Union Station
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Last full day in St. Louis for us, so we decided to hit a couple tourist attractions. Our first stop was Union Station. Union Station was once the largest rail station in the world, but was transformed into a marketplace in the mid-80s after rail traffic ceased operations. Anyhoo, a H
yatt Regency, tons of shops, and a mall-like atmosphere highlights the historical landmark. We wandered about for a bit before we decided to have our caricatures done. Lemme just say that the "artist" was very pissy and shouldn't be in any type of service industry. Lavinius was first up, and I laughed as the artist captured L's large ears, nose, and thin face. Lavinius got his revenge, laughing at me when it was my turn, encouraging the onlookers to laugh too. (See photo at left for Cooch's caricature.)We were on a mission at the Station to find a football to toss around. A stop in an official Budweiser store and we were in business - they had a cool multi-colored ball with mesh covering, perfect for gripping. L and I thought the ball might cost something like, say, $10 or so, but were sticker-shocked when the cashier rang it up at over $26! Zoiks... We dropped our freshly rendered caricatures in the rental car outside the Station and played toss with our overpriced football in the park across the street. I'd dare say that, with my arm and Lavinius' speed, we'd make a great tandem in the NFL! It was extremely hot (probably 100 degrees) but we survived due to a light breeze and wind-blown water from a nearby water fountain. Time for lunch... Once again, Lavinius and Cooch ended up eating at Hard Rock Cafe, located just outside the Station. And, yes, Cooch got another turkey burger. I think Lavinius ended up with steak...
The Arch Tour
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You can't leave St. Louis without taking the Arch tour... Click here to check out the official website and see the various Arch activities. We bought tickets for the "Journey to the Top" and the documentary movie. The Journey to the Top was pretty interesting; we were transported to the top of the Arch by a tram - the tram was a space-aged pod that was supposed to hold five people, but only comfortably fit about two adults. Poor circulation and a pod stuffed full of tourists made for a very warm and cozy ride to the top of the arch for L and I. Picture a 630-foot ascent in a peanut shell with a small group of strangers in a circle-jerk formation, breathing heavily in your face. We snapped a few photos from the top of the Arch - a very nice view - and rode the tram back down in time to catch the documentary movie. The movie, "Monument to the Dream," was nicely done. It was truly amazing to see the building of the Arch and the engineering behind it - and then to realize that we were at the top of the Arch just a few minutes before.
Game 1 of the NBA Finals
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Back to the hotel for us, with time to spare for pre-game hype of the NBA Finals Game 1. Detroit Pistons vs. San Antonio Spurs. My man Lavinius is a Pistons fan, so you can imagine his excitement. Anyhoo, we ordered some pizza from a local delivery joint - the pizza was average. I had made the following predictions: Spurs would win the game; Pistons would score less than 80 points; Pistons would lead after the first quarter; Spurs would outscore the Pistons in the third and fourth quarters; and the person in Section 110, Row B, Seat 12 would be named Kwamee. Who friggin' knew that all those predictions would be correct? Seriously, folks, I was dead-on with my predictions, to Lavinius' dismay. Spurs won the game 84-69. Needless to say, L was upset...
The Incident at Kinko's
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First off, let me just preface this by saying that I hate self-proclaimed geniuses. I mean, if you've got to persuade someone into thinking that you're smart, are you really that intelligent? Lavinius and I went to Kinko's after the basketball game to get some "real" high-speed Internet access. We hadn't had much contact with the real world since we started our trip, and my inbox was filling up. At Kinko's, L and I were on different workstations, mindin' our own bidness, when L makes a statement about the Bank of America. Some dude behind us chimes in with his two cents, somehow segueing to a tirade about how we'll run out of bullets during the next World War, how our computer systems will be rendered useless by terrorist strikes, and how everyone should carry a gun.
"Are you on drugs," I asked. "Seriously."
The man, about mid-40s and barely cohesive, was working on a large Starbucks coffee and talking to anybody who would listen. I decided to humor him and lend him an ear. Course, the guy was about as credible as Bill Clinton in Monica-gate.
"I've got three great ideas," the guy said, and assumed we'd take him at his word.
"Really, what are they," I asked.
The man replied with, "First, I'm going to sell the government lightweight armor for humvees. It'll be perfect for battle." He continued with, "Second, I'm going to design a bomb made of a jelly-like substance that will kill the enemy on contact." Then, he proceeded with, "I can't remember the third idea... I'm tired."
Um, okay. I start the barrage of questions like - How much will the armor cost? Given that the majority of enemy threats to our humvees are landmines, isn't the armor worthless at that point? This jelly-like bomb of yours - lemme get this straight - only kills those who come in direct contact with it? Once again, I had to clarify, "Are you high right now?" The man was a bit dejected - his former audiences probably did not challenge him, but just listened to him as though it were gospel. I started asking him other questions about his background, what he does for a living, etc. and the guy started stuttering, obviously shaken. "I own a company. I develop software for major corporations...," he said. He started muttering some other shit about what the company does, which seemed totally unrelated. His company, as he projected it, was the ACME of everything.
Let's see. A guy owns an information technology company and he's at Kinko's paying for Internet access? His stories had more holes than Hugh Heffner's Playmates' panties. Fuck him, I say to myself, it's time to go. The man kept sputtering shit, in no particular order, and about no particular subject, so I had to cut him off abruptly. I nod to Lavinius and tell the man, "On that note, it's time for us to go..."
The Big Bang Redux
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Lavinius discussed "The Big Bang" in the "...Day 4" post, so I won't go into much detail here. Basically, I wanted to hit The Big Bang one last time before leaving St. Louis. The hosts weren't as talented as the previous night's group, but they were still entertaining. I was basically there to see if someone could pull off "November Rain," so I put my request in as soon as we arrived. Within the hour, I could hear the opening notes of the popular Guns 'N Roses tune, and my eyes must have widened. Everyone in the crowd (maybe 20 people at that point in the morning) was signing along as best as they could - it wasn't Axl Rose on stage by any means, but the guy did a nice job on a tough song. At the end of the night, shortly after last call, the hosts were yelling to the crowd, asking if we had any last requests. "Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana," I yelled twice, just in case the first time wasn't loud enough. Sure enough, the guy starts tickling the ivory, busting out in a piano-rendition of the grunge tune. Again, those left in the audience loved the tune and were singing it loudly.
It was a great way to wrap up our last night in St. Louis. We were back at the hotel around 3:00 a.m., getting some sleep for our side trip to Indianapolis...
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