Lavinius = The Modern Day MacGyver

Funny story. This morning was trash day. My cat filled up his litter box because he's a very regular kitty. So like I always do, I dumped the "contents" of the litter box into the trash with the intentions of giving him a fresh batch of litter. One problem-- I was out of litter! So now here is this empty litter box with absolutely no signs of litter anywhere. With it being one in the morning, obviously all the stores are closed so I can't pick any up. So I really had to get creative. After racking my brain for 15 minutes and contemplating suicide, an idea popped into my head!

I decided to use sugar in place of litter. So I went in my fridge, took out a fairly large bag of it, and proceeded to empty the contents into his litter box. Unfortunately, all it did was cover the bottom. There wasn't enough sugar to give the litter any depth, so it was going to be tough for him to "bury his stash."

In any event, as luck would have it, five minutes after I poured the sugar in (and laughing my ass off), the cat goes in there. I'm thinking, "oh man, this is gonna be interesting." So the cat decides to take a nice long piss. And I mean long! How long? Tom Hanks long in A League of Their Own. If you haven't seen that, go rent it. But anyway, after a good five minutes of drainin' the lizard, he emerges from the box. I go over there to "assess the damages", and there's a fuckin flood in there! All the sugar I put in there was replaced with a pool of cat urin! I was repulsed! So quickly, I had to remedy the situation. I actually had some confectionary sugar in my fridge, too, so I took the package of that and started dumping it all over the cat piss until it was completely submerged underneath it. Luckilly, I had enough of the stuff to bury it completely.

I went to bed last night with my cat's litter consisting of both regular sugar and confectionary sugar. Hey, if that affects this years voting in the "Pet Owner of the Year" awards, so be it. But when I went downstairs this morning, I prayed that he didn't drop bombs in there. Luckilly, he didn't. No dookie sighting was a big plus! I had dodged a huge bullet. Who knew what kind of repugnant odor the combination of dookie, piss, granular sugar, and confectionary sugar would leave in my wonderful, fragrant home.

Not wanting the cat to provide a re-inactment of the tsunamis in Thailand with another five minute long pissfest, I embarked to BJ's to pick up a 33 lb container of litter. As funny as it would be to continue to watch him bury his dookie in sugar, he needs the litter, otherwise, he'll start tasting the litter and I'll have a diabetic cat.

Another thought before I bring this story to a close. Do you think this will influence neighbors coming over and asking for sugar?