Annoyances

DRIVERS

Drivers in front of you who turn without signaling.

Drivers who veer into your lane without seeing you in their blind spot.

Drivers who take forever and a day to get into a turn lane.

Drivers who go 10 miles or more below the speed limit. I mean really, if you don't have the confidence to go faster, get the F off the road.

People over the age of 65 that drive. This just in: Your dwindling reflexes aren't an asset on the roadways! Two words: Public Transportation. Or pay a chauffeur. The majority of you muh'fuckas are loaded anyway.

GROCERY SHOPPERS/STORE

My big one here is douche bags who leave their cart in the middle of the aisle. How effing hard is it to pull off to the side to let other shoppers pass by?

Having only three lines open when there's 5+ people in each line. Um, ya think maybe you should open another register?

Cashiers: Don't ask me how I'm doing because it's insincere and you couldn't care less. If you really feel the urge to show off your superior customer service skills, ask me if I found everything I needed.

Cashiers that feel the need to comment or ask questions about my groceries. Not really interested in talking to you Mr. or Mrs./Miss Cashier. Just ring up my fucking order so I can be on my merry way.

GRAMMAR

It's amazing the number of people that can't spell "lose" or "losing." THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS LOOSING you "looser."

It's and its...do we have to over that again? It's= it is. It's called a contraction. Its= possession. Your pee brain has a mind of its own.

"Definately" is not a word. "Defiantly", are you for real??? Look, just take the word "definite" and add "ly" to the end.

Imbeciles who mix up past and passed. Ex: "Cash had 62 past balls." And in the same game, Joe Mauer had 43 present balls. :)

"The Red Sox 'one' the game." As opposed to the Red Sox two the game?

MISC

Chicks who wear designer sunglasses bigger than Kareem's goggles. Hey biznatch, it's neither attractive nor stylish unless your face is ugly enough to cover up.

In the movie theater, junior high and high school kids who feel the need to talk and text message during a movie. Hey dorks, what part of turn your phone off and don't talk during the show did you miss?

People that chew their popcorn loud enough for the patrons in the next theater to hear.

People that talk loud enough on their cell phones for an entire room full of people to hear. Really, I don't give an ish about your phone call and neither do the 150 other people within earshot of you.

Dog owners who walk their dogs and don't clean up after them. Be careful. Rusty's deuce just might end up smeared into your windshield.

Random people at the gas station who feel compelled to ask you for a dollar because "I just need enough gas to get home." First off all, you're full of shit, assclown. And secondly, how fucking far do you think you're going to get on a dollar of gas? Ain't falling for your scam.

Poor English speakers whose primary job is serving the American public. I'm looking at YOU fast-food workers, contractors, and customer service people. I mean Jesus H. Christ, if you're going to deal with English speaking people, at least learn the fargin language! Look, I'm not knocking foreigners. They deserve the opportunity to establish a life in the U.S. legally. All I'm askin' is make an effort learn our primary language. Is that asking too much? I swear George Washington is rolling over in his grave.