lil' John?
LAVINIUS: Ratings Buster Cement Beam Lock of the Decade in Odd-Numbered Years
Miami -1 over Jets
Phins win, '76 Bucs champagne shower ensues.
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Friday, November 30, 2007
Daredevil Evel Knievel dies at 69
CLEARWATER, Fla. (AP) - Evel Knievel, the red-white-and-blue-spangled motorcycle daredevil whose jumps over crazy obstacles including Greyhound buses, live sharks and Idaho's Snake River Canyon made him an international icon in the 1970s, died Friday. He was 69.
[story]
[story]
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
The Pats scored again...
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
The Pats scored again
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
Romo, Westbrook propel Lavinius to 153.1-102.2 romp over Cooch's hapless squad
The rematch carried far less fanfare than the initial battle. With Cooch basically throwing in the towel on his season following Ronald Brown's season-ending injury, and Shawn Alexandra's feminine tendencies on the football field, Lavinius was a heavy favorite heading into the rematch.
Further hindering the pride of Lisbon Falls was his decision to trade top fantasy QB and mancrush Tony Romo to Lavinius for highly-skilled white WR Wes Welker. With the trade, he guaranteed that Lavinius would pretty much be stacked across the board at every position on his fantasy squad. QB had been a weakness thanks to broken ribage by Marc Bulger. But with Bulger's ribs now healed, Lavinius is armed with essentially two Pro Bowl QBs.
The results of this rematch were grotesque for the Cooch supporters, but symphonic to Lavinius supporters. Quite eloquently, Lavinius waxed that ass.
Further hindering the pride of Lisbon Falls was his decision to trade top fantasy QB and mancrush Tony Romo to Lavinius for highly-skilled white WR Wes Welker. With the trade, he guaranteed that Lavinius would pretty much be stacked across the board at every position on his fantasy squad. QB had been a weakness thanks to broken ribage by Marc Bulger. But with Bulger's ribs now healed, Lavinius is armed with essentially two Pro Bowl QBs.
The results of this rematch were grotesque for the Cooch supporters, but symphonic to Lavinius supporters. Quite eloquently, Lavinius waxed that ass.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
2007 Red Sox MLB Awards
Gold Glove - Kevin Youkilis, 1B
Silver Slugger - David Ortiz, DH
Delivery Man - Jonathan Papelbon, Closer
Rookie of the Year - Dustin Pedroia, 2B
Conigliaro Award - Jon Lester, P
2007 ALCS MVP - Josh Beckett
2007 WS MVP - Mike Lowell
Player of the Month:
April; Rookie of the Month: Hideki Okajima
May; Rookie of the Month: Dustin Pedroia
September; Rookie of the Month: Jacoby Ellsbury, Player of the Month: David Ortiz
Player of the Week:
May 14 - May 20: Daisuke Matsuzaka
May 28 - June 3: Dustin Pedroia
July 23 - July 29: Manny Ramirez
August 20 - August 26: David Ortiz and Mike Lowell
August 27 - September 2: Clay Buchholz
Sporting News Rookie of the Year: Dustin Pedroia
Silver Slugger - David Ortiz, DH
Delivery Man - Jonathan Papelbon, Closer
Rookie of the Year - Dustin Pedroia, 2B
Conigliaro Award - Jon Lester, P
2007 ALCS MVP - Josh Beckett
2007 WS MVP - Mike Lowell
Player of the Month:
April; Rookie of the Month: Hideki Okajima
May; Rookie of the Month: Dustin Pedroia
September; Rookie of the Month: Jacoby Ellsbury, Player of the Month: David Ortiz
Player of the Week:
May 14 - May 20: Daisuke Matsuzaka
May 28 - June 3: Dustin Pedroia
July 23 - July 29: Manny Ramirez
August 20 - August 26: David Ortiz and Mike Lowell
August 27 - September 2: Clay Buchholz
Sporting News Rookie of the Year: Dustin Pedroia
Friday, November 02, 2007
NEW YORK YANKEES TO BOSTON RED SOX CONVERSION FORM
NEW YORK YANKEES TO BOSTON RED SOX CONVERSION FORM
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Boston Red Sox Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankee requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based upon the current backlog of requests.
Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience.
Name: _______________________________
Address:______________________________
Who's Your Daddy: ____________________
1. Please select your favorite recent Yankee new player acquisition:
[ ] Roger Clemens $20 million, six wins, one groin pull
[ ] Alex Rodriquez $92 million, no title, Ha!
[ ] Derek Jeter $123 million since he last won world series
[ ] Jason Giambi $91 million, no title, lots of roid sweat
[ ] Carl Pavano $27 million, five wins
2. . Which of the following would you most like to see as the most played
YES Network "Great Moments in Yankee History" film clip in 2008:
[ ] Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 4, 2004
[ ] Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 5, 2004
[ ] The awesome wild card clincher celebration
[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 1
[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 2
[ ] Jeter's first GIDP
[ ] Jeter's second GIDP
[ ] Jeter's third GIDP
3.. Please indicate the last book you read:
[ ] Someday, in my lifetime, the Yankees will get to the LCS Again
[ ] Suicide Hotline - It's not just for Cubs' fans anymore
[ ] The Heimlich Maneuver -- What to do when choking
4. Which recent Yankees personnel move did you enjoy most:
[ ] Not winning the posting for Matsuzaka
[ ] Winning the posting for Kei Igawa
5. Which following designation best describes Derek Jeter's performance in this year's ALDS:
[ ] Captain Intangibles
[ ] Captain GIDP
[ ] Captain & Tenille
6. Please choose your favorite movie:
[ ] Anger Management
[ ] Hunt for Red October
[ ] Damned Yankees
[ ] Still We Believe
7. Finish this sentence: "Alex Rodriquez is
a. overrated
b. overpaid
c. overdue
d. overly prissy
e. over
8. . Select the most vociferous, stupid, and annoying Yankee fan:
[ ] Washed up "comic" hack and Yanks personal "ball" washer Billy Crystal
[ ] Front-running celebrity phony Jack Nicholson
[ ] Tim McCarver
9 . Are you ready to admit that:
a. Ted Williams was better than Joe DiMaggio?
b. Carlton Fisk was better than Thurman Munson?
c. Even Manny Ramirez is faster than Bernie Williams?
d. Reggie Jackson was a better outfielder than Matsui?
e. No self-respecting parasite would invade Jason Giambi?
10. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply):
[ ] Alex Rodriquez is traded to the Yankees
[ ] Don Mattingly never wins a World Series
[ ] The Yankees let Clemens get away
[ ] The Yankees get Clemens back
[ ] Giambi's steroid abuse causes his body to collapse like a screen door in a hurricane.
[ ] The bugs eat Joba
11 . Have you experienced any of the following after the embarrassing four game collapse? (Check all that apply)
[ ] Headache
[ ] Uncontrolled Anger
[ ] Heartache
[ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea
[ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression and Broken Dreams
[ ] Avoided Red Sox fans for days or weeks
Once you have completed this form, please forward it to Fenway Park. Then burn all your remaining Yankee clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Red Sox Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.
I hereby acknowledge that the real "curse" is being a Yankee Fan.
I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______
day of ________________, 200__
Thank you for your interest in becoming a member of the Boston Red Sox Fan Club. Due to an unprecedented volume of requests, we are currently processing only fan conversion registrations for New York Yankee fans. Conversion requests from other teams will be accepted once all Yankee requests are processed. We expect this to take a number of weeks based upon the current backlog of requests.
Please take a few moments to fill out the conversion form below to help us get to know you better and prescribe any required counseling to recover from your previous fan experience.
Name: _______________________________
Address:______________________________
Who's Your Daddy: ____________________
1. Please select your favorite recent Yankee new player acquisition:
[ ] Roger Clemens $20 million, six wins, one groin pull
[ ] Alex Rodriquez $92 million, no title, Ha!
[ ] Derek Jeter $123 million since he last won world series
[ ] Jason Giambi $91 million, no title, lots of roid sweat
[ ] Carl Pavano $27 million, five wins
2. . Which of the following would you most like to see as the most played
YES Network "Great Moments in Yankee History" film clip in 2008:
[ ] Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 4, 2004
[ ] Rivera's "shocking" blown save in Game 5, 2004
[ ] The awesome wild card clincher celebration
[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 1
[ ] Wang getting hammered in Game 2
[ ] Jeter's first GIDP
[ ] Jeter's second GIDP
[ ] Jeter's third GIDP
3.. Please indicate the last book you read:
[ ] Someday, in my lifetime, the Yankees will get to the LCS Again
[ ] Suicide Hotline - It's not just for Cubs' fans anymore
[ ] The Heimlich Maneuver -- What to do when choking
4. Which recent Yankees personnel move did you enjoy most:
[ ] Not winning the posting for Matsuzaka
[ ] Winning the posting for Kei Igawa
5. Which following designation best describes Derek Jeter's performance in this year's ALDS:
[ ] Captain Intangibles
[ ] Captain GIDP
[ ] Captain & Tenille
6. Please choose your favorite movie:
[ ] Anger Management
[ ] Hunt for Red October
[ ] Damned Yankees
[ ] Still We Believe
7. Finish this sentence: "Alex Rodriquez is
a. overrated
b. overpaid
c. overdue
d. overly prissy
e. over
8. . Select the most vociferous, stupid, and annoying Yankee fan:
[ ] Washed up "comic" hack and Yanks personal "ball" washer Billy Crystal
[ ] Front-running celebrity phony Jack Nicholson
[ ] Tim McCarver
9 . Are you ready to admit that:
a. Ted Williams was better than Joe DiMaggio?
b. Carlton Fisk was better than Thurman Munson?
c. Even Manny Ramirez is faster than Bernie Williams?
d. Reggie Jackson was a better outfielder than Matsui?
e. No self-respecting parasite would invade Jason Giambi?
10. Please indicate your favorite moments in Yankee history: (Check all that apply):
[ ] Alex Rodriquez is traded to the Yankees
[ ] Don Mattingly never wins a World Series
[ ] The Yankees let Clemens get away
[ ] The Yankees get Clemens back
[ ] Giambi's steroid abuse causes his body to collapse like a screen door in a hurricane.
[ ] The bugs eat Joba
11 . Have you experienced any of the following after the embarrassing four game collapse? (Check all that apply)
[ ] Headache
[ ] Uncontrolled Anger
[ ] Heartache
[ ] Holes punched in doors or walls
[ ] Nausea
[ ] Smashed TV screens
[ ] Depression and Broken Dreams
[ ] Avoided Red Sox fans for days or weeks
Once you have completed this form, please forward it to Fenway Park. Then burn all your remaining Yankee clothing, memorabilia, and associated reminders. After reviewing your request, the Red Sox Fan Club will contact you with notification of acceptance or rejection.
I hereby acknowledge that the real "curse" is being a Yankee Fan.
I hereby renounce the New York Yankees for all eternity on this the ______
day of ________________, 200__
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Prep team scores 72 points in first quarter
SMITH CENTER, Kan. (AP) - Smith Center scored 72 points in the first quarter of a high school football game Tuesday night on the way to an 86-0 win over Plainville, according to a report in the Salina, Kan., Journal.
Smith Center forced six turnovers in the first quarter as it racked up what is believed to be a record for points in a quarter by a high school team, the paper reported. The previous record was 66 by Prescott, Ariz., in 1925. The defending state champion has outscored its opponents 640-0 so far this season, including a 69-0 win over Plainville earlier this year.[link]
Sunday, October 28, 2007
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Red Sox Halloween Costume...
Lavinius: Thought about being the Sox offense but then I realized I wouldn't scare anybody.
Cooch: Yeah, it would be difficult to dress up as a black hole...
Cooch: Yeah, it would be difficult to dress up as a black hole...
Thursday, October 04, 2007
Monday, October 01, 2007
Lavinius is a Back-to-Back Fantasy Baseball Champion
Yes indeed your boy Lavinius came through like a champ! A regular season where his fantasy team incurred just two H2H losses all year and a 1st place finish by 34.5 games, he validated that success with his second fantasy baseball championship in as many seasons with a 9-3 win in the finals.
The sacrificial lamb this year was a team that went by the name "IbisNation." Having played with Lavinius last year and witnessing dominance for the second straight season, he dubbed Lavinius with arguably the most flattering superlative he's ever heard:
"Fantasy God"
I mean, wow. To be called a God in anything, damn! Doesn't get much better. I'll try not to let it get too much to my head, though.
As usual, photographic evidence is included:
The sacrificial lamb this year was a team that went by the name "IbisNation." Having played with Lavinius last year and witnessing dominance for the second straight season, he dubbed Lavinius with arguably the most flattering superlative he's ever heard:
"Fantasy God"
I mean, wow. To be called a God in anything, damn! Doesn't get much better. I'll try not to let it get too much to my head, though.
As usual, photographic evidence is included:
Saturday, September 29, 2007
RED SOX 2007 AL EAST CHAMPS!!!
Cooch, how sweet is it to finally be able to call our Sox that? After YEARS of coming up short against the arrogant Yanks, including narrowly missing out on the division the last four years, how sweet does this taste?! 12 fucking years since the last division title. Although a division title isn't the "ultimate goal", I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this BAD.
Nice to see Dice-K end the season with a strong outing. He's the wild card to the Sox playoff run, IMO. Him pitching well is gonna be paramount to the Sox advancing far in the playoffs. Especially with him being the #2 on this team.
In the meantime, magic number is ZERO, snitches!!!
Nice to see Dice-K end the season with a strong outing. He's the wild card to the Sox playoff run, IMO. Him pitching well is gonna be paramount to the Sox advancing far in the playoffs. Especially with him being the #2 on this team.
In the meantime, magic number is ZERO, snitches!!!
Sunday, September 23, 2007
2007 Red Sox first team to clinch playoff berth:
Francona first manager to lead the Sox to the postseason 3 times!
The Boston Red Sox became the first team in the majors to clinch a playoff spot this season, rallying on ninth-inning home runs by Jason Varitek and Julio Lugo to beat the Tampa Bay Devil Rays 8-6 Saturday.
Francona becomes the first Red Sox manager in team history to lead a team to the postseason 3 times...
[story]
Francona becomes the first Red Sox manager in team history to lead a team to the postseason 3 times...
[story]
Saturday, September 22, 2007
Fox Fantasy Baseball Sucks
My league hasn't updated playoff stats in over a week now. Not a huge deal since I earned a first round bye, but most of the second round of playoffs aren't being updated. Everyone's record displays 0-0 with no points scored. What a waste of time to be in week 25ish and the system shitting the bed. All teams are unmanageable at this point. Fucking waste.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Lavinius takes down Cooch in first-ever fantasy sports showdown
A historical phenomenon took place over the weekend. Something so big that it threatened to change life on this planet as we know it.
Lavinius and Cooch are both avid fantasy sports participants. They've always competed in separate leagues, but never against each other.
That was fixing to change when Lavinius extended an invite to the Cooch to join a fantasy football league. Of course, Cooch gladly accepted said invite.
The league is an ESPN league entitled "Head On" (from "apply directly to the forehead" fame). It's a league comprised of friends and former softball teammates of Lavinius with a few random screennames sprinkled in.
So now the table was set. Lavinius and Cooch were finally in a fantasy sports league together. Now it was just a question of "when do they play each other?"
They didn't have to wait long for their showdown. Week 2 was the date. The place? Right here.
The results?
Clickage here:
There ya have it, folks, a victory for yours truly. Despite the loss of Brandon Jacobs, Lavinius still put it down on the Cooch man. I'm certain Cooch will reply to this crying for an asterisk, but it was Terrell Owens that was "filming Miami's defensive plays" during a TD celebration in the 4th quarter. :)
Ball-busting aside, it was a good battle. Smack talk was at a minimum and good sportsmanship at a maximum. Cooch actually sent Lavinius good luck wishes in the spirit of competition.
The rematch is slated for week 10.
Lavinius and Cooch are both avid fantasy sports participants. They've always competed in separate leagues, but never against each other.
That was fixing to change when Lavinius extended an invite to the Cooch to join a fantasy football league. Of course, Cooch gladly accepted said invite.
The league is an ESPN league entitled "Head On" (from "apply directly to the forehead" fame). It's a league comprised of friends and former softball teammates of Lavinius with a few random screennames sprinkled in.
So now the table was set. Lavinius and Cooch were finally in a fantasy sports league together. Now it was just a question of "when do they play each other?"
They didn't have to wait long for their showdown. Week 2 was the date. The place? Right here.
The results?
Clickage here:
There ya have it, folks, a victory for yours truly. Despite the loss of Brandon Jacobs, Lavinius still put it down on the Cooch man. I'm certain Cooch will reply to this crying for an asterisk, but it was Terrell Owens that was "filming Miami's defensive plays" during a TD celebration in the 4th quarter. :)
Ball-busting aside, it was a good battle. Smack talk was at a minimum and good sportsmanship at a maximum. Cooch actually sent Lavinius good luck wishes in the spirit of competition.
The rematch is slated for week 10.
Friday, September 14, 2007
The Chinese Newlyweds
A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.
"My darring" he says, "I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Whatchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan ...... numba 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries........ "You want... Beef wif Broccori?!"
"My darring" he says, "I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Whatchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.
A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan ...... numba 69."
More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries........ "You want... Beef wif Broccori?!"
Belichick not quite the genius I had originally thought...
Belichick was synonymous with genius in my opinion - "was" is the key word. Sure, every coach wants to gain an edge on the field, but spying on the other team and relaying signals during the game? I just wonder how many of those Patriots regular season wins, playoff wins, and Super Bowl wins were the results of Belichick's cheating schemes over the years...
[story]
[story]
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Snapshot of Dolphin Stadium during Nats/Marlins game today
The estimates of people in the stands ranged in the 400 neighborhood, and about half that were on hand to see Todd Linden's game-winning hit in the 12th inning, a grounder that snaked its way through the middle of the infield to bring home pinch-runner Reggie Abercrombie to result in a 5-4 victory over the Washington Nationals.
The Nationals, a team in its third season in Washington, will open a new ballpark when the cherry blossoms are in bloom next spring while the Marlins -- winners of two world titles -- still languish in the House Joe Robbie Built.
The announced paid crowd was 10,121, but most of them stayed home. When the game ended, there were nine people in the outfield bleachers and about 200 around the stadium.
''It's a little sad that you can play where you can count the people in the stands,'' Marlins first baseman Mike Jacobs said. ``But that's the way it is down here, and it's not going to change until we get a new stadium.
``I guess people would rather watch us on TV. Why would you want to come and sit in the heat? It's tough. If we had a stadium with a roof it would help a lot.''
If someone bets you $1,000,000...
that you can't go a whole year without talking, do you take the bet?
The parameters:
You are locked in a glass-enclosed room, mic'd up with surveillance. You are not allowed to speak for 12 months effective the second you're in the glass-room. The room is a mini-house, equipped with a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, laundry, television...basically all the amenities of a traditional house.
Do you take the bet? $1 million to go one full year without talking. If you utter one single word, you lose.
The parameters:
You are locked in a glass-enclosed room, mic'd up with surveillance. You are not allowed to speak for 12 months effective the second you're in the glass-room. The room is a mini-house, equipped with a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, laundry, television...basically all the amenities of a traditional house.
Do you take the bet? $1 million to go one full year without talking. If you utter one single word, you lose.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Results of Lavinius's aka Team Rugged's '07 Fantasy Baseball Season
Sorry for the small font (that's as big as I can make it), but if you put your eyes 1/2 inch away from the screen, you will see total domination by Lavinius in a 14 team league. First place was claimed on Week 2 and maintained in near wire-to-wire fashion.
Now we'll see what the playoffs have in store...
Results of Cooch's first season of MLB fantasy ball:
that's correct - cooch led the beantown sox to victory in a big way... i'm sure lavinius did the same w/ his squad - post the results lavinius!Saturday, September 08, 2007
Curtis Granderson, Congrats!
DETROIT (AP) - Curtis Granderson hit his 20th home run on Friday night against the Seattle Mariners, making the Detroit Tigers outfielder just the sixth player since 1900 with at least 20 home runs, 20 doubles and 20 triples in one season.
"It was distracting me at the wrong time," Granderson said after Detroit beat Seattle 6-1. "I'm in the outfield, and there's a foul ball and I'm thinking about it."
Granderson joined the 20-20-20 club with Kansas City's George Brett (1979), Willie Mays of the New York Giants (1957), Cleveland's Jeff Heath (1941), St. Louis' Jim Bottomley (1928), and Frank Schulte of the Chicago Cubs (1911).
In just his second full season, Granderson leads the majors with 21 triples and has 36 doubles.
[full story]
"It was distracting me at the wrong time," Granderson said after Detroit beat Seattle 6-1. "I'm in the outfield, and there's a foul ball and I'm thinking about it."
Granderson joined the 20-20-20 club with Kansas City's George Brett (1979), Willie Mays of the New York Giants (1957), Cleveland's Jeff Heath (1941), St. Louis' Jim Bottomley (1928), and Frank Schulte of the Chicago Cubs (1911).
In just his second full season, Granderson leads the majors with 21 triples and has 36 doubles.
[full story]
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Hey Cooch, riddle me this...
Has a pitcher ever no-hit a team-- and in his next decision pick up a win as a reliever?
Pottery MF'n Buchholz!
Pottery MF'n Buchholz!
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
When girls don't put out!!
This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't
even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.
Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."
She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."
We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't
even know how to play tennis.
I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"
I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
bitch knows I'm smarter than her.
Sunday, September 02, 2007
Saturday, September 01, 2007
Print it, laminate it, frame it
Clay throws no-hitter in second MLB start!
BOSTON -- For 23-year-old right-hander Clay Buchholz, whose understated Beaumont, Texas, drawl bespeaks a grasp of higher powers, the moment came around the seventh inning of his second Major League start.
"You know when everybody knows what's going on," said Buchholz on Saturday night, still wearing his Red Sox jersey, "and then you look at the scoreboard, and then say, 'Oh, Lord.'"
And so the 6-foot-3 rookie, whose Major League focus matched a singularly dominant repertoire on one historic night, finally noticed a lack of Red Sox sitting near him in the dugout. Then he went out and became only the third pitcher since 1900 to throw a no-hitter in his first or second Major League start.
By completing the 17th no-hitter in Red Sox history, Buchholz accomplished at such an early stage in his career what Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling never did in a Red Sox uniform.
Buchholz struck out nine, walked three and hit a batter as Boston won, 10-0, before 36,819 thrilled fans. And he threw 115 pitches before a workload-leery Red Sox front office, which gleefully celebrated with hugs and fist pumps on the last offering, a 1-2 curveball that froze Nick Markakis.
Buchholz joined Mark Buehrle of the White Sox (April 18) and Justin Verlander of the Tigers (June 12) among the pitchers to throw a no-hitter this season -- all of whom are American Leaguers. He also became the 21st rookie to throw a no-hitter, the first since Florida's Anibal Sanchez on Sept. 6, 2006.
According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Buchholz is the third pitcher since 1900 to throw a no-hitter in his first or second Major League start. Bobo Hollomon threw a no-hitter in his debut on May 6, 1953, for the St. Louis Browns at home against the Philadelphia A's, and Wilson Alvarez did it in his second start on Aug. 11, 1991, for the White Sox at Baltimore.
Considered one of the franchise's top pitching prospects since his arrival as a sandwich pick -- 42nd overall -- out of Angelina College in 2005, compensation for Martinez leaving as a free agent, Buchholz didn't take long to establish himself in the Majors.
For nine innings, Buchholz sparkled among thousands of flashbulbs. He commanded his fastball early, working in a devastating array of offspeed pitches.
After each out, typically the result of a gravity-defying curveball or an immaculately released changeup, the nervous Red Sox rookie nibbled on his glove, enjoying the scene. No later than the seventh inning, the crowd had reached a fever pitch.
Miguel Tejada led off the seventh with a hot shot up the middle. Second baseman Dustin Pedroia dove to his right, stabbing the bounding ball. He turned and threw. Tejada, hurtling headfirst into first, was late.
"To me," Tejada said, "that was the best play they made the whole night."
Buchholz's defensive reputation lags behind the Gold Glove candidate Pedroia's. Nevertheless, he came up with his own top play in the eighth, snaring a Jay Payton rocket on the mound and throwing him out.
Still, Jason Varitek took special care to note the impressive ground that center fielder Coco Crisp covered on a pair of Corey Patterson drives to the outfield gap -- one in the sixth, one in the ninth. That was the most "overlooked" performance, the Sox catcher said.
Answered Crisp, "All the credit goes to [Buchholz]."
"We're back there just trying to make plays for him," Crisp said. "We're his pawns ... and you know, we've got to come up with the plays. That's our job."
The night belonged to Buchholz. When he rang up the final out, a delayed punchout that sent the crowd and the home dugout into a frenzy, the Red Sox spilled onto the field, forming a bounding huddle around the rookie pitcher.
Crisp and third baseman Mike Lowell expressed disappointment that David Ortiz -- "camera hog," Lowell called Big Papi -- beat them to the punch.
"You're rooting for him," Lowell said. "You're absolutely rooting for him."
After the game, Crisp ticked off the many ways in which Buchholz took control.
"He was able to stay focused," he said, "and not allow too many hard-hit balls. And the ones that were hit stayed up in the air."
Perhaps most importantly, Crisp said, on a night when he began the fifth and sixth by walking leadoff men -- "a couple of big innings that can throw a pitcher off" -- Buchholz "was able to relax, go back out there, take a couple of deep breaths at times and stay in his rhythm."
Before the game, Red Sox manager Terry Francona spoke of a letdown in Buchholz's Triple-A performance after he made his Major League debut on Aug. 17. For two weeks, the prospect shuttled across upstate New York, losing his next two starts as a member of the Pawtucket Red Sox.
But, Francona added, "I think we still love this kid to death. And we're excited for a chance to run him out there and see how he does."
Kevin Youkilis added a three-run home run to the cause. Still, the Red Sox's 10-run outburst and the circumstances of the effort -- the Yankees won in the afternoon, staying five games back in the AL East -- remained secondary to Buchholz's singular brilliance.
"I don't even have a word for it," Buchholz said.
CONGRATS CLAY! You're serving the Lavinius Mancrush population proud!
Clay Buchholz throws no-hitter in 2nd major league start!
- 17th no-hitter in Red Sox history; 11th at Fenway
- First Red Sox rookie to throw a no-hitter
- Only the third player in MLB history to throw a no-hitter in their first or second start. (Bobo Hollomon did it in his first start on May 6, 1953, for the St. Louis Browns at home against the Philadelphia Athletics, and Wilson Alvarez did it in his second start on Aug. 11, 1991, for the Chicago White Sox at Baltimore.)
No wonder he's Lavinius' Mancrush v.2!!!!
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