Thursday, February 22, 2007

R.I.P. D.J.

Former Celtics great Johnson dies at 52
Associated Press Posted

Dennis Johnson, the star NBA guard who was part of three championship teams and combined with Larry Bird in one of the great postseason plays, died Thursday after collapsing at the end of practice while coaching a developmental team. He was 52.

Johnson, coach of the Austin Toros, was unconscious and in cardiac arrest when paramedics arrived at Austin Convention Center, said Warren Hassinger, spokesman for Austin-Travis County Emergency Medical Services.

Paramedics tried to resuscitate him for 23 minutes before he was taken to a hospital and pronounced dead, Hassinger added. Mayra Freeman, a spokeswoman for the medical examiner's office, said there will be autopsy.

The Toros postponed home games Friday and Saturday nights, the NBA Development League said.

Johnson, a five-time All-Star and one of the top defensive guards, was part of the last Boston Celtics dynasty. He spent 14 seasons in the league and retired after the 1989-90 season. He played on title teams with the Celtics in 1984 and 1986 and with the Seattle SuperSonics in 1979, when he was the NBA finals MVP.

"Whether he was leading his teams to NBA championships or teaching young men the meaning of professionalism, Dennis Johnson's contributions to the game went far beyond the basketball court," NBA commissioner David Stern said. "Dennis was a man of extraordinary character with a tremendous passion for the game."

Johnson was a favorite teammate of Bird's, and the two were part of one of the most memorable plays in Celtics history.

During the fifth game of the 1987 Eastern Conference finals against Detroit, Bird stole Isiah Thomas' inbounds pass under Boston's basket and fed Johnson, who drove in for the winning layup. Boston won the series in seven games but lost to the Los Angeles Lakers in the NBA finals.

"Dennis was a great player, one of the best teammates I ever had, and a wonderful person," said Bird, now president of the Indiana Pacers. "My thoughts and condolences are with his family at this difficult time."

Bill Laimbeer, the center on that Pistons team, remembered Johnson as a "great player on a great ballclub." "He played with passion and grit," Laimbeer said. "It was fun to play games like that. You always enjoyed it. It made for not only great games, but great entertainment."

In the 1984 finals, Johnson guarded Magic Johnson effectively in the last four games. In 1985, he hit a last-second jumper against Los Angeles that won the fourth game. In 1986, he was part of a team that featured four Hall of Famers - Bird, Kevin McHale, Robert Parish and Bill Walton.
Johnson had a reputation for delivering in big games.

"I hate to lose," he once said. "I accept it when it comes, but I still hate it. That's the way I am." He averaged 14.1 points and 5.0 assists for his career. When he retired, he was the 11th player in NBA history to total 15,000 points and 5,000 assists. Johnson made one all-NBA first team and one second team. Six times he made the all-defensive first team, including five consecutive seasons (1979-83).

Johnson was born Sept. 18, 1954, in Compton, Calif. He played in college at Pepperdine and was drafted by Seattle in 1976. Johnson was traded to Phoenix in 1980 and Boston in 1983.

Wednesday, February 21, 2007

Friday, February 09, 2007

RIP Anna Nicole

From all of us at the Lavinius and Cooch blogspot...

Breast In Peace

Saturday, December 30, 2006

that's a lovely scarf, saddam....

what a nice way to ring in the new year!




Saddam Hussein executed, ending era in Iraq
Iraqis cheer after deposed dictator hanged for 148 Shiite deaths in 1982

NBC News and news services

BAGHDAD, Iraq - Saddam Hussein struggled briefly after American military guards handed him over to Iraqi executioners before dawn Saturday. But as his final moments approached and masked executioners slipped a black cloth and noose around his neck, he grew calm.

In a final moment of defiance, he refused a hood to cover his eyes.

Hours after Saddam faced the same fate he was accused of inflicting on countless thousands during a quarter-century of ruthless power, Iraqi state television showed grainy video of what it said was his body, the head uncovered and the neck twisted at a sharp angle.

[rest of story]


Thursday, December 14, 2006

The Official Lavinius "State of the Nation" Address

The starting nine as presently constituted, and likely go into the season with:

Lugo
Youk
Papi
Manny
Drew
Lowell
Tek
Pedroia
Crisp

Good speed and OBP at the top
Outstanding power bats/OBP in the middle
Solid 6 hitter, declining but serviceable #7 hitter
Unproven yet promising #8 hitter
Well above avg #9 hitter

I have Coco 9th because I want him back to back with Lugo. Them hitting back to back allows the Sox to do some things on the bases (double steal, hit and run, better chance of going from 1st to 3rd on a single, essentially be more aggressive on the basepaths). Pedroia's production (or lack thereof) in the 8 hole will dictate whether or not he's more suited for the 8 or 9 hole. Preferably, I'd like to see the two speedsters hitting back to back.

The starting rotation is looking like this (assuming we don't whiff on a closer and Papelbon isn't moved back there):

Schilling
Dice-K
Beckett
Papelbon
Wakefield

That's as solid a starting five as you're gonna get. Look for Lester to be integrated into this rotation as well as the season progresses, giving the team six above average starters in their respective spots in the rotation.

A quick aside-- I watched some video clips of Dice-K last night both in Japan and in the WBC. He was extremely impressive. I loved his mound demeanor (very Pedro-esque in that respect). He's portrays a very calm like confidence giving off the aura that he's in charge. I love seeing that out of pitchers. He has a fastball that gets up into the mid 90's that he's able to throw by hitters consistently. He loves burying that fastball on the inside corner to right handed hitters. He's very effective doing that.

Offsetting the fastball is an 80 mph screwball/gyro ball that seems to fall off the table. It has the illusion of a knee/waist high strike, then at the very last second falls off the table.

He also mixed in a slider and a change-up, giving him four effective pitches.

Performance wise, he was as good as it gets in Japan. Probably the best pitcher in Japan during his time there. In his final season there, he was 17-5 with a 2.13 ERA. In 186.1 innings, he struck out 200 while walking just 34!
Did I mention 14 complete games?

He dominated the WBC too, taking home the MVP honors there. He went 3-0 with a 1.38 ERA en route to leading Japan to the title.

He finished his Japanese baseball career with a 108-60 record with a 2.95 ERA and 1.17 WHIP in eight seasons.
Basically, he's dominated at every level he's pitched at. The big leagues is the next logical step.

He will have to overcome a few obstacles, however. In Japan, he pitched on six days of rest. Over here he's gonna have to pitch on five. Will he make the transition? My guess is yes. Don't look for him to tally 14 complete games, however. :)

As for the other starters, I expect Curt to go out on a positive note. I'd look for 15+ wins out of him. Beckett's second season in the AL should be an improvement over his first. I wouldn't expect a 5+ ERA again.

Papelbon is conditioning his arm for 150+ innings of work, and it'll be better for his shoulder/arm to pitch every fifth day as opposed to 2-3 times/week as a closer. I'd only advocate a move back to the closer's role this year should we whiff on acquiring a featured closer this offseason.

Wakefield as a #5 might be the best #5 in baseball. He's always a lock for double digit wins. You won't find many #5s that win ya 10+ games with an ERA in the low to mid 4's.

Now, where things get dicey is the 'pen. Okajima I think can be a decent arm for us both in short inning work and as a lefty specialist. He might even emerge as the featured set-up guy on this team. With 681 K's in 642 innings over in Japan, he's proven his worth as a K pitcher. Look for him to get some situational work, and if successful, will see increased work as a short inning man and set up guy.

Timlin? I'd look for him to receive the primary set-up duties. We know what we get out of him: solid, unspectacular ball. Probably below average as far as set-up men goes; certainly below average for a set-up man on a playoff team to be sure. I'd like to see him more in a 7th inning role and us go out and get a guy in the Scot Shields/Brandon Donnely mold.

Delcarmen is a good young arm in our 'pen; more polished than Hansen at their respective stages of their careers. I look for him to see more high leverage situations in '07. Last year, he had a decent K to BB ratio of 45/17 (close to 3 to 1) in 53.1 innings. His 68 hits allowed over that time is a bit high for my blood. He must get that number down if he's going to emerge as a 7th inning go-to guy for us. Natural maturation will help there.

A sleeper in the group could be Devern Hansack. He posted impressive numbers last year, albeit with a small sample size. In 10 innings, he posted a 8 to 1 K/BB ratio, accompanied by a WHIP of 0.70 and a BAA of .171. Very good numbers that certainly warrant a further look. I would like to see him get a shot in our 'pen to see if he can build off last year's numbers.

As for Hansen, he might have the greatest upside in our 'pen, but he needs more seasoning. In order to be an effective reliever at this level, he needs a dominant offspeed pitch to offset his fastball. I heard Francona say something in a press conference I thought rang true: "it doesn't matter if you throw 1000 mph...if it's straight, it's gonna get turned around." That was the case with Hansen last year. If he wants to transition into the future closer of this team, he needs to command at least one other pitch, preferably of the off-speed variety.

Outside of that, this team needs a closer. Where will it come from? Will we trade away a Murphy, Ellsbury, WMP, or somebody of that ilk to acquire one? You'd hate to see this season go into the tank because of an inability to hold a 8th/9th inning lead. To me, I do whatever I can to get a featured closer in here, whether it's Cordero (WASH), Gonzalez, (PITT), or somebody of a similar caliber, but this team must go into the season with a featured closer. I don't want to go through April-June with a shaky closer, fall X amount of games behind the Yankees as a result, and be forced to acquire one at the deadline. Ideally, I'd like to get our closer now. And again, Papelbon would be a "last resort" kind of thing.

Well, that's my state of the team. I really believe we have the offense and the starting pitching to win it all. The big question marks will be the defense and the bullpen. Hopefully the front office will be just as diligent repairing those areas of the team as it was repairing the right field/#5 hitter, SS, and front end starting pitcher holes.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

The "Big Man" to Run for President in 2008

This is my type of candidate!

----

Fuck the democrats in the ear. Piss on the republicans. They’re two sides of the same fuckin’ coin. The Big Man has no use for any of them cocksucking crooks in down there in Washington. The only things politicians give a shit about is lining their own pockets and getting their fat, thieving asses re-elected. I mean, sweet limping Jesus, look at the freak show we got on tap for 2008:

Is the suspense killing you?

Friday, November 24, 2006

i think they're referring to the "pipeline" service...


"russian spy poisoned - try it free." uh, i'll pass on this deal, as tempting as it seems... found on cnn.com today...

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

Frito-Lay Angrily Introduces Line Of Healthy Snacks





November 7, 2006

PLANO, TX—With the recent trend of wholesome snack foods reaching "truly ridiculous proportions," Frito-Lay announced Monday that it would, against its better judgment, roll out a new line of healthy fruit-and-vegetable-based chips next February.
Frito Lay R

"Here," said Frito-Lay CEO Al Carey as he disgustedly tossed a bag of the company's new Flat Earth-brand snack crisps onto the lectern during a meeting with shareholders and members of the press. "Here's some shit that's made from beets. I hope you're all happy now that you have your precious beet chips with the recommended daily serving of fruit, or vegetables, or whatever the hell a 'beet' is."

"Mmm, dehydrated bulb things," Carey added. "Sounds delicious."

Carey appeared visibly appalled as Frito-Lay employees distributed Flat Earth snack samples to the audience.

"God help us all, would you look at these flavors," said Carey, gesturing toward a display showcasing the several varieties of Flat Earth chips, including Kauliflower Krunch, Raisins 'N Chives, Cranberry Spinach Explosion, Rutabaga Yum, Tofu Snaps, Eggplant Ecstasy, Broccoloroos, and Watercress. "Look at what you've reduced us to."
Enlarge ImageFrito Lay Jump R

Frito-Lay delivery people drop off a "bunch of bullshit to some pricks somewhere."

"Weren't Sun Chips healthy enough for you, you goddamn hippie bastards?" Carey added.

Frito-Lay spokeswoman Lisa Greeley, who said that the company made a commitment in 2004 to develop a healthier line of snacks but "never thought it would actually come to this," described the Flat Earth brand as "tailor-made for the small, vocal minority of health-conscious consumers who apparently can't just be content with salads, bananas, apples, or any of the literally thousands of fruits and vegetables already widely available."

"Our new veggie snacks combine the zesty tang of parsnip, the most mouthwatering root vegetable out there, with the bold flavor of, let's say, jute?" said Greeley before reluctantly bringing a Turnips 'N Radish chip to her mouth and forcing down a full bite. "It's a brand-new taste sensation unlike anything you've ever experienced, unless you've ever eaten sisal twine."

According to Frito-Lay's website, the new snacks contain one-third of the fat, one-half of the calories, and one-1,000th of the irresistible flavor of Frito-Lay's classic line of potato and corn chips. The presence of trans-fats and saturated oils is avoided by employing a cooking process "strikingly similar to the method used to create particle board." Serving suggestions that will be printed on the packaging include "definitely not adding any salt or seasoning, because then you might die"; dipping the chips in "delicious plain yogurt, lettuce paste, or other ground-up Flat Earth products"; and enhancing the flavor by replacing the chip in your hand with a Hot'n Spicy BBQ chip.

In January, Frito-Lay will launch a Flat Earth marketing campaign based on the slogan, "Bet You Can't Eat Even One." Surprisingly, however, the company is also in talks with distributors to ensure that Flat Earth snacks are installed in every school vending machine in the country.

"Oh, they're definitely going in the vending machines," Carey said. "Everyone's going to share in this misery, not just a handful of Naderites with spastic colons or loser kids with no taste buds whose parents want them to grow up to be boring milquetoasts afraid to have any fun. And don't think we haven't forgotten you either, office workers on snack breaks and anyone who wants to serve a big bowl of disappointment at a cocktail party."

"If this is what you want, America, fine," Carey continued. "But if you don't like them, then you can suck my fucking dick, because this is it—no more veggie crisps after this. None. You hear me? None."

"You're all gonna die eventually, anyway," Carey added. "Might as well be eating Cool Ranch Doritos with cheese dip when you go."

Frito-Lay is now considering discontinuing its traditional snack line and focusing entirely on chickpeas and sprouts, since, according to Carey, Americans "are so scared of getting fat, and are clearly no longer interested in good-tasting food."

"You all disgust me," said Carey, who then kicked over the Flat Earth display and stormed out of the room.

Sunday, November 05, 2006

Sayonara Saddam!

Saddam sentenced to death by hanging

Shiites, Kurds celebrate upon hearing court's guilty verdict


BAGHDAD, Iraq - Iraq's High Tribunal on Sunday found Saddam Hussein guilty of crimes against humanity and sentenced him to hang for the 1982 killing of 148 Shiites in the city of Dujail. The visibly shaken former leader shouted "God is great!"

Saddam's half brother and former intelligence chief Barzan Ibrahim, and Awad Hamed al-Bandar, head of the former Revolutionary Court, were sentenced to join Saddam on the gallows for the Dujail killings after an unsuccessful assassination attempt during a Saddam visit to the city 35 miles north of Baghdad.

The death sentences automatically go to a nine-judge appeals panel which as unlimited time to review the case. If the verdicts and sentences are upheld, the executions must be carried out within 30 days.

(full story)

Saturday, November 04, 2006

Police arrest naked man with concealed weapon...

Police arrest naked man after he allegedly said he had a tool in his rectum



EL CERRITO, Calif. - A man was arrested on suspicion of carrying a concealed weapon after police found him outdoors — naked — and he told them he had a tool in his rectum, authorities said.

The man was lying on a tree stump, masturbating beside a nature path, near a Bay Area Rapid Transit station Thursday, police said.

John Sheehan, 33, of Pittsburg, was initially arrested on suspicion of indecent exposure. But when asked whether he was carrying anything police should know about, Sheehan mentioned the tool, said El Cerrito Detective Cpl. Don Horgan.

(full story)

Saturday, October 14, 2006

This woman can eat nails and shit lightning!

(well...at least the second part)

A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.

Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.

She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.

"I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.

...the rest

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Redskins player not happy with Madden game rating...

To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07

Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.

You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98...


read the rest here

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Cory Lidle, Rest in Peace

Course, as a Yankees hater, I'd prefer to remember Lidle from his days in Oakland. He was a serviceable pitcher that could play various pitching roles, and not a bad word could be heard from him or about him.

Class. He just had class.

Bud Selig noted, "Cory was only 34 years old and had played in the Major Leagues for nine seasons with seven different clubs. He leaves a young wife, Melanie, and a young son, Christopher. Our hearts go out to them on this terrible day."

More Turtle porn...

http://www.dump.com/crvse/

Saturday, October 07, 2006

what do you call a group of millionaires watching the ALCS and World Series at home?

the new york yankees!

bwahahhahahahahhaaa. go detroit!

Week 5 NFL Picks

BAL +4
GB +3
KC -3 (BUY 1/2)

Sunday, October 01, 2006

Week 4 NFL Picks

SAINTS +7

Saints coming off emotional win and Carolina looking to get Steve Smith lots of action, so logic would be a play on the Panthers. Pure value play here as the road team has won the last 9 ATS in this series.

Friday, September 22, 2006

true. true.