Former major leaguer John Marzano dies at 45 in Philadelphia

PHILADELPHIA (AP) — Former major leaguer John Marzano died Saturday after falling down a flight of stairs at his home. He was 45.

The cause of his death was not immediately clear, police said.

Marzano was from Philadelphia and had been working for Major League Baseball's Web site, where he co-hosted a show on weekday mornings.

"John was a beloved member of our team, a personable, terrific friend to all with whom he worked," said Bob Bowman, chief executive officer of MLB Advanced Media. "He was an engaging, informed interviewer. His energy, knowledge of the game and comedic touch produced admirable results. We miss him dearly already."

[full story]

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Cooch had the pleasure of meeting John Marzano personally and can say that Marzano was a class act. Cooch's extends his condolences to the family of John Marzano...

Dustin Pedroia, don't quit your day job!!!

Worst. Acting. Ever.

Proof that Cooch is big-boned

My chest x-ray from earlier today...

Just another twat on the Miami roadways

Read up

Does anyone complain about strike calls more often than Big Papi?

Stop the whining about every fucking strike call. Seriously, get the fucking bat off your shoulder.

That's Not P.C.!

Boom Goes the Dynamite!

Joe Morgan is the Dan Dierdorf of MLB Broadcasters

Seriously, is there anyone more monotonous than Joe Morgan? Can someone wake him up? Buelller? Buellllllller? It's painful listening to Morgan's broadcasts - it's time for him to go...

Lavinius' Favorite Food...

South Park slams Belichick like an FSU freshman

Best Pie Chart...

WTF?!

Buwahahahhahah!

Papi sporting that BLING!

Early Morning, April 4

Shot rings out in the Memphis sky
Free at last, they took your life
They could not take your pride

RIP Martin Luther King Jr.
40 years ago today

Wild Thing

Best Penitentiary Pitcher Ever?

Hawk attacks 13 year old girl during Fenway Park tour

BOSTON -- A 13-year-old girl touring Fenway Park on a school trip was attacked by a resident red-tailed hawk that drew blood from her scalp Thursday.

She wasn't seriously hurt, but some observers saw an omen for a certain New York Yankees slugger in the attack at the home of the Boston Red Sox. The girl's name is Alexa Rodriguez.

Vince Jennetta, a teacher who chaperoned her class trip from Memorial Boulevard Middle School in Bristol, Conn., told The Boston Globe that Alexa is "a little shaken, but OK."

The hawk was perched on a railing in the upper deck behind home plate while the group toured the stadium. The hawk flew at the girl and swooped with its talons extended, scratching her scalp.

A single egg lay in the hawk's nearby nest in an overhang near the stadium's press booth.

The nest and egg were removed at the direction of state wildlife officials.

Red Sox 2008 Opening Day Roster

Aaaardsma? I barely even know 'er!

Must be baseball season

Martinez injured in Mets loss to Marlins

MIAMI (Reuters) - The Florida Marlins ground out a 5-4 victory in 10 innings against the Mets on Tuesday, New York's loss made even more painful by a hamstring injury to star pitcher Pedro Martinez in the fourth inning.

The 36-year-old three-times Cy Young Award winner was forced to abandon his first start of the season with one out in the inning after straining his left hamstring.

He was limping when he left Dolphin Stadium and told a television reporter he felt a pop in his leg.

I don't know what's worse for the Mets? Pedro going down or losing to the Marlins

Craigslist gold digger gets pwned

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush. I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.
I’m not from New York . I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

it’s NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
PostingID: 432279810



THE ANSWER
Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful”
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.
Classic “pump and dump.”
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

FBI posting fake links to child porn. You click, you get raided

A new technique to catch people looking for child pornography online has been approved by the courts and has already been used in three states. It involves posting bogus links to illegal videos that automatically triggers an armed raid on the user.

Doctoral student Roderick Vosburgh was caught this way last year. Agents got him to come outside after asking him about his car. He faces 10 years behind bars, a lifetime ban on being a college instructor, and 15 years as a registered sex offender.

Vosburgh's lawyer said, "I thought it was scary that they could do this. This whole idea that the FBI can put a honeypot out there to attract people is kind of sad. It seems to me that they've brought a lot of cases without having to stoop to this."


















Cooch's perfect criminal record in jeopardy

The wasabi's on me!!!

BoSox settle pay dispute, to go to Japan (AP)

Boston Red Sox General Manager Theo Epstein walks past luggage waiting to get loaded for a trip to Japan prior to a scheduled baseball game against the Toronto Blue Jays in Fort Myers, Fla., Wednesday March 19, 2008. The Boston Red Sox refused to take the field for their final spring training game in Florida on Wednesday and threatened to boycott their flight to Japan for their season openers unless their coaches and other staff are paid for the trip.

Fans at City of Palms Park were ready for Boston's final spring training game in Florida. The Red Sox weren't. In an extraordinary move, Boston players voted to boycott a nationally televised exhibition and Wednesday afternoon's flight to Japan for next week's season-opening series against Oakland, upset that coaches weren't going to receive the same $40,000 payments negotiated for players by their...

full article

Lighting is everything...

March 14th: Steak & BJ day

Hope all our male fans today don't end up like this guy:

Billy Crystal

What's next? Stephen King getting to bat for the Red Sox?

Detroit hotel receives glowing reviews

Might be worth visiting if you hate yourself.

As soon as we walked into our room we were greeted by a rat, mice running in all directions and the largest sized cockroaches we have ever seen.

Worst Way to Lose a Game: The Candidates

Barton vs. Winona State college basketball game

Plano East vs. John Tyler HS football game

HS basketball chick "butt shot"

My vote goes to Plano East.

Cooch, feel free to add to this list as you see fit.

Canes 7, Maine 4

CORAL GABLES, Fla. - Sophomore third baseman Mark Sobolewski drove in a season-high five runs in going 3-for-5 with a three-run homer and sophomore right-hander Anthony Nalepa won his second game in relief as No. 5 Miami won its sixth in a row by defeating Maine, 7-4, Wednesday night at Mark Light Field. Sophomore reliever Kyle Bellamy earned his first career save after tossing a scoreless ninth inning for the Hurricanes who improved to 11-1.

Full article

Rocco Baldelli, CFer, DL

Dude plays for the DL more than he does the Rays...

Rays CF Baldelli to start season on DL (AP)

Tampa Bay's Rocco Baldelli will begin the season on the disabled list because of a condition that the 26-year-old outfielder says leaves him extremely fatigued after short workouts. Baldelli has been sidelined since last May because of lingering hamstring problems and has appeared in just 127 of 486 games the past three seasons because of an assortment of injuries.

Speaking of Ferocious Bears...

A bigger issue in the U.S.?

1) Subprime/credit crisis
2) Corruption in U.S. Gov't

A flip of the coin to me...

It's that time of year again

L&C's college baseball teams go at it: UM vs. UM

Representing Lavinius is the University of Miami Hurricanes. Repping Sir Cooch is the University of Maine Black Bears.

First pitch is Wednesday night (tomorrow) at 7:00 pm eastern standard time. Those in the Miami area are welcome to join Lavinius at Mark Light Field on the UM campus in beautiful Coral Gables. It's not everyday one gets a chance to meet a blogger of either Lavinius or Cooch's caliber, so if you're in the Miami area, or Alaska for that matter, don't miss this opportunity.

It won't be difficult to spot me. Just look for the best looking guy there. :)

Kawika Mitchell= the man

"Hit Tom Brady as much as you can. Don’t matter if it’s a penalty. You gotta get in the guy’s face."

Quite possibly my favorite Buffalo Bill

Sox Scout Arrested for Jerking Off at Hotel Window

"Hello housekeeping, you need squigi?"


Palm Beach Post Staff Writer

Tuesday, March 04, 2008

PORT ST. LUCIE — A Boston Red Sox scout was arrested, accused of masturbating at the window of his hotel room in front of two women and two underage girls at the swimming pool, records show.

Jesse Levis, 39, faces two felony charges for committing lewd and lascivious acts in front of children under the age of 16.

Full article

UPDATE: Sports Talk Show host weighs in

John Henderson

Hey Cooch, how would you like to line up across this guy?

Spicy Cock Soup

Happy Leap Year!

Gangbang bus involved in tragic accident

ORLANDO -- Authorities think weather could be to blame for a hit-and-run rollover crash early Wednesday morning.

Police said that around midnight a motorcyclist was driving on State Road 408 in Orlando in the pouring rain without lights.

A sport utility vehicle slammed on its brakes, trying to avoid the motorcycle, causing the SUV to hit the guardrail and flip over.

Authorities said the driver of the motorcycle drove off, meaning that driver could face charges of leaving the scene of an accident with injuries if he or she is found. Police do not have a description of the motorcycle.

Three men and one woman were rushed to a hospital.

The woman is in critical condition. There is no word yet on the condition of the three men.

In an odd twist to the story, all four people inside the car were either naked, or semi-naked.

S.R. 408 was closed down until the SUV was turned over and cleared off the road.

Full article here

Bad designs that still made it to market...

I'll pass on these delicacies...

Lavinius is on the left; Cooch on the right

Phils' Kyle Kendrick gets punk'd

USS Lavinius

The USS Lavinius (NCC-2758) was a Loknar-class (mark II subclass) Federation frigate starship in the 23rd century, entering Starfleet service on reference stardate 2/0111. The Lavinius was named for the star system Lavinius, and was declared lost on stardate 2/0902. (RPG reference book: Federation Ship Recognition Manual)

[reference: star trek wiki]

Cooch is MF Juicy

Cooch obeys monkeys

The Battle of Cooch's Bridge

Cooch unveils logo to new music venture

Clemens is

Bush's Economic Stankulus, errr Stimulus Plan

"Hey, let's give our taxpayers some cash to blow so our economy will get all stimulated and shit."
- George W. Bizzush

AOL.com poll of ~136,000 people said they will do the following with this new windfall (# of respondents in parenthesis):

I'll pay bills: 50% (67,525)
I'll save it: 19% (25,450)
I'll go shopping: 15% (20,595)
I'm not getting a rebate: 9% (12,313)
Other: 7% (10,078)

Ah, you mean that most people aren't even going to buy new stuff? What kind of economic stimulus plan is this?!

Clemens is Toast

Going forward, questions will focus on Clemens more than McNamee

By Lester MunsonESPN.com
Updated: February 13, 2008

During Wednesday's hearing on Capitol Hill, which lasted more than four hours, members of the U.S. House of Representatives Committee on Oversight and Government Reform interrogated Brian McNamee and Roger Clemens about their irreconcilable stories concerning McNamee's work as Clemens' trainer. The questions, the answers and newly disclosed evidence raised the possibility of future criminal investigations and charges. Here are some of the questions and their answers:

Did the hearing produce any evidence that could cause problems for Roger Clemens?
Yes. Clemens and his team of lawyers and crisis management experts should worry about two developments in the hearing.

First, Clemens had no solid answer for the devastating testimony and written statement from Andy Pettitte...

Second, Clemens and his legal team blundered into the possibility of a charge of tampering with a witness...

[the rest]

Fooking Effingham!

Fucking, Austria
(pronounced Fooking)

[fucking, austria on wikipedia]

Schilling WTF?

Ok...so he signs an incentive laden $8M deal for '08 and everybody's dancing in the streets. Now it comes to light that he has a potentially serious shoulder problem that could potentially wipe him out for the season, thus ending his career?

I'm still trying to make sense of this. He said on his blog that before he signed the contract, he passed the Sox physical exam. At what point in time between the contract signing and now did he eff up his shoulder?

The L&C diary demands answers dammit!

The Downfall of the Patriots Dynasty

Brady and Moss opt out of Pro Bowl, day after Super Bowl loss

tom brady

randy moss

Pats fans

the guy has a point... albeit redundant.

Chris Berman goes off on incompetent camera crew

Chris Berman's patience is BACK BACK BACK BACK...GONE!

Patriots are not the best ever

Before the Patriots rolled along, Miami coach Don Shula always complained whenever another team was mentioned as the league's best ever. But running the table and going unbeaten is often the result of a fortunate break (the schedule) or a determined team relying on focus.

To me, domination is only complete when the playoffs are finished and the best team wins. Every team's best season is when it hoists the Lombardi Trophy. For the legendary Packers team, it was when they actually hoisted Vince Lombardi onto their shoulders.

1. 1984 San Francisco 49ers: Bill Walsh had two great teams in this decade, but this one finished the regular-season 15-1, outscoring opponents by 248 points. In the playoffs, the 49ers dominated two of the NFC's very best teams — future Super Bowl winners — in the Giants and the Chicago Bears. Granted, this team didn't have Jerry Rice yet, but it had a super defense — better talent than New England's today — with a secondary led by Hall of Famer Ronnie Lott that included Eric Wright, Dwight Hicks and Carlton Williamson. The front line had Fred Dean, Gary "Big Hands" Johnson and Dwaine Board. These 49ers throttled Dan Marino, who had thrown a then-record 48 touchdowns in the regular season, in Super Bowl XIX. They sacked him four times and intercepted him twice. On the 49ers side, Joe Montana passed for three touchdowns and a young running back named Roger Craig scored three times.

2. 1992 Dallas Cowboys: This was the first of Jimmy Johnson's back-to-back Super Bowl teams. Yes, they lost three games during the regular season, but they were super impressive in the playoffs, whipping a 14-2 Niners team in San Francisco for the NFC title, and then demolishing Jim Kelly and the Buffalo Bills 52-17 in Super Bowl XXVII. These Cowboys were powerful on both sides of the ball, and offensive tackles Mark Tuinei and Erik Williams (maybe the best lineman of his generation not in the Hall of Fame) protected Troy Aikman and opened holes for Emmitt Smith. Cornerback Kevin Smith had the talent to shut down Jerry Rice, too.

3. 2007 New England Patriots: We're assuming they whip the Giants and go 19-0. My only reservation with calling them the best ever is that they were fortunate to play six games in a woefully weak AFC East. Unlike the 49ers and Cowboys, who had quality division foes and strong conference opponents, the Patriots whipped their division foes by a margin of 153 points, with a league-record 589 points. Heck, the best quarterback they faced in the AFC East might have been Bills rookie Trent Edwards. The Patriots' greatest accomplishment was beating six playoff teams during the regular season while unleashing a passing offense featuring Randy Moss, Wes Welker, Jabar Gaffney, Ben Watson, Donte' Stallworth and Kevin Faulk. If you think the Chargers beat up on Brady last Sunday, both the 49ers and Cowboys had better defenses. The Patriots haven't seen a back seven as talented as San Francisco's in 1984.

4. 1985 Chicago Bears: When you think of characters, you think of this team. It was full of great talkers and one of the greatest football players ever in Walter Payton, who didn't score in the Super Bowl because Mike Ditka had this thing for Refrigerator Perry. This was a very unique team in that Ditka was the head coach, but a lot of the defensive players followed Buddy Ryan because of what his innovative 46 defense allowed them to do. Yes, they went 15-1 and demolished the out-numbered New England Patriots in the championship game, but they really didn't face a lot of great quarterbacks that season and the ones they did, they simply destroyed. Yes, they beat Montana and Phil Simms (although windy conditions in Soldier Field has something to do with that), but they faced someone named Dieter Brock in the NFC title game.

The rest...

Monkey Steals the Peach

Cooch has been at the beach again...

My Janitor is Pissed

The janitor for my organization is tired of cleaning-up after slobs. He left the following message in the kitchen (bwhahahhahahah):

The Health Industry is on top of things

Way to break new ground guys!

Getting in shape reduces death risk

By CAPTAIN OBVIOUS, Associated Press Writer Tue Jan 22, 9:32 PM ET

DALLAS - The more fit you are, the longer you're likely to live, according to a large study of veterans that applies to black men as well as white men. The Veterans Affairs researchers found that the "highly fit" men in the study had half the risk of death as those who were the least fit. Being "very highly fit" cut the risk even more, by 70 percent.


In other news, Neil Armstrong lands on the moon, Abraham Lincoln dead at 56

Heath Ledger Dead at 28

NEW YORK (CNN) -- Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.

Heath Ledger was found dead in his Manhattan apartment.

The Academy Award nominated actor was 28.

"Pills were found in the vicinity of the bed," police spokesman Paul Browne told CNN.
"This is being looked at as a possible overdose, but that is not confirmed yet."

Ledger was found by a housekeeper who had gone to wake him for an appointment with a masseuse in the Soho apartment, Browne said.

He was declared dead at about 3:30 p.m., Browne said.

In 2005, the actor played Ennis Del Mar in "Brokeback Mountain," about two cowboys who had a secret relationship.

The role earned him the Oscar nomination.

"I Am Legend" Predicts Super Bowl

Shout out to a new L&C fan!

I hit the recruiting trail over the weekend seeking out new fans of our little hidden gem here on the blogspot (well, not really, but it sounds good to put it that way).

While on the trail, I was able to secure the fandom of one Victoria Baxter Nuzzi. You can just refer to her like I do as "Vikki." She's a second or third cousin of Lavinius (I believe our grandparents were first cousins...but if you're reading this Vikki, feel free to reply and clear this matter up once and for eternity). :)

She becomes either the 6th or 7th fan of the L&C diary. We hope to be at 10 fans by the end of the year, and 20 fans by the end of the decade. Lofty goals, I know, but when there's a will, there's a way...

Let's all give a big L&C welcome to Vikki!

Opening Day begins in Japan with Red Sox playing A's

BOSTON -- Red Sox fans will have to get up early to watch the World Series champions start their title defense.

The major league season opener against the Oakland Athletics in Tokyo will start at 6:07 a.m. EDT on March 25, the Red Sox said Wednesday. The teams also play the following day.

Ahead of Opening Day, the Red Sox play the Central League's Hanshin Tigers at Tokyo Dome on March 22 (11:07 p.m. EDT March 21) and the Yomiuri Giants on March 23 (6:07 a.m.).

Funny, yet Creepy...

Banned in the U.S.A.

Man this takes me back! Cooch used to rock out to these guys growing up on the mean streets of Lisbonia.

24 posts!

I am pleased to announce that we have hit the 24 post plateau and it's only January 15th.

To give L&C fans a point of reference, last year we didn't have our 24th post of the year until August 22nd!

L&C has started '08 fast out of the blocks. We have no intention of slowing down. Enjoy the content!

Signed,
L of L&C

Mancrush V.2 adding some meat on them bones!

CHESTNUT HILL, Mass. -- The wiry frame is now right up there with the no-hitter when it comes to Clay Buchholz. It's just a memory.

The Red Sox's top pitching prospect took the organization's mandate of adding strength to his gifted right arm during the offseason seriously. And it was a noticeably sturdier Buchholz that worked out at Boston College on Tuesday as part of the Red Sox 2008 Rookie Program, a two-week event that ends on Friday.

"I know what it's going to take for me to have to stay on the team this year," said Buchholz. "A lot of hard work and dedication goes into being prepared for 162 games and that was my offseason this year, that was [what] I put all the dedication toward. I think I'm right at 191 [pounds] right now actually. It's better than the 178 I was last year."

Full story

And now, another priceless pep talk for Archie's elder seed

"Bummed about that loss? Wish you had another shot to knock off the undefeated Patriots? Understandable. But don't sweat it. You're still the reigning Super Bowl champ. Yeah, you know it. You're the man. But only for 20 more days. Then you're crap again. So live it up."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:

"Throw another tipped pass that was intercepted in the red zone? Too bad. Here's what you need to do: Work on your accuracy. Maybe watch a game tape of Tom Brady for some tips. That guy went 26-for-28. He's awesome. Plus, watching him is easy on the eyes. Total dreamboat."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning:

"So I hear you're upset about losing at home in the divisional playoffs. Worried people are going to call you a choker again? Don't be. You played well. You just had a few bad breaks. And you were up against a buzz saw. That Billy Volek has never lost in the playoffs. He's a dynamo."


And now, another priceless pep talk for Peyton Manning

Dear Tony Romo

Stop dating celebrities.

Signed,
Those concerned for Tony Romo's career

P.S.- plenty of high quality low-profile snatch out there to get you off just as good as a celeb.

Priceless Pep Talks

"Hey pal! Just get your shit served by Norv Turner and a bunch of back-ups?"

Message to Peyton Manning

TURN DOWN A COMMERCIAL!

This message has been paid for and sponsored by people who can no longer stand seeing Manning's ugly mug.

Bill Walton= GOAT

As annoying as Bill Walton can be, the man is also incredibly witty.

On KIA NBA Shootaround, they asked Walton, Screamin' A., and Jalen Rose who they thought could beat San Antonio.

Jalen Rose says, "Phoenix."

Walton questions, "Phoenix? Why Phoenix? Are they still paying you?"

Jalen replies, "Yes. Under the table."

And Walton quips, "Just like at Michigan."

It takes 7 hours, 51 minutes to get from Here to There

Here to There


View Larger Map

Celtics match best start in franchise history

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. (AP) - The Boston Celtics' big three all had big nights against the New Jersey Nets.

In the end, it was the Celtics' reserves that came up big in the fourth quarter in Boston's 86-77 win, the 30th of the season for the NBA's top team.




"We got down on the road and our starters needed some rest," Celtics coach Doc Rivers said. "The bench was able to dig it out and get us the win. They were huge for us. Every game, we try to get our big guys rest because its a long season and were trying to give the bench more confidence."

Kevin Garnett had 20 points and 11 rebounds, Paul Pierce added 18 points and Ray Allen scored 16 as Boston (30-4) matched the 1959-60 champion Celtics for the best start in franchise history.


[full story]

They said she had the biggest pussy they've ever seen...

Roger Clemens's Dog

Cooch was asked to complete the sentence: "My ..."

Division 1 college basketball team held to 20 points in a game! Are you friggin kidding me?!

When unprecedented suckage levels are attained, we at the L&C diary are compelled to share these findings with our readers.

The St. Louis University Billikens (whatever the sixth letter a Billiken is) were held to 20 POINTS in a Division 1 college basketball game.

We're not talking 'bout division 2, 3, 9, 10, high school, junior high, or elementary school. We're talking Division 1 college basketball.

Some lowlights for SLU:

*7 total first half points
*12% shooting from the field/floor in the first half
*14.6% shooting from the field/floor for the game
*5.3% shooting from 3-point land
*5 points from their leading scorer

My word! They could house all the homeless people in New Orleans with all them bricks!

A big THANK YOU goes out to the St. Louis University Billikens for reminding us that despite the world we live in, we still haven't seen it all.

Box score

"Roidy Man"

BWAHAHAHAHAHA

Rice shafted on Hall of Fame voting... Again.

BY THE NUMBERS: 382 -- The number of home runs hit by Sox outfielder Jim Rice during his 16-year career, which was tops among AL hitters during that span.

Seriously, isn't it time to get over the fact that he spent a good deal of time being a douche bag? His numbers speak for themselves. He's a Hall of Famer.

Clemens and McNamee UNEDITED 17 min phone convo

Props to the WEEI website. Enjoy L&C fans!

WARNING: Explicit language for all our young viewers out there. Please consult mommy or daddy before listening.

What do you want me to do?

McNamee injecting Clemens hidden video!

Holy shit!

Rocket Roger files defamation suit!

Took long enough for one of the accused to step up to the plate (or in Rocket's case, the rubber)

McNamee: "I'll go to jail for you!"

Roger: Not before you go to court for me!

More fun with blondes

Going to Orlando?

There was a blonde who had been planning a trip to Orlando for almost a year. She had saved her money and was determined to take this trip. Nothing or no one was going to stand in her way of enjoying something that had taken her so long to plan.

When she boarded the airplane, she settled herself into a first-class seat. It wasn't long until another passenger tapped her on the shoulder and told her she was in his seat.

She adamantly replied, "I am blonde. I have saved for over a year for this trip to Orlando and I am traveling first-class. I will not move." The other passenger complained to the flight attendant. The flight attendant walked up to the blonde and politely asked her to please move to the coach seat that was assigned her.

The blonde again said, "I am blonde. I have saved for over a year for this trip to Orlando and I am traveling first-class. I will not move." The flight attendant stalked up to the Captain and calmly told him what had happened. He said he would handle it.

The Captain leaned over the blonde and whispered in her ear. She immediately gathered her things and hurriedly moved to the back of the airplane.

Both the other passenger and the flight attendant looked at each other in disbelief, and the flight attendant asked the Captain exactly what was it he said that settled this disagreement so readily.

He smiled and replied, "I simply told her the front of the plane was not going to Orlando."

Moved to Maine

Aug 12 - Moved to Maine. It is so beautiful here. The hills are so serene and beautiful. Can hardly wait to see snow cover them. God's country...I love it here.

Oct 14 - Maine is the most beautiful place. The leaves are turning all different colors, I love the shades of red and orange. I went for a ride through the beautiful country side and spotted some deer, they are so graceful certainly they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be paradise, I love it here.

Nov 11 - Deer season will start soon. I can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquillity. Hope it will snow soon...I love it here.

DEC 2 - It snowed last night. Woke up to find everything blanketed in white, it looks like a post card. We went outside and cleaned the snow off of the steps and shoveled the driveway. We had a snowball fight, (I won) and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the driveway out again. What a beautiful place. Mother nature in perfect harmony... I love Maine.

DEC 12 - More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal). Winter wonderland... I love it here.

DEC 19 - More snow last night. Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I'm exhausted from shoveling. Fuckin snowplow...

DEC 22 - More of the white shit fell last night. I've got blisters on my hands from all this damn shoveling. I think the snow plow man hides around the corner and waits till I'm done shoveling my driveway...asshole!

DEC 25 - "White Christmas" my busted ass! More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snow plow, I swear I'll castrate that dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more salt on the roads to melt this fuckin ice.

DEC 28 - More white shit fell last night. Been inside since Christmas Day, except for shoveling out the driveway after "Snow Plow Harry" comes by, that prick...God damn car is behind a ton of snow. The weatherman said to expect another 10 inches of white shit tonight. Do you know how many shovels of snow 10 inches is?

Jan 1 - Happy Fuckin New Year. The weatherman was wrong (again). We didn't get 10" last night, we got 34", stupid ass weatherman anyway. At this rate it won't melt before the 4th of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shithead had the balls to come to the door and asked to borrow my shovel. After I told him I've broken 6 shovels already, shoveling all the shit; he pushed into my driveway, I broke the last one over his fuckin head.

Jan 4 - Finally got out of the house today. Went to the store to get food, on the way back a God damn deer ran in front of me. I hit the bastard and tore my car all to hell. Did $3,000 in damages. Those fuckin beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had killed all of them last November.

May 3 - Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing rotted out from all the fuckin salt they keep dumping all over the road. Car looks like a piece of shit.

May 10 - Moved back to Florida, I can't imagine why anyone in their right fuckin mind would ever want to live in this godforsaken place called Maine.

Whopper Freakout (Ghetto Version)

source: DoubleViking

Give me my mutha bleepin' Whopper!