RED SOX 2007 AL EAST CHAMPS!!!

Cooch, how sweet is it to finally be able to call our Sox that? After YEARS of coming up short against the arrogant Yanks, including narrowly missing out on the division the last four years, how sweet does this taste?! 12 fucking years since the last division title. Although a division title isn't the "ultimate goal", I'd be lying if I said I didn't want this BAD.

Nice to see Dice-K end the season with a strong outing. He's the wild card to the Sox playoff run, IMO. Him pitching well is gonna be paramount to the Sox advancing far in the playoffs. Especially with him being the #2 on this team.

In the meantime, magic number is ZERO, snitches!!!

Rusty Cunts

2007 Red Sox first team to clinch playoff berth:Francona first manager to lead the Sox to the postseason 3 times!

The Boston Red Sox became the first team in the majors to clinch a playoff spot this season, rallying on ninth-inning home runs by Jason Varitek and Julio Lugo to beat the Tampa Bay Devil Rays 8-6 Saturday.

Francona becomes the first Red Sox manager in team history to lead a team to the postseason 3 times...

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Richard Pole

Fox Fantasy Baseball Sucks

My league hasn't updated playoff stats in over a week now. Not a huge deal since I earned a first round bye, but most of the second round of playoffs aren't being updated. Everyone's record displays 0-0 with no points scored. What a waste of time to be in week 25ish and the system shitting the bed. All teams are unmanageable at this point. Fucking waste.

Lavinius takes down Cooch in first-ever fantasy sports showdown

A historical phenomenon took place over the weekend. Something so big that it threatened to change life on this planet as we know it.

Lavinius and Cooch are both avid fantasy sports participants. They've always competed in separate leagues, but never against each other.

That was fixing to change when Lavinius extended an invite to the Cooch to join a fantasy football league. Of course, Cooch gladly accepted said invite.

The league is an ESPN league entitled "Head On" (from "apply directly to the forehead" fame). It's a league comprised of friends and former softball teammates of Lavinius with a few random screennames sprinkled in.

So now the table was set. Lavinius and Cooch were finally in a fantasy sports league together. Now it was just a question of "when do they play each other?"

They didn't have to wait long for their showdown. Week 2 was the date. The place? Right here.

The results?

Clickage here:



There ya have it, folks, a victory for yours truly. Despite the loss of Brandon Jacobs, Lavinius still put it down on the Cooch man. I'm certain Cooch will reply to this crying for an asterisk, but it was Terrell Owens that was "filming Miami's defensive plays" during a TD celebration in the 4th quarter. :)

Ball-busting aside, it was a good battle. Smack talk was at a minimum and good sportsmanship at a maximum. Cooch actually sent Lavinius good luck wishes in the spirit of competition.

The rematch is slated for week 10.

The Chinese Newlyweds

A Chinese couple gets married - and she's a virgin. Truth be told, he is none too experienced either. On the wedding night, she cowers naked under the bed sheets as her husband undresses. He climbs in next to her and tries to be reassuring.

"My darring" he says, "I know dis you fus time and you berry frighten. I plomise you, I give you anyting you wan, I do anyting jus anyting you wan, you say. Whatchou wan?" he says, trying to sound experienced, which he hopes will impress his virgin bride.

A thoughtful silence follows and he waits patiently (and eagerly) for her request. She eventually replies shyly and unsure, "I wan ...... numba 69."

More thoughtful silence, this time from him. Eventually, in a puzzled tone he queries........ "You want... Beef wif Broccori?!"

Shady Brady and Bill Belicheat

BREAKING NEWS: Patriots Change Logo

Belichick not quite the genius I had originally thought...

Belichick was synonymous with genius in my opinion - "was" is the key word. Sure, every coach wants to gain an edge on the field, but spying on the other team and relaying signals during the game? I just wonder how many of those Patriots regular season wins, playoff wins, and Super Bowl wins were the results of Belichick's cheating schemes over the years...

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Snapshot of Dolphin Stadium during Nats/Marlins game today

The estimates of people in the stands ranged in the 400 neighborhood, and about half that were on hand to see Todd Linden's game-winning hit in the 12th inning, a grounder that snaked its way through the middle of the infield to bring home pinch-runner Reggie Abercrombie to result in a 5-4 victory over the Washington Nationals.

The Nationals, a team in its third season in Washington, will open a new ballpark when the cherry blossoms are in bloom next spring while the Marlins -- winners of two world titles -- still languish in the House Joe Robbie Built.

The announced paid crowd was 10,121, but most of them stayed home. When the game ended, there were nine people in the outfield bleachers and about 200 around the stadium.

''It's a little sad that you can play where you can count the people in the stands,'' Marlins first baseman Mike Jacobs said. ``But that's the way it is down here, and it's not going to change until we get a new stadium.

``I guess people would rather watch us on TV. Why would you want to come and sit in the heat? It's tough. If we had a stadium with a roof it would help a lot.''

If someone bets you $1,000,000...

that you can't go a whole year without talking, do you take the bet?

The parameters:

You are locked in a glass-enclosed room, mic'd up with surveillance. You are not allowed to speak for 12 months effective the second you're in the glass-room. The room is a mini-house, equipped with a kitchen, bedroom, bathroom, laundry, television...basically all the amenities of a traditional house.

Do you take the bet? $1 million to go one full year without talking. If you utter one single word, you lose.

Results of Lavinius's aka Team Rugged's '07 Fantasy Baseball Season

Sorry for the small font (that's as big as I can make it), but if you put your eyes 1/2 inch away from the screen, you will see total domination by Lavinius in a 14 team league. First place was claimed on Week 2 and maintained in near wire-to-wire fashion.

Now we'll see what the playoffs have in store...

Results of Cooch's first season of MLB fantasy ball:

that's correct - cooch led the beantown sox to victory in a big way... i'm sure lavinius did the same w/ his squad - post the results lavinius!

Curtis Granderson, Congrats!

DETROIT (AP) - Curtis Granderson hit his 20th home run on Friday night against the Seattle Mariners, making the Detroit Tigers outfielder just the sixth player since 1900 with at least 20 home runs, 20 doubles and 20 triples in one season.

"It was distracting me at the wrong time," Granderson said after Detroit beat Seattle 6-1. "I'm in the outfield, and there's a foul ball and I'm thinking about it."

Granderson joined the 20-20-20 club with Kansas City's George Brett (1979), Willie Mays of the New York Giants (1957), Cleveland's Jeff Heath (1941), St. Louis' Jim Bottomley (1928), and Frank Schulte of the Chicago Cubs (1911).

In just his second full season, Granderson leads the majors with 21 triples and has 36 doubles.

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Hey Cooch, riddle me this...

Has a pitcher ever no-hit a team-- and in his next decision pick up a win as a reliever?

Pottery MF'n Buchholz!

When girls don't put out!!

This was written by a guy... it's pretty damn smart.

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.

I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to
hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough
for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man."

She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to
sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, "Lets get a pair for each
outfit."

We went on to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't
even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
"WHAT?"

I then said, "Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added,"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least that
bitch knows I'm smarter than her.

Clay Buchholz/Lloyd Christmas separated at birth?

Print it, laminate it, frame it

Clay throws no-hitter in second MLB start!

BOSTON -- For 23-year-old right-hander Clay Buchholz, whose understated Beaumont, Texas, drawl bespeaks a grasp of higher powers, the moment came around the seventh inning of his second Major League start.

"You know when everybody knows what's going on," said Buchholz on Saturday night, still wearing his Red Sox jersey, "and then you look at the scoreboard, and then say, 'Oh, Lord.'"

And so the 6-foot-3 rookie, whose Major League focus matched a singularly dominant repertoire on one historic night, finally noticed a lack of Red Sox sitting near him in the dugout. Then he went out and became only the third pitcher since 1900 to throw a no-hitter in his first or second Major League start.

By completing the 17th no-hitter in Red Sox history, Buchholz accomplished at such an early stage in his career what Roger Clemens, Pedro Martinez and Curt Schilling never did in a Red Sox uniform.

Buchholz struck out nine, walked three and hit a batter as Boston won, 10-0, before 36,819 thrilled fans. And he threw 115 pitches before a workload-leery Red Sox front office, which gleefully celebrated with hugs and fist pumps on the last offering, a 1-2 curveball that froze Nick Markakis.

Buchholz joined Mark Buehrle of the White Sox (April 18) and Justin Verlander of the Tigers (June 12) among the pitchers to throw a no-hitter this season -- all of whom are American Leaguers. He also became the 21st rookie to throw a no-hitter, the first since Florida's Anibal Sanchez on Sept. 6, 2006.

According to the Elias Sports Bureau, Buchholz is the third pitcher since 1900 to throw a no-hitter in his first or second Major League start. Bobo Hollomon threw a no-hitter in his debut on May 6, 1953, for the St. Louis Browns at home against the Philadelphia A's, and Wilson Alvarez did it in his second start on Aug. 11, 1991, for the White Sox at Baltimore.

Considered one of the franchise's top pitching prospects since his arrival as a sandwich pick -- 42nd overall -- out of Angelina College in 2005, compensation for Martinez leaving as a free agent, Buchholz didn't take long to establish himself in the Majors.

For nine innings, Buchholz sparkled among thousands of flashbulbs. He commanded his fastball early, working in a devastating array of offspeed pitches.

After each out, typically the result of a gravity-defying curveball or an immaculately released changeup, the nervous Red Sox rookie nibbled on his glove, enjoying the scene. No later than the seventh inning, the crowd had reached a fever pitch.

Miguel Tejada led off the seventh with a hot shot up the middle. Second baseman Dustin Pedroia dove to his right, stabbing the bounding ball. He turned and threw. Tejada, hurtling headfirst into first, was late.

"To me," Tejada said, "that was the best play they made the whole night."

Buchholz's defensive reputation lags behind the Gold Glove candidate Pedroia's. Nevertheless, he came up with his own top play in the eighth, snaring a Jay Payton rocket on the mound and throwing him out.

Still, Jason Varitek took special care to note the impressive ground that center fielder Coco Crisp covered on a pair of Corey Patterson drives to the outfield gap -- one in the sixth, one in the ninth. That was the most "overlooked" performance, the Sox catcher said.

Answered Crisp, "All the credit goes to [Buchholz]."

"We're back there just trying to make plays for him," Crisp said. "We're his pawns ... and you know, we've got to come up with the plays. That's our job."

The night belonged to Buchholz. When he rang up the final out, a delayed punchout that sent the crowd and the home dugout into a frenzy, the Red Sox spilled onto the field, forming a bounding huddle around the rookie pitcher.

Crisp and third baseman Mike Lowell expressed disappointment that David Ortiz -- "camera hog," Lowell called Big Papi -- beat them to the punch.

"You're rooting for him," Lowell said. "You're absolutely rooting for him."

After the game, Crisp ticked off the many ways in which Buchholz took control.

"He was able to stay focused," he said, "and not allow too many hard-hit balls. And the ones that were hit stayed up in the air."

Perhaps most importantly, Crisp said, on a night when he began the fifth and sixth by walking leadoff men -- "a couple of big innings that can throw a pitcher off" -- Buchholz "was able to relax, go back out there, take a couple of deep breaths at times and stay in his rhythm."

Before the game, Red Sox manager Terry Francona spoke of a letdown in Buchholz's Triple-A performance after he made his Major League debut on Aug. 17. For two weeks, the prospect shuttled across upstate New York, losing his next two starts as a member of the Pawtucket Red Sox.

But, Francona added, "I think we still love this kid to death. And we're excited for a chance to run him out there and see how he does."

Kevin Youkilis added a three-run home run to the cause. Still, the Red Sox's 10-run outburst and the circumstances of the effort -- the Yankees won in the afternoon, staying five games back in the AL East -- remained secondary to Buchholz's singular brilliance.

"I don't even have a word for it," Buchholz said.



CONGRATS CLAY! You're serving the Lavinius Mancrush population proud!

Clay Buchholz throws no-hitter in 2nd major league start!

• 17th no-hitter in Red Sox history; 11th at Fenway
• First Red Sox rookie to throw a no-hitter
• Only the third player in MLB history to throw a no-hitter in their first or second start. (Bobo Hollomon did it in his first start on May 6, 1953, for the St. Louis Browns at home against the Philadelphia Athletics, and Wilson Alvarez did it in his second start on Aug. 11, 1991, for the Chicago White Sox at Baltimore.)

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No wonder he's Lavinius' Mancrush v.2!!!!