Friday, October 20, 2006
Saturday, October 14, 2006
This woman can eat nails and shit lightning!
(well...at least the second part)
A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.
Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.
She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.
"I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.
...the rest
A WOMAN has suffered severe burning to her anus after being struck by lightning which hit her in the mouth and passed right through her body.
Natasha Timarovic, 27, was cleaning her teeth at in her home in the Croatian city of Zadar when lightning struck the building.
She said: "I had just put my mouth under the tap to rinse away the toothpaste when the lightning must have struck the building.
"I don't remember much after that, but I was later told that the lightning had travelled down the water pipe and struck me on the mouth, passing through my body.
...the rest
Thursday, October 12, 2006
Redskins player not happy with Madden game rating...
To: John Madden
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98...
read the rest here
CC: Electronic Arts Sports
From: Ethan Albright
Re: Being the worst rated player on Madden ‘07
Hi, John, my name is Ethan Albright. I play line for the Washington Redskins. You probably already knew that, so I’ll continue. I am writing in regards to the overall player rating of 53 that I have received in Madden NFL Football 2007. I feel that this is fucking bullshit and you should kiss my mother-fucking ass. Ahmed Carroll was rated a 78 and the Packers just cut his ass on a Tuesday morning after his performance in a Monday night game. That is pretty terrible. The worst part is that his overall rating was sniffing 80.
You know what, John? Two can play this game. I rate you a fucking 12. I rate you a fucking 12 in Ethan Albright Football 2000-ever… except for in the category of ball-licking. That is where I will spot you a 98...
read the rest here
Wednesday, October 11, 2006
Cory Lidle, Rest in Peace
Course, as a Yankees hater, I'd prefer to remember Lidle from his days in Oakland. He was a serviceable pitcher that could play various pitching roles, and not a bad word could be heard from him or about him.Class. He just had class.
Bud Selig noted, "Cory was only 34 years old and had played in the Major Leagues for nine seasons with seven different clubs. He leaves a young wife, Melanie, and a young son, Christopher. Our hearts go out to them on this terrible day."
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Saturday, October 07, 2006
what do you call a group of millionaires watching the ALCS and World Series at home?
the new york yankees!
bwahahhahahahahhaaa. go detroit!
bwahahhahahahahhaaa. go detroit!
Sunday, October 01, 2006
Week 4 NFL Picks
SAINTS +7
Saints coming off emotional win and Carolina looking to get Steve Smith lots of action, so logic would be a play on the Panthers. Pure value play here as the road team has won the last 9 ATS in this series.
Saints coming off emotional win and Carolina looking to get Steve Smith lots of action, so logic would be a play on the Panthers. Pure value play here as the road team has won the last 9 ATS in this series.
Friday, September 22, 2006
Monday, September 18, 2006
Monday, September 11, 2006
Something to wash that down with, sir?
This image provided by the Direction of Penal Centers of El Salvador shows an x-ray taken of one of four prisoners at a maximum security Salvadoran prison in Zacatecoluca, 35 miles southeast of the capital of El Salvador. Four cellular telephones were found in the intestines of as many prisoners in El Salvador's maximum-security prison, authorities said Wednesday, Sept. 6, 2006. The discovery happened Tuesday at the prison in Zacatecoluca after suspicious prison officials took x-rays of each of the prisoners, prison spokesman Jaime Villanova said.
Saturday, September 09, 2006
Cooch: "Hanley will be the equivalent of Alex Cora"
Wow...pass me some of what you're smoking.
Hanley in his first full season in the bigs, at age 22:
.279, 13 HR, 49 RBI, 35 doubles, 10 triples, 44 SBs, 105 runs
Just in comparison, Cora's most productive year in the bigs:
.264, 10 HR, 47 RBI, 9 doubles, 4 triples, 3 SBs, 47 runs
and his next best season, comparatively speaking:
.249, 4 HR, 34 RBI, 24 doubles, 3 triples, 4 SBs, 39 runs
Hanley the equivalent of Cora? At age 22, Hanley has already surpassed Cora's best big league season. Where's the basis for that kind of thinking?
There's absolutely no reason to believe Hanley can't get better. With a normal progression curve, he should be one of the top SS's in the league for years to come, with a few all-star appearances in his future.
Hanley in his first full season in the bigs, at age 22:
.279, 13 HR, 49 RBI, 35 doubles, 10 triples, 44 SBs, 105 runs
Just in comparison, Cora's most productive year in the bigs:
.264, 10 HR, 47 RBI, 9 doubles, 4 triples, 3 SBs, 47 runs
and his next best season, comparatively speaking:
.249, 4 HR, 34 RBI, 24 doubles, 3 triples, 4 SBs, 39 runs
Hanley the equivalent of Cora? At age 22, Hanley has already surpassed Cora's best big league season. Where's the basis for that kind of thinking?
There's absolutely no reason to believe Hanley can't get better. With a normal progression curve, he should be one of the top SS's in the league for years to come, with a few all-star appearances in his future.
Saturday, September 02, 2006
Friday, September 01, 2006
book your world series tickets now red sox fans!!!
but, it will likely be the yankees vs. whomever in the NL...
BOSTON -- The Boston Red Sox obtained right-hander Kevin Jarvis from Arizona for a player to be named or cash and assigned him to Triple-A Pawtucket on Thursday night.
The 37-year-old Jarvis was 0-1 with an 11.91 ERA in five games with the Diamondbacks this season and joins his 10th major-league organization. In his major-league career, he is 34-48 with a 6.05 ERA in 183 appearances.
In 15 games, 13 of them starts, with Triple-A Tucson this year Jarvis was 3-6 with a 3.44 ERA.
---
seriously, sox, when is it time to stop gambling on has-been/never-will-be pitchers with 6.00+ ERAs?
BOSTON -- The Boston Red Sox obtained right-hander Kevin Jarvis from Arizona for a player to be named or cash and assigned him to Triple-A Pawtucket on Thursday night.
The 37-year-old Jarvis was 0-1 with an 11.91 ERA in five games with the Diamondbacks this season and joins his 10th major-league organization. In his major-league career, he is 34-48 with a 6.05 ERA in 183 appearances.
In 15 games, 13 of them starts, with Triple-A Tucson this year Jarvis was 3-6 with a 3.44 ERA.
---
seriously, sox, when is it time to stop gambling on has-been/never-will-be pitchers with 6.00+ ERAs?
Thursday, August 31, 2006
Red Sox Announce a 2-man rotation
With Wakefield and Clement on the shelf, 22-year-old Jon Lester in a hospital being tested for cancer, and Wells off to San Diego in an extra heavy duty plane used to transport elephants, the Sox are in a world of shit without any toilet paper.
Yep-- it's desperation time in Boston. They are all but out of the division race. They are hanging on by dental floss in the wild card race. Desperate times call for desperate measures-- which is why the Red Sox announced they are going with a rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way.
"As much as Tavarez, Snyder, Jason Johnson, and a pitching dummy are viable pitching options-- we've decided to go with a two-man rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way" , Red Sox manager Terry Francona said at an impromptu press conference yesterday following the Sox 6-4 win over Toronto.
"We're taking this shit back to the old school", said an exacerbated Theo Epstein. Fuck SABERMETRICS, fuck lefty/righty splits, fuck home/away ERA, fuck it all. I've had it with this shit. If we're gonna get back in this race, we gotta pull out all the fucking stops. If that means going unconventional on people's asses, then that's what we gonna do. Word to your mom."
The rotation for the coming days looks like this:
Friday 9/1: it will be Josh Beckett facing off against Ted Lilly
Saturday 9/2: Curt Schilling will be opposed by AJ Burnett
Sunday 9.3: Josh Beckett will be back on the rubber to face Gustavo Chacin
Monday 9/4: a well rested Curt Schilling faces a big test against Chisox ace Jon Garland
Selected seats are still available. Those with leftover ice in your finished soft drinks are encouraged to drop it off at the kiosks conveniently located next to the Red Sox dugout.
Yep-- it's desperation time in Boston. They are all but out of the division race. They are hanging on by dental floss in the wild card race. Desperate times call for desperate measures-- which is why the Red Sox announced they are going with a rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way.
"As much as Tavarez, Snyder, Jason Johnson, and a pitching dummy are viable pitching options-- we've decided to go with a two-man rotation of Schilling and Beckett the rest of the way" , Red Sox manager Terry Francona said at an impromptu press conference yesterday following the Sox 6-4 win over Toronto.
"We're taking this shit back to the old school", said an exacerbated Theo Epstein. Fuck SABERMETRICS, fuck lefty/righty splits, fuck home/away ERA, fuck it all. I've had it with this shit. If we're gonna get back in this race, we gotta pull out all the fucking stops. If that means going unconventional on people's asses, then that's what we gonna do. Word to your mom."
The rotation for the coming days looks like this:
Friday 9/1: it will be Josh Beckett facing off against Ted Lilly
Saturday 9/2: Curt Schilling will be opposed by AJ Burnett
Sunday 9.3: Josh Beckett will be back on the rubber to face Gustavo Chacin
Monday 9/4: a well rested Curt Schilling faces a big test against Chisox ace Jon Garland
Selected seats are still available. Those with leftover ice in your finished soft drinks are encouraged to drop it off at the kiosks conveniently located next to the Red Sox dugout.
Tuesday, August 29, 2006
is this the pawsox or the red sox?
check out last night's starting lineup:
coco crisp, cf
alex coro, ss
mark loretta, dh (dh???)
kevin youkilis, lf (cleanup? in left field?)
erik hinske, rf
mike lowell, 3b
javy lopez, c
carlos pena, 1b
dustin pedroia, 2b
coco crisp, cf
alex coro, ss
mark loretta, dh (dh???)
kevin youkilis, lf (cleanup? in left field?)
erik hinske, rf
mike lowell, 3b
javy lopez, c
carlos pena, 1b
dustin pedroia, 2b
Sunday, August 27, 2006
It's the Most Shittiful Time of the Year...
Nine months out of the year-- there is no place I'd rather live than south Florida. But the remaining three months or so-- I do a complete one muh'fuckin eighty. Why? Hurricane season! And I'm not talking about the local college football team.
From August to October-- south Floridians are keeping close tabs on the weather. We're looking for those developing storms off the coast of Africa or the eastern Carribean. We're looking at projected paths and storm intensity-- and if that sumbitch is forecasted to come anywhere near south Florida, everybody scurries to the gas station and the local supermarkets. We're talking about gas lines that go on forever. If you can get to the pump in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. If you can get through the checkout counter at the supermarket in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. In any event, it's a damn free-for-all...
The first storm to hit south Florida this year was Ernesto. It was projected to be a category 1 storm, but fortunately was only a tropical storm. Turned out to be one big fakeout. Just got a bunch of rain dumped on us and that was it. But after last year, I ain't taking any chances. Hurricane Wilma was supposed to only be a cat 1 storm. Instead, it was a cat 3 and it blew my damn upstairs window out in my memorabilia room. So for three hours or so, I had 100+ mph gusts blowing inside that room. I literally had to take pictures-- some of which very valuable, off my wall while category 3 wind gusts blew inside the room. There was still jagged pieces of glass left in the window from where it blew out-- so I could have very easily been hit by one of those pieces. But I didn't care. I had far too many valuables in that room-- and I had to remove them as fast and as safely as I could.
It was a scary experience to say the least. Never would I have dreamed that a hurricane could blow out my window like that. Call it ignorance-- but I'm about 4 miles west of the ocean in a thickly settled neighborhood. Thought I had sufficient wind-breakers in the adjoining and nearby houses-- but I was sadly mistaken. When it was all said and done-- it cost me about $2,500 to repair everything wrong with the house. We're talking broken window, paint job, pressure cleaning, my screened-in porch which was torn to shreds at the roof, the awning that hangs over my guestroom window above the garage. It was crazy...borderline surreal.
In short, what I'm getting at is, you just can't take chances during hurricane season. You gotta be prepared. My thinking is, I'd rather be prepared and be wrong than not be prepared and be wrong. And what's the worst that can happen? You have some extra soup and baked beans in the cupboard. BFD.
Hopefully this year's hurricane season is a lot more docile than last year's. I'm in the process of getting impact (hurricane) windows installed for every room in the hizzy. I thought about putting up hurricane shutters-- but the sunlight from outside means too much to me-- and well, I'd rather not live in a cave. I'll take impact windows, thank you very much.
In the meantime, you northern folks enjoy it. Come winter time when you're freezing your balls or tits off in a below zero wind chill-- you wish you were down in the Sunshine State. But I ain't gonna lie-- I wish I was in New England right now. It's a great place to be in the summer time. Someday I'd like to live up there seasonally-- spend maybe 3-4 months there and the rest of the time in Florida. Someday...
From August to October-- south Floridians are keeping close tabs on the weather. We're looking for those developing storms off the coast of Africa or the eastern Carribean. We're looking at projected paths and storm intensity-- and if that sumbitch is forecasted to come anywhere near south Florida, everybody scurries to the gas station and the local supermarkets. We're talking about gas lines that go on forever. If you can get to the pump in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. If you can get through the checkout counter at the supermarket in under 20 minutes, consider yourself lucky. In any event, it's a damn free-for-all...
The first storm to hit south Florida this year was Ernesto. It was projected to be a category 1 storm, but fortunately was only a tropical storm. Turned out to be one big fakeout. Just got a bunch of rain dumped on us and that was it. But after last year, I ain't taking any chances. Hurricane Wilma was supposed to only be a cat 1 storm. Instead, it was a cat 3 and it blew my damn upstairs window out in my memorabilia room. So for three hours or so, I had 100+ mph gusts blowing inside that room. I literally had to take pictures-- some of which very valuable, off my wall while category 3 wind gusts blew inside the room. There was still jagged pieces of glass left in the window from where it blew out-- so I could have very easily been hit by one of those pieces. But I didn't care. I had far too many valuables in that room-- and I had to remove them as fast and as safely as I could.
It was a scary experience to say the least. Never would I have dreamed that a hurricane could blow out my window like that. Call it ignorance-- but I'm about 4 miles west of the ocean in a thickly settled neighborhood. Thought I had sufficient wind-breakers in the adjoining and nearby houses-- but I was sadly mistaken. When it was all said and done-- it cost me about $2,500 to repair everything wrong with the house. We're talking broken window, paint job, pressure cleaning, my screened-in porch which was torn to shreds at the roof, the awning that hangs over my guestroom window above the garage. It was crazy...borderline surreal.
In short, what I'm getting at is, you just can't take chances during hurricane season. You gotta be prepared. My thinking is, I'd rather be prepared and be wrong than not be prepared and be wrong. And what's the worst that can happen? You have some extra soup and baked beans in the cupboard. BFD.
Hopefully this year's hurricane season is a lot more docile than last year's. I'm in the process of getting impact (hurricane) windows installed for every room in the hizzy. I thought about putting up hurricane shutters-- but the sunlight from outside means too much to me-- and well, I'd rather not live in a cave. I'll take impact windows, thank you very much.
In the meantime, you northern folks enjoy it. Come winter time when you're freezing your balls or tits off in a below zero wind chill-- you wish you were down in the Sunshine State. But I ain't gonna lie-- I wish I was in New England right now. It's a great place to be in the summer time. Someday I'd like to live up there seasonally-- spend maybe 3-4 months there and the rest of the time in Florida. Someday...
Saturday, August 26, 2006
It's all in the pronounciation Part II
whorepresents.com
expertsexchange.com
therapistfinder.com
powergenitalia.com
molestationnursery.com
ipanywhere.com
cummingfirst.com
speedofart.com
gotahoe.com
credit: canestime.com
expertsexchange.com
therapistfinder.com
powergenitalia.com
molestationnursery.com
ipanywhere.com
cummingfirst.com
speedofart.com
gotahoe.com
credit: canestime.com
Thursday, August 24, 2006
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