Sunday, November 23, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Wednesday, November 05, 2008
L&C Presidential Bid Denied!
When L&C lost Cooch's home state of Maine to Obama, we knew that our presidential bid would be tough to obtain. But when the key state of Florida, Lavinius' home state, went to Obama, our fate was sealed. L&C fell just 270 electoral votes shy of the presidency.
"I'm devastated," is all that Cooch could muster when interviewed by several network giants. "But look for L&C in 2012."
"I'm devastated," is all that Cooch could muster when interviewed by several network giants. "But look for L&C in 2012."
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Friday, October 17, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Tuesday, October 07, 2008
Bring on the Rays!
Man what an intense series! I was on the edge of my couch and pacing my living room. When I was out at a bar for game 2, I was screaming at the TV as if I was home.
Sox looked like they were gonna cruise to a series win after taking the first two in Anaheim. Then they came back home and dropped game 3 in a game where the final score didn't indicate how badly the Angels dominated that game. Game 4 with Lester on the hill you had to feel confident. He was dominant yet again pitching 7 innings of scoreless ball. He's now gone 21+ innings in the post-season without allowing an earned run. He's turning into a dominating post-season pitcher before our eyes, seemingly taking on Beckett's role this year.
In the series-concluding game 4, the Sox took a 2-0 lead into the 8th. Lester at 109 pitches was done for the evening, under his own admission. Okajima comes in. He retires Figgins and Anderson on ground balls. Two outs, nobody on, Teixiera comes up. Inexplicably Oki walks him on four pitches. An absolute NO-NO in a 2-0 game especially with a guy coming up with the ability to tie the game on one swing. Oki is pulled at that point for Masterson.
Masterson gets ahead of Vladdy 0-2...one strike away from getting out of the inning. He ends up walking Vladdy putting runners on 1st and 2nd. Hunter is the next batter. Sox are still in good shape, just gotta retire Toriiiiiii. Another inexplicability takes place as Masterson and Tek get crossed up (Tek was expecting slider, Masterson threw a fastball) and the ball goes to the backstop, advancing the runners. Now all of a sudden two walks and a wild pitch has runners on 2nd and 3rd.
At this point, I was not feeling good about things. My fears were realized when Hunter singled through the right side which scored both runners and tied the game. Just like that, they seized the momentum and I had thoughts of the series going back to Cali.
The Sox went meekly in the bottom of the 8th. Top of the 9th Masterson is back out there. Future HOF candidate Kendry Morales leads off the inning with a double. The runner is bunted over to 3rd giving LAAA a runner on 3rd and one out. Tito's seen enough and yanks Masterson. In comes Manny Delcarmen who to his credit has found a nutsack since getting vilified by L&C. His juevos would be needed now more than ever in this situation. They had to keep this run from scoring, or the series could very well be tied 2-2 going back to their crib with all the momentum on their side and the season resting on an erratic Dice-K. MDC had to come through here.
Welp, enter Michael Scoscia, Angels manager, who the TBS cameras loved panning into the dugout of every 30 seconds, but that's another story. He thought it would be a good idea to employ a suicide squeeze in that situation with Erick Aybar. On a 2-0 pitch, they tried pulling it off. Aybar whiffs on the bunt and pinch runner Reggie Willits is caught in no-man's land between 3rd and home. Tek immediately runs at him and chases him back towards 3rd. He pump fakes but decides to keep the ball and applies the tag just before Willits got back to 3rd. The ball popped out of Tek's glove, but the tag had already been applied.
The Sox seized all the momentum back at that point. We all know what happened in the bottom of the 9th. Bay's bloop double which went in the stands, Kotsay's scorching liner which found its way into the diving Teixiera's glove, and my man Lowrie's single through the right side just out of the reach of Howie Kendrick with two out which scored Bay who slid home with the winning run.
Phenomenal series. Pins and needles the whole time. It was only appropriate the Sox beat the Angels on a walk-off.
Now it's a date with the Rays for the AL championship.
Sox looked like they were gonna cruise to a series win after taking the first two in Anaheim. Then they came back home and dropped game 3 in a game where the final score didn't indicate how badly the Angels dominated that game. Game 4 with Lester on the hill you had to feel confident. He was dominant yet again pitching 7 innings of scoreless ball. He's now gone 21+ innings in the post-season without allowing an earned run. He's turning into a dominating post-season pitcher before our eyes, seemingly taking on Beckett's role this year.
In the series-concluding game 4, the Sox took a 2-0 lead into the 8th. Lester at 109 pitches was done for the evening, under his own admission. Okajima comes in. He retires Figgins and Anderson on ground balls. Two outs, nobody on, Teixiera comes up. Inexplicably Oki walks him on four pitches. An absolute NO-NO in a 2-0 game especially with a guy coming up with the ability to tie the game on one swing. Oki is pulled at that point for Masterson.
Masterson gets ahead of Vladdy 0-2...one strike away from getting out of the inning. He ends up walking Vladdy putting runners on 1st and 2nd. Hunter is the next batter. Sox are still in good shape, just gotta retire Toriiiiiii. Another inexplicability takes place as Masterson and Tek get crossed up (Tek was expecting slider, Masterson threw a fastball) and the ball goes to the backstop, advancing the runners. Now all of a sudden two walks and a wild pitch has runners on 2nd and 3rd.
At this point, I was not feeling good about things. My fears were realized when Hunter singled through the right side which scored both runners and tied the game. Just like that, they seized the momentum and I had thoughts of the series going back to Cali.
The Sox went meekly in the bottom of the 8th. Top of the 9th Masterson is back out there. Future HOF candidate Kendry Morales leads off the inning with a double. The runner is bunted over to 3rd giving LAAA a runner on 3rd and one out. Tito's seen enough and yanks Masterson. In comes Manny Delcarmen who to his credit has found a nutsack since getting vilified by L&C. His juevos would be needed now more than ever in this situation. They had to keep this run from scoring, or the series could very well be tied 2-2 going back to their crib with all the momentum on their side and the season resting on an erratic Dice-K. MDC had to come through here.
Welp, enter Michael Scoscia, Angels manager, who the TBS cameras loved panning into the dugout of every 30 seconds, but that's another story. He thought it would be a good idea to employ a suicide squeeze in that situation with Erick Aybar. On a 2-0 pitch, they tried pulling it off. Aybar whiffs on the bunt and pinch runner Reggie Willits is caught in no-man's land between 3rd and home. Tek immediately runs at him and chases him back towards 3rd. He pump fakes but decides to keep the ball and applies the tag just before Willits got back to 3rd. The ball popped out of Tek's glove, but the tag had already been applied.
The Sox seized all the momentum back at that point. We all know what happened in the bottom of the 9th. Bay's bloop double which went in the stands, Kotsay's scorching liner which found its way into the diving Teixiera's glove, and my man Lowrie's single through the right side just out of the reach of Howie Kendrick with two out which scored Bay who slid home with the winning run.
Phenomenal series. Pins and needles the whole time. It was only appropriate the Sox beat the Angels on a walk-off.
Now it's a date with the Rays for the AL championship.
Saturday, October 04, 2008
NFL Week 5
Baltimore +3
Cooch's Double Lock Value Play of the Month of the Year of the 5th Week
Home dog = VAL. U.
Cooch's Double Lock Value Play of the Month of the Year of the 5th Week
Home dog = VAL. U.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Manny speaks candidly about Boston
It's not what Sox fans want to necessarily hear, but I appreciate his honestly. A lot of this stuff doesn't come as a surprise to knowledgeable Sox fans.
"Every day I thank God I came here and had the chance to show people who I really am," he says. "The guy you see here -- that's who I am."
"The first time I stepped foot in Boston, I said to myself, 'Whoa.' I told Pedro Martinez, 'Damn, man, I just want to get traded and get out of here; this place is not me.' I was unhappy for eight years in Boston but still put up great numbers."
"Baseball in Boston is like a Sunday football game, but played every day," he says.
"We lose in L.A., I go to breakfast and people say, 'Well, you'll get them tomorrow.' In Boston, it's 'Hey, what's going on, the Yankees are coming.'
"It's just a different atmosphere. The fans in Boston got your back no matter what, but I'm talking about the people who write all this bull because it means so much to them. If your happiness depends on Boston winning or losing, you have to get a life."
"I would bring my kids to the park and I want my kids to be kids, but there'd be people trying to interview them. That's so stupid," Ramirez says. "I'd go to the parking lot after the game and 20 people I didn't know would be offering food, CDs and things -- then wanting something in return.
"Here the game ends, I go to the elevator, my car and no one bothers me."
Things went so sour in Boston, the team insisted on medical tests when he said he could not play. He didn't always run hard, and there was suspicion he struck out on purpose.
"I love to hit, to compete and would never do that; that's just people looking for stuff," he says, while admitting he now runs everything out in L.A., "and I don't even have to think about it."
That suggests he wasn't running everything out in Boston, and while he tries to explain, he's interrupted. There's no explanation for such behavior after signing a contract and being paid $20 million a year to give his all.
"You're right," he says. "You're right."
He wants to leave Boston behind, but a few weeks back Curt Schilling felt it necessary to let everyone know Ramirez is no team player. Funny, some say the same about Schilling.
"I don't wish him anything bad, although it did make me madder and play harder to show everyone who I am," Ramirez says. "I don't disrespect or takes shots at anyone. I don't want someone going to one of my sons and saying your dad is a punk and talks bad about people behind their backs."
"In many ways I'm like my mom, who doesn't curse, is always laughing and having fun. I strike out three times, and while I'm upset in my mind, I don't show it. I just tell myself I will come back the next day and go three for four."
"People think I don't take this seriously, but then why am I up early every morning working with the strength coach? I'm just playing around to keep everyone loose. When I was in Cleveland I asked a sportswriter if I could borrow $50,000 to buy a motorcycle. He wrote it like I was serious.
"It's just great here; I don't feel like I'm in a cage. The fans in L.A. are unbelievable -- never in my 16 years have I received such a reception."
Full Article
"Every day I thank God I came here and had the chance to show people who I really am," he says. "The guy you see here -- that's who I am."
"The first time I stepped foot in Boston, I said to myself, 'Whoa.' I told Pedro Martinez, 'Damn, man, I just want to get traded and get out of here; this place is not me.' I was unhappy for eight years in Boston but still put up great numbers."
"Baseball in Boston is like a Sunday football game, but played every day," he says.
"We lose in L.A., I go to breakfast and people say, 'Well, you'll get them tomorrow.' In Boston, it's 'Hey, what's going on, the Yankees are coming.'
"It's just a different atmosphere. The fans in Boston got your back no matter what, but I'm talking about the people who write all this bull because it means so much to them. If your happiness depends on Boston winning or losing, you have to get a life."
"I would bring my kids to the park and I want my kids to be kids, but there'd be people trying to interview them. That's so stupid," Ramirez says. "I'd go to the parking lot after the game and 20 people I didn't know would be offering food, CDs and things -- then wanting something in return.
"Here the game ends, I go to the elevator, my car and no one bothers me."
Things went so sour in Boston, the team insisted on medical tests when he said he could not play. He didn't always run hard, and there was suspicion he struck out on purpose.
"I love to hit, to compete and would never do that; that's just people looking for stuff," he says, while admitting he now runs everything out in L.A., "and I don't even have to think about it."
That suggests he wasn't running everything out in Boston, and while he tries to explain, he's interrupted. There's no explanation for such behavior after signing a contract and being paid $20 million a year to give his all.
"You're right," he says. "You're right."
He wants to leave Boston behind, but a few weeks back Curt Schilling felt it necessary to let everyone know Ramirez is no team player. Funny, some say the same about Schilling.
"I don't wish him anything bad, although it did make me madder and play harder to show everyone who I am," Ramirez says. "I don't disrespect or takes shots at anyone. I don't want someone going to one of my sons and saying your dad is a punk and talks bad about people behind their backs."
"In many ways I'm like my mom, who doesn't curse, is always laughing and having fun. I strike out three times, and while I'm upset in my mind, I don't show it. I just tell myself I will come back the next day and go three for four."
"People think I don't take this seriously, but then why am I up early every morning working with the strength coach? I'm just playing around to keep everyone loose. When I was in Cleveland I asked a sportswriter if I could borrow $50,000 to buy a motorcycle. He wrote it like I was serious.
"It's just great here; I don't feel like I'm in a cage. The fans in L.A. are unbelievable -- never in my 16 years have I received such a reception."
Full Article
Monday, September 29, 2008
Saturday, September 27, 2008
NFL Week 4
Arizona +1
Cooch hearts value plays. Jets blow donkey nuggets and, on paper, Arizona should win this puppy. The Jets' D has a ton of holes, which will make for a nice day of offense for Warner, Boldin, Fitzgerald, and James. Value, peeps. VALUE.
Cooch hearts value plays. Jets blow donkey nuggets and, on paper, Arizona should win this puppy. The Jets' D has a ton of holes, which will make for a nice day of offense for Warner, Boldin, Fitzgerald, and James. Value, peeps. VALUE.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
The 22 Worst Place Names in the World
Staying far the fuck away from this place:
22. Cockburn, Western Australia
Although this name is often pronounced "Coburn" by those who stand to lose from its awfulness, who actually reads that when they see this word? Oh, how it burns.
On the other hand, these places will receive my touristership:
21. Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland
The Shetland Islands, pronounced "Shitland Islands" if you have an accent like mine, make up a happy little area north of Scotland where it's too cold for trees to grow. I am related to approximately half the population of the Shetland Islands, share a last name with a quarter of them, and can probably trace my ancestry back to Twatt if I try hard enough. The pride!
19. Muff, Ireland
We here at Drivl love puerile humour. They have a town called Muff. Har har har.
17. Titty Hill, Sussex, England
Falling squarely into the extensive Stupid Place Names From England category, Titty Hill is probably located just north of...
14. Wetwang, Yorkshire... yep! England again!
Okay, so I'll cut England some slack. It's an old country. You know, if the United States is Google, then England is IBM. Their country is older than fucking dirt. They can't be blamed for having names that sound funny in 2007. But this is kind of ridiculous. Wetwang? I'm surprised they don't have towns called Squishy Vagina or Infected Scrotum.
Anybody want to take a stab at this one?
20. Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand
If I ever had to send snail mail there, I'd probably off myself.
The rest of the list...
22. Cockburn, Western Australia
Although this name is often pronounced "Coburn" by those who stand to lose from its awfulness, who actually reads that when they see this word? Oh, how it burns.
On the other hand, these places will receive my touristership:
21. Twatt, Orkney, Shetland Islands, Scotland
The Shetland Islands, pronounced "Shitland Islands" if you have an accent like mine, make up a happy little area north of Scotland where it's too cold for trees to grow. I am related to approximately half the population of the Shetland Islands, share a last name with a quarter of them, and can probably trace my ancestry back to Twatt if I try hard enough. The pride!
19. Muff, Ireland
We here at Drivl love puerile humour. They have a town called Muff. Har har har.
17. Titty Hill, Sussex, England
Falling squarely into the extensive Stupid Place Names From England category, Titty Hill is probably located just north of...
14. Wetwang, Yorkshire... yep! England again!
Okay, so I'll cut England some slack. It's an old country. You know, if the United States is Google, then England is IBM. Their country is older than fucking dirt. They can't be blamed for having names that sound funny in 2007. But this is kind of ridiculous. Wetwang? I'm surprised they don't have towns called Squishy Vagina or Infected Scrotum.
Anybody want to take a stab at this one?
20. Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateapokaiwhenuakitanatahu, New Zealand
If I ever had to send snail mail there, I'd probably off myself.
The rest of the list...
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Felix Jones
With his 60 yard TD run in the second quarter against the Green Bay Packers, Felix Jones became the first player in Dallas Cowboys history to score a a TD in each of his first 3 games.
RAYS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS! RAYS MAKE THE PLAYOFFS!
For the first time in its 11-year existence, the Rays (prior to this season known as the laughing stock of the league and also known as the Devil Rays) have made the playoffs!With less than 10 games to go, Cooch unboldly predicts that they will also win the division. They came out of nowhere this season to win more than 90 games and wipe the smartass off most of our faces.
Congrats, Rays, even though I hate your fucking collective guts.
Lavinius edit: Me fucking too! Most of the Tampa/St. Pete area couldn't give less than a rat's ass of care about you. Your stadium is a joke. Your fans are a joke. You don't have a prayer of selling out a game unless there's thousands of away fans helping the cause. In short, I wish you zero success and that you humbly go fuck yourselves.
Friday, September 19, 2008
nomar garciaparra: injured again
Year, salary, and number of games played:
2004 $11,500,000 for 81 games
2005 $8,250,000 for 22 games
2006 $6,000,000 for 122 games
2007 $8,516,697 for 121 games
2008 $9,516,697 for 50 games (with less than 10 games to go this season)
2004 $11,500,000 for 81 games
2005 $8,250,000 for 22 games
2006 $6,000,000 for 122 games
2007 $8,516,697 for 121 games
2008 $9,516,697 for 50 games (with less than 10 games to go this season)
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Cowboys' Owens catches career TDs No. 131, 132
IRVING, Texas -- Terrell Owens caught his 131st career touchdown Monday night, a 72-yarder in the first quarter of Dallas' game against Philadelphia, to take over sole possession of second place on the NFL career list.Early in the second quarter, Owens made it 132 with a 4-yard TD.
On the first TD, Owens was behind the defenders and caught the ball in stride from Tony Romo near the 15 and ran untouched into the end zone. It was the longest pass of Romo's career.
Owens is 65 TD receptions behind Pro Football Hall of Famer and former teammate Jerry Rice on the NFL list. Owens had been tied with Cris Carter for second place.
Owens has three TDs this season, and 31 in 33 games with the Cowboys. He has caught 28 from Romo, making them the league's top quarterback-receiver TD combination since 2006.
Before coming to Dallas in 2006, Owens had 20 TDs in two seasons with the Eagles. He spent the first eight seasons of his career with San Francisco, five of those with Rice.
Copyright 2008 by The Associated Press
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