Fear of...pickles?

Girl on Maury Povich is terrified to the bone of pickles! We're not talking snakes, or spiders, or even the dark. We talkin' PICKLES!

Picklephobia

Phillies' Myers charged with hitting wife

BOSTON (AP) - Philadelphia Phillies pitcher Brett Myers was arrested Friday and charged with hitting his wife in the face on a street not far from Fenway Park.

The team's best starter, who was scheduled to pitch Saturday against the Red Sox, pleaded not guilty to assault charges at his arraignment Friday in Boston Municipal Court, said David Procopio, a spokesman for the Suffolk County District Attorney's office. Myers' next court date is Aug. 4.

full story

...

My guess: like most other battered women, she probably "just doesn't listen."

Shit. That's bad... Just kidding, really... Myers plead not guilty to the charges.

where are they now? paxton crawford, pitcher/steroid user

paxton crawford, after 10 seasons of minor league ball (only 15 games in the mlb with the red sox), called it quits and is now working at the family farm in arkansas.

crawford has recently admitted to using steroids in the minors prior to his promotion to the sox in 2001, and used HGH during his brief mlb stay. crawford was nothing better than average, finally realizing that life in the independent league and AA-ball wasn't his, errr, beef. good luck on the family farm, crawford. your 15 games with the sox will never be forgotten. (ahhhh, who is paxton crawford?)

a couple of red sox rarities...

1. tim wakefield actually got some run support tonight. the sox put up 8 early runs, while wakes only gave up a penny en route to a victory... box score ... in wake's 8 losses, the sox have scored a total of 6 runs!

2. alex cora, after a 3-3 performance, is now hitting .304 and sports a .396 OBP (see box score link above) - obviously, he will not continue the pace, but when's the last time that you could say cora was an offensive machine? my props to cora for being solid all season...

Best Porn Movies

Batman and Throbbin'
Forrest Hump
Filthy Lil' Pornabees
The Da Vinci Load
The Hunt for Pink October
Romancing the Bone
Yank My Noodle It's A Dandy
Some Like It Wet
2069: A Space Orgasm (featuring the immortal line, "Open my pod bay doors, Hal!" The sequel, "3069: The Year We Make Cuntact", wasn't as good.)
Cool Hand-Job Luke
Poonstruck
The French Tickler Connection
Five Easy Pieces (they didn't even have to change the title!)
Rambone
Splatman
Orgazmo
Weapons of Ass Destruction (WADs)
Hung WANKENSTEIN
Sperms of Endearment
Yo Quiero Taco Smell
Grand Theft Anal

from my homies at Canestime

In desperate need of a third starter, Theo calls Marlins GM Larry Beinfest asking about Dontrelle Willis

Theo: (*hits up Larry Beinfest on speed dial*)

(*ring*, *ring*)

Beinfest: (*looks at caller ID*)

Beinfest: (*picks up phone*) Yo, Theo! Why am I not shocked to be hearing from you?

Theo: I don't know, why aren't you?

Beinfest: Uh, Theo, that was a rhetorical question.

Theo: (*long pause*) Uh, yeah, I knew that.

Beinfest: Anyway, you interested in stealing some more of my players...I mean making a trade?

Theo: Yeah Larry. We're interested in Dontrelle.

Beinfest: He's off the market.

Theo: (under breath) I heard that one before. (/under breath)

Beinfest: What was that?

Theo: Oh, nothing.

Beinfest: We have no interest in trading Dontrelle.
(under breath) Geez isn't Beckett enough? Fuck take Josh Johnson and Scott Olsen while you're at it. (/under breath)

Theo: No, obviously Beckett is not enough otherwise I wouldn't be calling you again.

Beinfest: Geez Theo, can't you let us enjoy the few players we have left
worth a wet turd in peace?

Theo: Sorry, can't do that. In case you haven't noticed, we're trying to beat the Yankees here. Unlike you we're actually *trying* to win.

Beinfest: Hey go fuck yourself you Cooch guitar playing wannabee!

Theo: Look, this is gay. Just tell me what you'd want for Dontrelle if he were on the market.

Beinfest: Well, Jon Lester is a good starting point.

Theo: Okay, who else?

Beinfest: And Hansen.

Theo: (under breath) shit (/under breath)

Beinfest: I'm sorry?

Theo: (disgusted) Lester and Hansen? (/disgusted)

Beinfest: Yup

Theo: You gotta be fucking shitting me

Beinfest: Dude, we're not gonna just *give* a 20 game winner who was second in the Cy Young voting last year and is just 23 years old making shiznit for a salary...away for free.

Theo: (*sigh*) Fine, let me sleep on it, ok?

Beinfest: Do what chu gotta do, Epstine (the "stine" pronounced like "wine")

Theo: Peace out Larry

Beinfest: Hey, thanks for Hanley!!!

Beinfest: (*click*)

Theo: (under breath) motherfucker... (/underbreath)

Theo: (*click*)

Check out this erection